In a world full of unspeakable evil, namely blue, is a man, I mean baby, named B2-K4, I mean Bonko Klemmings but before his name was Bonko Klemmings it was B2-K4, who is on a mission, but I really wouldn’t call it a mission, to do stuff. You heard me, stuff.
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| - The Adventures of Bonko Klemmings
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| - In a world full of unspeakable evil, namely blue, is a man, I mean baby, named B2-K4, I mean Bonko Klemmings but before his name was Bonko Klemmings it was B2-K4, who is on a mission, but I really wouldn’t call it a mission, to do stuff. You heard me, stuff.
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| - In the setting of the Star Wars galaxy a clone is born in the depths of Kamino. His designation: B2-K4, one of 12 experimental prototypes for the grand army. Born extremely intelligent yet clumsy he quickly escapes his cylinder while receiving serious head trauma in the process. He soon finds the Kaminoan maiden who would become his adoptive mother and is raised by her as a Republic Commando called Bonko Klemmings. Later he joins the Iota Squad under the command of a hick Jedi Known as Sarge. The group trains until it’s time to fight in the battle of Geonosis. Bonko, deemed a lousy troop by his peers, is commissioned to stay out of trouble but ends up destroying more enemies than all of them. Jealous, Bonko's squad mates dump him on the rugged empty world of Dantooine where Bonko ruffits in the wild before eventually finding transit to Coruscant. Abandoned by the Rupublic Army, Bonko finds a job as a bailiff in an important Coruscant court where he witnesses the trial of K-39, a sapient droid. Finally, after the rise of the Empire, Bonko joins the stormtrooper ranks and continues his military career.
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| - In a world full of unspeakable evil, namely blue, is a man, I mean baby, named B2-K4, I mean Bonko Klemmings but before his name was Bonko Klemmings it was B2-K4, who is on a mission, but I really wouldn’t call it a mission, to do stuff. You heard me, stuff. Enter the tale of Bonko Klemmings and the Holy Grail, I mean helmet. Yes, Bonko Klemmings and the Regular Clone Helmet (That is Utterly Mundane). A story jam-packed full action, intrigue and dare I say, WORDS! Ugh! Gah, the pain is ‘cough’ too much! There are words in it?! Something Star Wars related with WORDS in it?!! AAAAAAARRRRGGHHHRPFargtl! AAAAHHHHHH!!!... ‘Grunt’…(I think I'm okay now. That was a bit of a shocker) It’s a story for the ages set in the vast and retconed Star Wars universe where even crap like this could pass for canon, but it isn’t unfortunately. Follow Bonko Klemmings (figuratively speaking of course) as an infant, soldier, infant soldier, and bailiff where bunches of grapes lurk around every corner (figuratively speaking of course). Alas, I, the narrator, must go now, for I am dying since I spoke of the wORDSSS! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! There isn’t much time left, escape while you have your sanity and what remains of mine…
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