| abstract
| - There's no place like utopia! And there's no place like Utopia Manor. A sprawling, palatial estate, Utopia Manor boasts the very finest of housing for athletes and travelers alike, with all the amenities - a pool, a sauna, restaurants, fully stocked kitchens for all manner of species, for those who would rather prepare their own repasts. The architectures is vaguely Space Spanish, with tiled roofs, an open courtyards filled with a lush, beautiful garden, lovely lattices. Really, the only hitch is that the place is pink all over and covered in hearts. Oh, and the wait-staff are all sapient ponies of unusual hue, real horses of a different colour. Dreadwind Galvatron Impactor Barkida Sandstorm Foxfire Beastbox Fortress Maximus Fusillade Red Spacecraft Rodimus Prime Igyak Rodeo! Swoop has arrived. Sandstorm has connected. Beastbox knuckle-walks across the land towards the Igyak corral, a lavender shape shimmering in the heat waves and solidifying as he draws near until he stops at the fenceline. With a fearsome shriek, Swoops body unfolds and converts into his robot mode. The motorcycle splits apart and re-forms into the jovial form of Sit-Com. Let the laugh track begin! It's a beautiful day at Utopia Manor. But then, it always is. The sun is shining, the birdies are cheaping, the butterflies flutter by, and technicolor ponies frolic in the fields, at least the ones not being used for the Ig-Yak rodeo! Yes, actual Ig-Yaks, not ponies, are being used, though this year even the Ig-Yaks seem to have abnormally thick legs, unusual pastel colors, and odd tattoos on their butts. A pale blue winged pony with light, almost white hair and multi-colored whistles tattood on her rump approaches the microphone at the podium. She can be heard saying to an off-stage pony, unaware that the mic's picking her up, "All right, I'll do it, but it seems a very silly event, if you ask me." She ennunciates very clearly and sharply, with particular emphasis on the 't's' and other hard sounds. Once on the stage, she tosses her long mane and forces a faint but strained smile on her muzzle before she begins. "Ladies, Gentlemen, Robots, and all other guests. Welcome to the 2031 Olympics Ig-Yak Rodeo. Tonight, in a test of endurance, skill, and luck... well, mostly luck, to be honest... we will see who is capable of remaining horsed, or rather, Ig-Yaked, the longest. Shall we begin?" Clutch has arrived. The sleek red spacecraft transforms into the winged warrior Redshift. GAME: Rodimus Prime rolls a (1000)-sided die: ROLL: Redshift rolled a 996 ROLL: Galvatron rolled a 929 ROLL: Kup rolled a 868 ROLL: Swoop rolled a 732 ROLL: Fortress Maximus rolled a 664 ROLL: Beastbox rolled a 664 ROLL: Sit-Com rolled a 628 ROLL: Foxfire rolled a 563 ROLL: Sandstorm rolled a 548 ROLL: Impactor rolled a 548 ROLL: #-1 NO SUCH OBJECT VISIBLE rolled a 240 ROLL: Barkida rolled a 93 ROLL: Dreadwind rolled a 31 That maginficent blue bomber, no not that fictional video game character, the fearsome dinobot Swoop soars down to the Igyak corrals. After all the stories he's heard from that grand story teller Kup; how could he pass up a chance to deal with one face on? He lands near the pens, and watches them in wonder. Oh this ws going to be fun! Galvatron descends from above, his feet blasting out powerful flames--which happen to catch a pink tree on fire. This may have been intentional, but who dares ask? "Of course I'm ready!" Galvatron says as he lands. "I've BEEN ready, and the sooner I'm DONE, the sooner I can be off your RIDICULOUS planet!" Kup is frowning and has his arms crossed. He shakes his head and mutters direly, "In my day, the Ig-Yak was a fearsome beast with six legs, snortin' fire outta its nostrils. These things... well, I don't know what the breeders done, and I ain't sure I wanna know." Pastel Ig-Yaks? With butt tattoos instead of brands? It is a disgrace, it is! Whirl has arrived. Clutch has disconnected. If Foxfire isn't going to tell how he makes bombs, he sure as heck isn't going to tell anyone how he rides Igyaks. He sits on his haunches with the other competitors, watching the pony announcer with a hint of curiosity. Sure, it's not the weirdest thing he's seen, but it's...well. You know. He nods once, and lifts up a front paw. "I'm ready!" he declares. "Let's get started!" Beastbox punches the ground a few times, anxious to show these beasts who is boss. "I'll show these stupid things I don't take no guff." Barkida, leaning deliberately on the fence in the way her trainer instructed her was proper protocol for cowboy planets, looks up at the host's announcement. For this event she's had to change her wrappings and armor for denim and cotton, leather chaps and spurs. The hat could easily contain a whole Texan. Her black sword is reformed into the shape of a bowie knife. Femaxians must be a superstitious lot. "Planet Femax stands ready!" she declares, holding a reed of some kind in the corner of her mouth. "... Maybe I shoulda gone easy on the shots last night," Sandstorm