About: Dry cleaning   Sponge Permalink

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Until recently, the secrets of dry cleaning were only available to an elite group of mostly Asian people known as the Illumiwashi. Common folklore on the Illumiwashi contains rumors of ritual child abuse, saturnalias at Bohemian Grove, and a code of secrecy rivalled only by Skull and Bones. Fortunately, like Skull and Bones (whose exhaustive Guide to the Secrets of Skull and Bones was published in 2002 by Harper Collins, ISBN 123654-2334-3423), the secrets of dry cleaning have recently been made readily available in a free publication of the US Government, How You Can Become a Dry Cleaner Today! available from the Consumer Information Center, Pueblo, Colorado, 81005. (Please note that this publication is only available to US citizens; those who live outside the United States must, as alway

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  • Dry cleaning
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  • Until recently, the secrets of dry cleaning were only available to an elite group of mostly Asian people known as the Illumiwashi. Common folklore on the Illumiwashi contains rumors of ritual child abuse, saturnalias at Bohemian Grove, and a code of secrecy rivalled only by Skull and Bones. Fortunately, like Skull and Bones (whose exhaustive Guide to the Secrets of Skull and Bones was published in 2002 by Harper Collins, ISBN 123654-2334-3423), the secrets of dry cleaning have recently been made readily available in a free publication of the US Government, How You Can Become a Dry Cleaner Today! available from the Consumer Information Center, Pueblo, Colorado, 81005. (Please note that this publication is only available to US citizens; those who live outside the United States must, as alway
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abstract
  • Until recently, the secrets of dry cleaning were only available to an elite group of mostly Asian people known as the Illumiwashi. Common folklore on the Illumiwashi contains rumors of ritual child abuse, saturnalias at Bohemian Grove, and a code of secrecy rivalled only by Skull and Bones. Fortunately, like Skull and Bones (whose exhaustive Guide to the Secrets of Skull and Bones was published in 2002 by Harper Collins, ISBN 123654-2334-3423), the secrets of dry cleaning have recently been made readily available in a free publication of the US Government, How You Can Become a Dry Cleaner Today! available from the Consumer Information Center, Pueblo, Colorado, 81005. (Please note that this publication is only available to US citizens; those who live outside the United States must, as always, continue to live in ignorance, poverty, and fear.) Nevertheless, the story of the Illumiwashi, inextricably intertwined with the history of dry cleaning itself, is a fascinating one — full of suspense, tragedy, mystery, murder, repetitive TV test patterns, and runny French cheeses. Worthy of an entire Doris Kearns Goodwin novel in and of itself, it is a story tailor-made for a publicly-editable reference-parody web site, which unfortunately makes it inappropriate to relate here.
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