| abstract
| - The moviemaking technique was invented in the summer of 1912 by none other than Adolf Hitler, who went on to become the leader of the Unfree World and the host of the 1936 Special Olympics. Hitler managed to revolutionize cinematic animation, even before he introduced his innovation of poisonous aerosols to the field of personal hygiene. Unfortunately for him, for us, and for the world of 3D animation, his tools were painfully slow. After nine years locked in his mother's basement with his tools and shelves of energy drinks, Hitler managed to complete only 240 frames--eight seconds--of his first 3D-animated film, Das Grue-Spiel (Toy Story). The frustration this brought him led him to abandon his work, change careers, and fatefully, become the leader of the Nazi party in 1921. In an interview on his experiences as a 3D animator, the soon-to-be-tyrant recalled, "Eight seconds in nine years! If I could have produced an average of at least 1 second of footage per year, I might have considered continuing. Still, I think there's something big around the corner for me. I don't feel angry about the failure to fully establish 3D Animation as a profitable industry, but I do blame the limitations of my tools. I want to hurt things now".
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