You know about Lavender Town. You know that the town’s sorrowful music can tear out of the game, enter you through your ears, consume your head, and leave you screaming for the end, to stop the pain, stop the wailing of the dead that never end - screaming, until you find a way to silence it. I’m going to tell you a story. If you wish to aid yourself in setting the stage, go ahead and open a new tab, and bring up that music. Indulge yourself in its 8-bit horror. Just don’t go away. Don’t leave. Because I found the truly terrifying secret of the ghost town. Why? Why am I so weak?