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| - So this is an improvisational comedy made with Creeperman129. When we set out on this story, I thought it would end up as a part of Baby You're a Rich Man. Don't know what Creeperman thought about that, or if he even knew what Baby You're a Rich Man is, but that wasn't really relevant. I treated this like a collab with DD and expanded Baby You're a Rich Man out into a multi-author collaboration, in the vein of the Beatles (with DD being John, and Creeperman being Ringo - I am of course Paul). Several things are different in this collection, as compared with the collection with DD, however: for one, I was not drunk during this story - I was drunk with all four DD stories (as of writing this commentary); instead of being drunk, I was extremely high for all the days we wrote this story; addit
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| abstract
| - So this is an improvisational comedy made with Creeperman129. When we set out on this story, I thought it would end up as a part of Baby You're a Rich Man. Don't know what Creeperman thought about that, or if he even knew what Baby You're a Rich Man is, but that wasn't really relevant. I treated this like a collab with DD and expanded Baby You're a Rich Man out into a multi-author collaboration, in the vein of the Beatles (with DD being John, and Creeperman being Ringo - I am of course Paul). Several things are different in this collection, as compared with the collection with DD, however: for one, I was not drunk during this story - I was drunk with all four DD stories (as of writing this commentary); instead of being drunk, I was extremely high for all the days we wrote this story; additionally, due to Creeperman being a different person than DD, I structured my contributions differently, and I wasn't as overtly sexual or profane. This resulted in much more subtle comedy than in the John Lennon section of Baby You're a Rich Man. I remember flashes of this story, but without re-reading it, there is not much I specifically remember of it up here. I do remember that I tried to incorpate aspects of my universe, as I did with The Heels of the Unknown. Seemingly unconnected aspects of the universe, such as the revelation that Whis is a third generation god, the son of Isyen (which comes from KidVegeta's Theogony: From Silence to the Greater Kais), to Ledas being given a cameo at the end of the story (with direct descriptions of him taken from The Great Sushi-Eating Contest) was one of the most enjoyable aspects of writing the story for me. In some ways, I want to make this story canon for those revelations, but as of writing this commentary, I've determined that this story cannot be canon to my universe, due to the insane universe-breaking comedic stuff that occurs. Basically this entire story was improvised, and it was written as most other collaborations of mine have been - I wrote a little bit, then Creeperman wrote some, and we traded off until we were done. There was very little plotted out beforehand. On chat, Creeperman and I discussed story ideas, eventually settling on his idea of a Beerus and Whis adventure. Nothing else about the story was really determined beforehand - it just sort of grew out of that idea, due to me being high, and Creeperman also trying to make things funny. For me, I tried to put a lot of references to things I like in the text. Tim & Eric was one of the major influences for my sections, as was the catalogue of The Beatles. That should come as no surprise, though, for in the past, I have written very Beatles-centric stories on this site *cough cough*. Anyways, my goal with this story was to write these little aesthetic snippets in my sections, of things I wanted to show, both for comedic and non-comedic purposes. I don't remember how they all went, but hopefully they turned out well! I'm not sure what Creeperman's philosophy was when writing, if it was similar to mine, or not. For The Beatles in particular, I wanted to reference Abbey Road, their "final" album, in many ways, and structurally, my sections are meant to mimic that album, particularly my last few sections. Of course, I made plenty of Abbey Road references too, but the structure of my last section in particular was inspired by the second side medley of songs, and the last paragraph of the story was written to be my version of the closing couplet that Paul sings on the album: "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make". There is specific rhyming rhythm in that last paragraph that I will get into in the below endnotes. So we wrote this story from July 24-27, 2016. Over those first three days, we made some decent progress, but it wasn't until the fourth day that we made some truly great progress - we wrote about half of the story on the final day, as is often the case. I don't really remember the actual writing process (thank the eastern supreme kai for google docs history!), but I do have overall pleasant memories of writing this comedy. Hopefully it is funny and cool... we'll see. Anyways, onto the endnotes!
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