Paul Russel is the representative of Satan (Staten?) on Earth, doomed to wander the land for eternity, spreading hatred and warmongery among the people of the world. He also plays a mean set of bagpipes, rumored to be a skill passed down from Scotistanian dictator Franklin O'Connor. Rumors of his exploits have been retold so often that they have become myth—Cain and Abel was originally Paul Russel and Abel; his hunting of the Great White Whale was immortalized in Moby Dick by Hermann Melvil, though in the novel the character based on him is killed—Russel is immortal; he reappeared in 1984 in New York, in the form of a giant marshmallow man, but he was defeated by a group of weird men with a catchy theme song; in 2552, he launched himself into space with the Bungie slingshot, defeated an al