Boomers were battered kids born to war-mongering, Spam-eating, beer-drinking, Bob Hope-listening, Hitler-hating, A-bomb-blasting, Kennedy-assassinating, pinball-playing, Empire State Building-building square parents who lived or died during WWII, and are forever caught in an emotional triangle of Humphrey Bogart, puritanical values, and shell-shock caused by the prospect that getting laid once cost an entire lifetime.