In the last five years, there were more than nine thousand dragon-related deaths in the United States alone. But there is a far more dangerous threat to humanity from these beasts than the obvious deaths due to burning and eating: the repercussions from fire on the polar ice caps. With the already alarming rate at which the polar ice caps are melting, dragons only magnify the problem. If we don’t put a stop to this, the only creatures left alive will be dragons, though some speculate that the oncoming ecological disaster will also not harm the mole men who live in the New York City sewers, feeding on alligator meat and the unidentifiable contents of Taco Bell burritos.