Mike Portnoy, otherwise known as "The Llama" (due to his habbit of spitting throughout his entire life), was born in 1967, Long Island New York. He is no longer (for some shit reason) the drummer, songwriter, vocalist, llamatherapist, and the official llama for the lesbanese folk group Dream Theater. He took an interest in drumming while in the womb, however straight after his birth his parents decided to move to Lebanon to train him as a Llama Breeder, which caused Lebanon contains more and more dramas. This is where he met John Petrucci and John Myung, who were planning on entering Berklee Music College to study jazz influenced pornogrind. Mike was forced to leave his parents at an early age to collect vermin and other small creatures to pay his enterance fee into Berkleeeeeeee. Upon hea