The Prophet of Jingle Bells' true name is actually Grunt Santa Claus. He was raised on the planet, Hoth . There he had a dream, to go and bring the season of good cheer to the covenant and apparently Steve Jobs had possessed him so he bought an iPhone 3000SJE. Jingle Bells attended the university of IN DA HOOD. There he learned how to take care of HIS BEEYATCH, such as how to 'FEED' it and how to 'TAKE CARE' of it until it got to the stage where 'it' worships you and believes that Darth Vader will grap 'it' and take 'it' away to the Planet of the Apes and force 'it' into a brothel run by Pawnee'noobsee's brute alter ego... Pwnaurus.