Very little is known about Fr. Robert J. J. Levis's early childhood. According to his offical biography most of the original paperwork was destroyed after the second great flood that took place in upstate Pennsylvania in the summer of 1882. Sources say that Fr. Bob Levis reincarnated several times. In his past, he was a Pig, a Flea, a Sofa, and a Goodyear tire. His father, Noah Levis, had a vision that Jesus Christ told him that he was going to flood upstate Pennsylvania for its "wickedness." Those in upstate Pennsylvania had the reputation of having sexual relations without a white bedsheet with a hole cut in the middle, separating husband and wife. The Lord said that this was an abomination and that the village must be destroyed. Noah Levis, an upstanding citizen of the village, diligent