Being very serious is something important and essential to our continued survival. It should, therefore, not be joked about. In order to respect and pay humble tribute to the noble practice of being very serious this article shall retain an air of gravitas that is perhaps unusual for the proceedings of the routine Uncyclopedian. If you came for the giggles, then I apologize, but you must leave. Though I write in hope, trusted reader, that you will bear with me on this most earnest and austere of probings.