A republican party, also known as the most potent oxymoron in the known universe, is a type of party usually consisting of republicans, standing around and talking about the good ol' days before that damn FDR. For decades, non-republicans wondered what went on at these GOP get-togethers, as they were usually deported from the house or local church that the party was being held at. But in 2007, after detecting illegal activities within the perimeter of the party, some liberal hippies subpoened the party, and what they found was FUCKED UP! There were hookers there. HOOKERS! While at first this information came as a shock to the American people, President Bush restored confidence in the hearts of the Americans who wanted their confidence restored with the following speech;