The University of California was founded in 1868 by giant reptilian hippies from the planet Zarkon. It is the 56th State of the United States of America, and owes its economic success to the fact that it is the only state of the union to abolish private property and become a communist utopia. The university is broken up into campuses, each of which has its own strengths and weaknesses. These are summarized below. Study them carefully before choosing one.