The first thing to consider before having your colonoscopy is your selection of a doctor. You and your doctor are about to experience the sort of intimacy compared with which marital bedroom relations are but a passing nod on the highway of life. Make sure your doctor is someone who puts you at ease, and with whom you can be entirely candid. It is recommended for a procedure of this nature that you avoid any doctor with a creepy German accent, especially if he tells you his family "fled ze Fazerland after ze var." Also, if a doctor appears overly enthusiatic at the prospect of performing your colonoscopy, consider it a warning sign. Finally, avoid the temptation to receive your colonoscopy from practitioners operating out of vans; although inexpensive, these "gypsy colonoscopists" are rare