mutters as he leans back against a wall and rubs his head for a moment. Still feeling the aftereffects of the drinking contest... and the bit of binging he did afterwards. However even a headgasket-aching hangover wasn't about to stop the Wrecker's resident daredevil from taking a swing at the bucking... broncho things. Dreadwind trudges through the horrid sunlight, the harsh dust gradually scouring his feet, he looks up at the sky shielding his optics with one hand and then sighs heavily. Then realises he's accidentally stumbled across another meaningless event of the 2031 Olympics at some kind of ranch, probably something to do with disgusting smelly flesh creatures, great. "Gone easy? You lost to ah friggin' braniac, Storm!" Impactor laments, giving the Wrecker daredevil a playful shot to the shoulder. "If anythin', just count yer lucky stars I didn't show up ta drink ya under tha table!" Redshift's previous tradition of arriving garbed in a poncho and sombrero seems out of place in this over-saturated sugary-sweet landscape. Today, however, the red speedster comes with a smattering of star-like sparkles painted on his armor, the tiny reflective surfaces scatter and reflect the bright sunlight of this Pony World, and a large gold star is painted around his right eye. "Clearly the key to winning is luck... And dressing for the occasion!" He did win gold while wearing a 'mysterious stranger' poncho! Redshift is no stranger to these huge, gnarled beasts, and quickly he approaches a large irridescent specimen, and a practiced leap sends the spacer into the air, and upon the back of the mighty Igyak! Beast Rodeo: Redshift is placed on the back of Pearl Snap! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac leaps straight up, slamming back down. Beast Rodeo: Redshift is knocked off of Pearl Snap! Galvatron strides towards the Igyak Bones! "You... you look as ridiculous as the others, but..." He holds up a pamphlet, and scowls at it. "...your name is 'Bones,' so, perhaps you will not aggravate me as much as the other Igyaks!" He hops onto the beast and kicks it in the sides hard! "DO YOU WORST, BEAST! YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR THE MIGHT OF GALVATRON!!!" Beast Rodeo: Galvatron is placed on the back of Bones! YEE HAW!! "Oh my!" says the blue winged pony as Redshift immediately goes flying. "Apparently, he has not dressed correctly for the occasion!" The ig-yac shakes like a wet dog drying itself off. Beast Rodeo: Galvatron is knocked off of Bones! Redshift isn't long on the back of the opalescent Pearl Snap, who immediatly lashes out to try and devour the gold star-print on Redshift's face. The beast's snapping jaws close around Redshift's face, and he is thrown, shrieking, across the stately Manor's field. This dusky steel grey and peacock green ig-yak is almost the most normal out of the bunch. Almost. Powerful legs are cocked, literally. Mutated to somehow blend with metal, there two large hammers leading down to pistol-shaped legs. An irascible glint in his slitted yellow eyes says this ig-yak is ready to spite everyone and everything in revenge for his bizarre condition. Steeljaw has arrived. Kup circles around the Ig-Yak corral, squinting at the beasts. he rubs his chin thoughtfully as he looks at them. Commenting on the previous riders and their bad luck, he says lowly, "Rangey, skittish beasts, even if they look sweet." then more loudly, "Well, Gunner, you may say, 'Won't,' but I say, 'Will'!" With a loud 'yee-haw', Kup jumps the fence and chases down his ride, not bothering to wait for Gunner to be placed in the chute, and he tries to jump atop the peacocky hammer beast. Galvatron is flung into a water trough! "ARRRGH!" SPLOOSH Beast Rodeo: Kup is placed on the back of Say I Won't Gunner! YEE HAW!! The harness starts to slide to one side of the ig-yac. Beast Rodeo: Kup is knocked off of Say I Won't Gunner! Kup is sent flying out of the corral and lands in a ditch, which is full of beautiful flowers. He spits a daisy out of his teeth. "Ptoo!" Sandstorm laughs as he points. "You finally met someone more ornery than you Kup!" Robot Pteranodon blinks his optics as he watches Kup going flying overhead. "Kup Okay?" He asks as he looks to the daisy covered old mech. Kup waves off Swoop and assures, "Fit as a fiddle." He stands up, and there's the sound of something cracking inside. "...yeah, didn't need that, anyway." Foxfire just stares. "Come to think of it," he comments, "isn't this event a little dangerous?" Especially for little foxbots like himself! Impactor nudges the fox, "Grow a pair, will ya? Decepticons are watchin'!" Barkida whistles in appreciation of the power of these monsters! Even the massive Cybertronian war machines can't seem to stay on them. "All the more glory to the First One if I succeed," she mutters to herself, cocking her hat forward on her head and steeling her will. The pale blue pony blinks down at Foxfire with confusion. "Well, of course it is!" she exclaims as if it were