Early explorers and researchers believe the Ozarks were created by the Green Lantern, who was jealous of Superman's Fortress of Solitude. However, modern statisticians, comic-book junkies, and a sloo of nerdy virgins have made revolutionary discoveries that have turned conventional wisdom on its ear. The latest theories hold that an unknown group of people from a distant region (possibly somewhere over the rainbow) were threatened in their native land by a massive flood. Escaping the rising waters, they constructed massive wooden ships and sailed eastward through Kansas and on toward the Atlantic.