Delia is a well-known tee-totaller. She has not drunk alcohol since the age of 5, and she is a well-known figure in the temperance movement. Her books include Why I Do Not Ever Cook With Hard Liquor?, Cookery: Sober and Loving It! and Non-Alcoholic Cocktails: A Guide For Football Directors. Delia is a Siamese twin to Tony Blair, separated before conception.
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| - Delia is a well-known tee-totaller. She has not drunk alcohol since the age of 5, and she is a well-known figure in the temperance movement. Her books include Why I Do Not Ever Cook With Hard Liquor?, Cookery: Sober and Loving It! and Non-Alcoholic Cocktails: A Guide For Football Directors. Delia is a Siamese twin to Tony Blair, separated before conception.
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| - Delia is a well-known tee-totaller. She has not drunk alcohol since the age of 5, and she is a well-known figure in the temperance movement. Her books include Why I Do Not Ever Cook With Hard Liquor?, Cookery: Sober and Loving It! and Non-Alcoholic Cocktails: A Guide For Football Directors. Smith rocketed to fame in 1999 when she bought a controlling stake in Chelsea Football Club, apparently in protest at the poor catering facilities at the ground. Unfortunately she faced intimidation by organised crime syndicates, and was forced to transfer her interest to a Football club which is so low that even Ipswich Town's supporters look down on it. She went on to become a media tycoon; at one point, over 90% of the BBC World Service broadcasts featured Delia (or one of her five husbands) discussing either football or macrame. She currently ekes out a living in the London Underground, luring passengers on to the tracks using a modern incarnation of a will-o-the-wisp. Delia then eats her victims, after sauteeing lightly and smothering in a rich cheese sauce. Recently fellow cooking diva Nigella Lawson has joined her in this and together they released a DVD through Playboy called Nigella and Delia:They Both Bite. The current London Underground safety handbook lists Delia as "mostly harmless", and suggests that staff on no account carry kitchen utensils on their person. Delia is a Siamese twin to Tony Blair, separated before conception.
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