obvious. "That's why you're required to sign a waiver before participating! You, erm, /did/ sign your waiver, didn't you?" Robot Pteranodon nods and transforms, likely to have better luck in a more humanoid form. "Alright, Me Swoop will try to make you proud!" He says cheerfully, as he jumps over the fence and heads towards All In. Being a Dinobot, he should be able to handle an Ig-yak with so much extra features. Beast Rodeo: Swoop is placed on the back of All In! YEE HAW!! "Of course it's dangerous!" Sit-Com says, still in a John Wayne drawl. "These suckers would as soon tear your leg off as look at you!" Foxfire bats at Impactor's leg. "A pair of *what*?" he counters. He looks to the pony judge and shrugs as best as a quadruped can. "'Course I did. Though it's hard to do when you don't have hands." The ig-yac shakes like a wet dog drying itself off. Beast Rodeo: Swoop is knocked off of All In! "I get along just fine without hands!" the pale blue pony answers defensively. No sympathy for the handless in Utopia Manor! How Steeljaw ended up here, he's not quite certain. But then again, he wasn't quite sure of /anything/ after last night's drinking contest! The only thing that he can be assured of is that he's sober - But has one heck of a headache. Yet he's here, leaning against a pole somewhere and looking a little more bronze than gold. "Why do I let myself get talked into these things?" Foxfire sniffs at the pony. "I'm sure you do..." ...and Swoop is thrown off almost the nanosec he mounts. "Me Swoop think contest is rigged..." He grumps as he lands in the grass. Beastbox vaults the fence and knuckle-runs towards an Igyak. The sound of his fists and feet hitting the ground like thunder. He leaps and flings himself upon the back of Voodoo Child, the metallic, pale golden glitter coated scaley one with tentacles as he hollars a primal war cry. Is he trying to spook these things?! "Eh, you know." Impactor replies, not entirely sure what that terran phrase meant anyways. Beast Rodeo: Beastbox is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac changes direction, jumping backwards! Beast Rodeo: Beastbox manages to stay in control of Voodoo Child for another round! The harness starts to slide to one side of the ig-yac. Beast Rodeo: Beastbox is knocked off of Voodoo Child! Fortress Maximus joins the gathered crowd of participants, "Incredible. I don't think I've ever seen biological animals big enough for Cybertronians to ride, let alone get thrown off." He looks over to Kup and the other Autobots, "I don't suppose any of you here have had an experience with riding a wild beast?" Before Fortress Maximus can get his answer though, he hears his name called and promptly heads over to his assigned beast... Chicken on a Chain. He stares down at the nearly black beast, his optics following the lengthy whiplike tail on the chicken before Galen comments through Fortress Maximus, "Oh... this can't possibly be a chicken." The large Headmaster leader reluctantly mounts his assigned beast. Beast Rodeo: Fortress Maximus is placed on the back of Chicken on a Chain! YEE HAW!! Bucking wildly, the ig-yac comes tromping and stomping across the arena! Beast Rodeo: Fortress Maximus is knocked off of Chicken on a Chain! Sandstorm leans down to give the not quite so golden line a poke with his finger. "Because their here? What more of a reason do you need for it?" Sit-Com takes his turn, peering at the Ig-Yaks critically before selecting one. "Ornery lil cusses, ain't they," he observes, noting that most of the participants so far have been flung rather soon. He picks his ride and crosses himself, hoping for the best. Beast Rodeo: Sit-Com is placed on the back of Boogerbutt! YEE HAW!! Kup calls back to Fortress Maximus, "I've ridden plenty o' wild beasts in my time. Why, I even rode the turuk mak tao, once, weirdo critter that was - didja know that they naturally evolved USB cables, so you can just plug in and control 'em?" Fortress Maximus is taken for a wild ride before he is promptly tossed clear away from the back of the chicken he was riding on. He face first into the ground, throwing up a large cloud of dust in the process, "Ooof!" Barkida did not know that about the turuk mak tao. Beastbox growls aggressively as he at first seems to master the buck of the Igyak, but the joke is on him when Voodoo Child gets his number, and the gorilla is thrown. "YOU STUUUUPIIIID ANIMAAAAAAL!" He lands on his feet and tumbles forward, rolling until his momentum lets up. The dust and a little bit of Igyak manure coats him from the roll bt he doesn't care. He mutters, "I'll get you..." and hops out of the ring. Fortress Maximus climbs back up onto his feet, albit visibly dazed before looking back to over to Kup, "I guess that chicken wasn't as evolved yet, no USB cable in sight. The ride was mighty fierce..." Sandstorm whistles. "Even the big guy got tossed. That's not all that reassuring." Whirl cups his pincers around the bottom of his face and shouts out, "That's the whole point