Rafael "Rafa the Goatee" Beneath-us Maudes (born 16 April 1960) is a fat, sweaty Spanish waiter famous for his special house paella, world-renowned because it is specially flavoured with the distict taste of Slur Alex Fergusons bile. He was also manager & part time player of the Mickey Mousers Soccer Franchise but now is in FC Moratti. This is a particularly great achievement seeing that he suffers from acute myopia(blindness for the uninformed). It is rumoured that, if he is ever to smile, he will instantly and spontaneously self combust.