The Torah (from the Hebrew root harah, meaning "Shut up and learn it or you'll get no Bar Mitzvah presents") is the first division of what Jews call the Tankah and Christians call the Old Testament. Other names for the Torah are the Pent-up Tuchis and the Five Books of Moe, Larry and Curly. The Torah was allegedly dropped on Moe, Larry, and Curly on top of Sinai Hospital.