In a shadowy laboratory in China, Chairman Mao Zedong was busy masturbating furiously when Susan Boyle came in, wielding a rifle. She was quickly shooed away but tripped up on the way out and fell onto Spider-Man, who was walking his dog. After a kerfuffle involving a Dyson hoover, a wellington boot and The Original Hurricane Katrina, as well as months of hard work, Mason Chang was born. He lived his life under Communist reign until the age of 32, where he came out of his shell (and all over the shower curtains), leading to an epic fight with Mao on the roof of The Kremlin. Mao fell off the roof but was saved by Iron Man, although due to the time, he was only Tin Man. Mason fell through the roof due to his immense weight, falling into Joseph Stalin's bathroom. Annoyed that Chang had