A Pell Grant is one of the most fiendish instrument of communism ever devised to bedevil the free market of America. Invented by an East Coast Liberal named Claiborne deBorda Pell, who, despite his all-American name was a red-blooded commie who wasted precious tax-cutting time finding new and inventive ways to distribute the wealth of hard-working Americans to fund the drug-habits of the welfare-dependent children of hippies. Just you wait until Pee is elected, he'll finally put an end to your nefarious wealth-spreading!