University College London (UCL) remains the only academic institution to be run by a living specimen of the 70's Porn Moustache. Indeed, we are the world's only institution to be governed by a moustache, although the Grand High Master 'Tache does have several minions to perform the more menial tasks such as interviews with commercial television, spanking of undergrads' bottoms, accountancy graduations, S&M with the Dean of Students, and filing. His preferred body is Professor Malcolm Grant, a Chilean ambassador whom the 'Tache seduced to The Dark Side after attaching himself to his upper lip during the student protests of Ulaanbaataaar '72.