I think it's my first truley fleshed article I did. What do you guys think? -- 03:54, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
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| - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Oh My God! There's a Meteor Heading Towards Us
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| - I think it's my first truley fleshed article I did. What do you guys think? -- 03:54, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
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| - Avg’d as per Pee Review guidelines
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| - This is where you hit a few ‘’’bmups’’’. “initially cause the sun was too “ sounds incorrect owing to the face that “cause” is used incorrectly . Another problem was found easily in the first section in this… “that I couldn't even get a divorce. I just” Instead of a period, I think a comma would have been a bit more… well-placed. For the grammar problems that I found in the first section, I think I will be directing you to UN:PS to catch all the rouge spelling and grammar problems, because, frankly, I am not an expert in this section.
Grammar aside, everything else in this article seemed well done, except, as I mentioned in Humour, the fact I think the “Armageddon” section and the “Burn up in the Atmosphere” section needs to be switched around. Blue links were abundant and relevant, I was happy to see that. The only way I could have found a red link would have been to put one in myself, bonus points in that department. Finally, the categories were abundant, well placed, and humourous, saving this section from a 5 to make it a solid 6.
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| - The first image that drew my attention was the meteour, and for good reason… it’s a big, flaming rock pouring out of the sky, how could it NOT get my attention?! After getting a read of the caption, my attention turned to the city below it to the left, about where the metour was heading, right towards the image of the city, which elicited the oppourtunity for a chuckle, especially when the caption under the city referred to the image of the meteour. Very good job in that section, I do daresay.
The image of the Armageddon actours was a decent addition when you consider the text next to the picture, and what the “people” in the article are discussing. Saying that “They can’t save you because they don’t exist” also elicited a hearty chuckle. The final picture, that of superman, set a nice impact and helped remind the reader of the futility of trying to stop a meteour. Good images, nice captions, definitely deserves a 6.
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| - Honestly, I do not remember seeing any article about the End of the World, aside from that specific one, and this seemed to only be dealing with the end of a city, so… meh. The humour in this article, derived mostly from the concept, was about average to what I would expect from an Uncyclopaedia article. You covered all the sections I feel needed to be covered, and did a good job of conveying panic and emotion as the tale went on, so even though it isn’t perfect I feel this deserves a 9.
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| - Hmm… well, for certain, the humour is there, but I think a section-by-section breakdown will help the most. Your opening was decent enough, worth the look and the read. I normally do not expect for the opening to be the “best” part of the article, and while there was nothing ‘’bad’’ about the opening, there was nothing too incredibly outstanding. The discussion of the relationship between the husband and his wife set a tone that I think could have been referenced to a bit later in the story
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| - This has quite the potential to become a featured article, but you need to put a bit of work in before it gets there.
:#Review HTBFANJS, it’s clear you read it, you just should go over it one more time.
:#Switch the “Armageddon” and “Burn Up” sections
:#Throw in a jab at the government for the incoming meteour
:#Poke at Spitzer for the prostitution affair
:#Get help from the Proofreading service. I would say there is only a moderate need for it, though.
Don’t worry too much about the score, this was a very good article that I enjoyed reading. When the problems I pointed out are fixed, I will have no problems at all voting for this article to become featured.
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| - I think it's my first truley fleshed article I did. What do you guys think? -- 03:54, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
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