To prove how much of an it-getter he really is, he spent the last three years devising a plan to get on "The Colbert Report". Step 1: Know who America's greatest institutional enemies really are: a. The UN b. Congress Step 2: Write a book about it. Step 3: beg, bribe or threaten the producers of "The Colbert Report". He succeeded at his life's goal, and got nailed on March 7, 2006 when he promoted his book, "The Broken Branch: How Congress Is Failing America and How to Get It Back on Track"