| abstract
| - In a studio Sarah: (sings) Donaaaaate all your money I need iiiiiiiit for Miley. It's aaaaall because of her dad She got so gross and soooo saaaa-aaaa-aaaa-aaaa-aa-aa-aaaad. (stops singing) How did this beautiful girl turn into this... thing? Hi, I'm Sarah McLachlan. You may know me from some other extremely depressing commercials such as the one with all the sick dogs or the dying poor people or whatever. But I'm here to discuss an even more important issue, Stopping Miley From Twerking And Acting Like An All Around Tool Bag or (tries to pronounce the word right) SMFTAALAAATB for short. She's out of control. In a music video Miley: (sings) And I can't stop Sticking my tongue out. Back in the studio Sarah: First it was twerking, then it was making out with inanimate objects. And now she's doing something no white girl from Tennessee should ever do: rapping. In another music video Miley: (raps) I don't know how to rap. (mumbles and then raps) Map! Back in the studio Sarah: And she needs your help to stop this. Miley: (sings) I can't stop And I won't st... Sarah: (slaps Miley) As you can see, Miley's crying out for help. Miley: (sings) It's my life I can cry when I want... Sarah: (slaps Miley) Let me show you how you can help. For only five cents a day, you could put some real clothes on Miley. (Miley feels grossed out on her new clothes) Sarah: That could go to feeding ten starving children in Zimbabwe, but this is obviously way more important. When you donate; (gets a package) you'll be given a welcome kit containing a picture of Miley, twenty strands of hair I ripped out, and hand-sanitizer just in case you come in contact with her. Please help this poor girl (gets her leg ripped out) who's plagued with diseases like Tongue-stick-out-itis, Pancake Ass Syndrome, and Used-to-be-a-child-star-on-Disney-but-is-now-trying-way-too-hard-to-prove-she's-an-adult-itis. As you can see, her condition is only getting worse. In different music video Miley: (rides on a wrecking ball while singing) I'm naked to get attention! Back in the studio Sarah: And recently, she's been... Back in the last music video Miley: (sings) naked to get attention! Back in the studio Sarah: And recently, she's been doing this face which I guess she thinks is attractive. And if she doesn't stop, this is how deformed she'll look in ten years. (a picture is shown of deformed Miley) Miley: (raps) Rap rap rap I'm doing a rap. Sarah: (comes in front of Miley) Stop her rapping. (Miley twerks by the couch) Sarah: (comes in front of Miley in a chair carried by a dolly) Stop her twerking. (Miley licks a powered saw) Sarah: (comes in front of Miley) Stop her from having sex with power tools. Join the millions of voices crying to stop Miley. supporter #1: Stop Miley. supporter #2: Stop Miley. supporter #3: Stop Miley. supporter #4: (takes off his sunglasses) Stop that bitch! brony: I don't know, I think Miley's kinda hot when she's twerking in those... Sarah: (rocks Miley like a baby) So won't you join us and stop Miley before she becomes a complete train-wreck like Amanda Bynes. Miley: (sings) It's my life, (sings faster) I can become a complete train-wreck like Amanda Bynes if I want to. Sarah: (drops Miley and sings) Donaaaate aaaall your money I need iiiiiiiit foooooooor Mileyyyyyyyyy. Oooooooo, oooooooooo! Ahahahah, hahahahah, ahahahahahahahahooahahahahohohohoh! Haaaal, haaaal, haaaaaaal (stops singing) Join us now. director: Cut! (they stopped filming and a woman gave Sarah her drink after she snapped) Miley: Nice job Sarah, (gives Sarah the money) now people are totally gonna tweet me for at least a week longer. #STOPMILEY. Back in the last music video Miley: (sings)I'm naked to get attention!
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