Yuri Andropov (birth name: Sargon of Akkad) was born in the city state of Ur in Sumeria sometime in the 24th century B.C. He did a bunch of boring stuff for four thousand years, and finally became a person of remark in 1917, during the Russian Revolution, when he changed his name to Yuri Andropov and joined Lenin's forces. After that, he was a boring Soviet bureaucrat until one horrible day in 1984.