The Rod of Truthiness is how you keep your property children in line. Children are born incapable of truthiness, so we are commanded beat the truthiness into our children (Proverbs 23:14, etc.). If you don't beat your child, they become what is called "little tyrants." This is a gateway to much more serious sins such as: * Rape * Blasphemy * Gaytheism * Monkey worship * Meth smoking * Self Rape * Watching the Daily Show * Registering democrat * Sympathizing with queers * Eating babies * Having abortions * See also: