Swartzwelder attended High School in Renton, Washington. Swartzwelder started out with a career in advertising, after which he began writing for Saturday Night Live and Sunday Morning Live, where he met George Meyer and D.B. Sweeney. After Meyer quit Saturday Night Live and created the Magazine Army Man he recruited Swartzwelder to help him write it. Meyer noted on Army Man: "The only rule was that the stuff had to be funn and pretty short. To me, the quintessential Army Man Joke was one of John Swartzwelder's: "They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of Coffee that tastes good? It's a horrfying idea juxtaposed with something really banal---and yet there's a kind of logic to it. It's illuminating because it's kind of how Americans see things: Life's a big jumble, but somehow