The Zzaardvark's size is unusual in that it varies on exactly where it lies. While lying down early on, it can sometimes double its span. When it stretches over a red patch of ground it can as much as triple its magnitude. In these rare cases, the creatures tend to reach anywhere between 10 and 12 tons, and can get to be about 27 feet long. They have the ability to shuffle at random, despise the letter "Q", and can often only reproduce with the aid of a little known fruit colloquially known as the "Blank Tile".