Christian Boot Camp is where all God's beloved children go so they won't get left behind. You'd better hope you go here during at least one summer during your lifetime, so you can become a Christian Soldier for God, like all Americans should be. Otherwise, you're going to burn in the deepest pit of hell while being sodomized for eternity. The camp counselors are bound and determined to make sure the kids become the very best Christians their parents' money can buy by any means necessary.