EuroSatan is a revised view of the person or demon of Satan (aka Shaitan, Baal) as put forth by the Christian Evangelical Teleological for Investigative Neo-conservativitism Society, (CRETINS). Combining theology and computer science, the CRETINS hold the key to prophecy in the cutting edge field of Bible Code Interpretation. The heart of their operating system is a renovated airplane hanger packed with rabid Evangelical Christians, each working an abacus and feeding results to a trained monkey called a "Central Scrutinizer". Bible Codes are then used to find patterns in the Old Testament (Hebrew Tanakh) which God has put there for only the smart and faithful to find. The resultant words and phrases, when rendered into English, produce startlingly accurate predictions. Evangelical Christia
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| - EuroSatan is a revised view of the person or demon of Satan (aka Shaitan, Baal) as put forth by the Christian Evangelical Teleological for Investigative Neo-conservativitism Society, (CRETINS). Combining theology and computer science, the CRETINS hold the key to prophecy in the cutting edge field of Bible Code Interpretation. The heart of their operating system is a renovated airplane hanger packed with rabid Evangelical Christians, each working an abacus and feeding results to a trained monkey called a "Central Scrutinizer". Bible Codes are then used to find patterns in the Old Testament (Hebrew Tanakh) which God has put there for only the smart and faithful to find. The resultant words and phrases, when rendered into English, produce startlingly accurate predictions. Evangelical Christia
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| - EuroSatan is a revised view of the person or demon of Satan (aka Shaitan, Baal) as put forth by the Christian Evangelical Teleological for Investigative Neo-conservativitism Society, (CRETINS). Combining theology and computer science, the CRETINS hold the key to prophecy in the cutting edge field of Bible Code Interpretation. The heart of their operating system is a renovated airplane hanger packed with rabid Evangelical Christians, each working an abacus and feeding results to a trained monkey called a "Central Scrutinizer". Bible Codes are then used to find patterns in the Old Testament (Hebrew Tanakh) which God has put there for only the smart and faithful to find. The resultant words and phrases, when rendered into English, produce startlingly accurate predictions. Evangelical Christians can then use them to batter unbelievers about the head and neck until they submit to God's will. Of great importance to the likes of George W. Bush and Pat Robertson was the discovery in 1999 that Satan was not in some other-worldly place called Hell, but rather in Europe. Trendy, Windows98-using believers took to calling him EuroSatan, causing a frenzy among the slack-jawed who would believe anything.
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