Sandstorm! The harder you fall the more the spectators like it!" A nimble leap carries the ig-yac halfway across the arena. Beast Rodeo: Sit-Com is knocked off of Boogerbutt! Robot Pteranodon perks up as he hears Kup talking about the turuk mak tao. "Ooh, Kup tell more about beasties?" He asks, since he's got nothgin better to do since he was thrown off. Steeljaw urfs, looking a litlte uncertain at Sandstorm. Then back at the beasts, watching the big bot fall off with a frown. "I need to stop hanging out with Wreckers," He mutters, a paw coming to rub at his head, "It's bad for my health." Sit-Com mutters as he's thrown off his ride, "I knew I should have gotten Beast Whisperer lessons from Monstereo." Sandstorm pffffts and rolls his optics at Steeljaw. "Of course we are.. but it's more exciting that way!" Foxfire gets to his feet once it's his turn, and approaches his chosen Igyak. With surprising ability for someone who lacks hands, he climbs onto the beast's back and hangs on. "I feel like a regular cowfox!" Beast Rodeo: Foxfire is placed on the back of Pearl Snap! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac tries to fall on its side to pin the rider. Beast Rodeo: Foxfire is knocked off of Pearl Snap! Impactor strides up to the fence, vaulting over with minimal effort. "Sassa frassin' lame things, why would I wanna be caught dead ridin' one of those things?" the Wrecker leader grumbles aloud, sauntering up to one of the Igyaks. "How I let you fellers talk me inta this.." Without another word, Impactor climbs up and mounts one. "Voodoo Child, eh? Let's see what yer made of!" Impactor shouts, one hand cradled into the harness and the harpoon hand flailing wildly. Beast Rodeo: Impactor is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac slows briefly, rolling eyes, snorting, and looking unimpressed. Beast Rodeo: Impactor is knocked off of Voodoo Child! Kup sits down on a fence and explains to Swoop, "Well, y'see, the whole planet was screwy that way - you could plug inta just about anything - trees, riding beasts, big cats. Anyway... the planet was rich in room temperature superconductors, so a'course the Decepticons wanted to strip mine the whole place. Me and my battalion, we weren't having none of that." Beastbox shakes his head. "YOU'RE ALL DOIN' IT WRONG!" Impactor goes sailing through the air, "Nooooooooooo!" His head lands in a fresh Ig-Yak patty. :(Foxfire is knocked right off, of course. Like Galvatron before, he lands right in a water trough, and immediately freaks out, jumping right out of it and bolting over to Sandstorm to hide behind his leg, dripping wet. "The water tried to kill me!" Voodoo Child struts over, stomping on his head for good measure. Fortress Maximus makes his way back into the crowd before shrugging helplessly at Sandstorm, "I definitely underestimated how big of a kick these things have." He winces as he watches Impactor get knocked off of the beast that the Wrecker leader was riding on and the subsequent head stomping, "Oh... that one sure has a mean streak." Galvatron staggers back to the edge of the corral, sopping wet, but clearly angry and ready for revenge. "You... ridiculous animals think you can best me? ME?! Galvatron? I'll show you..." he growls to no one in particular. Sandstorm peers at Foxfire, then at Steeljaw. "What is it with tapes and water?" Then cracks his knuckle servos, then saunters over to Boogerbutt. Or is it a swagger? It's a bit hard to tell if he's still feeling it from last night or not. "Guess it's up t'me to show 'em how its done!" Or get as equally embarassed. Digging his grip into the slimy hide the daredevil hoists himself up, and with a "YEEEHAH!" jabs his heels into its icky sides to get it going. Beast Rodeo: Sandstorm is placed on the back of Boogerbutt! YEE HAW!! Steeljaw shoots a dirty look at Sandstorm, and just shakes his head a little. "Talk to me again when my head isn't pounding like Blaster did an all night rock party." Though he at least looks a little amused when the Wrecker goes up to take his turn. "Maybe he'll get knocked into the water, too," He nods, sagely, at Foxfire. Robot Pteranodon looks to kup, the dinobot listening intently to the old mech's words, as he wraps his silvery wings around himself. "Ooh... What did Kup and freinds do to protect Supaconductas?" Swoop asks, seeming to have forgotten about the Rodeo for the time being. Some of the audience's cheers cause the ig-yac to lunge at the wall! Beast Rodeo: Sandstorm is knocked off of Boogerbutt! The blue winged pony watches with wide-eyed confusion after participant after participant are thrown immediately. "Oh dear!" she exclaims. "This is /most/ irregular!" Barkida is gratified to see that at least a couple of the robots have decorated themselves in approximations of traditional Cowboy Planet dress. She was worried that her team's research was inaccurate and she would be the only one to show up in this ridiculous gingham get-up. Hitching up her chaps in what she has been assured is the correct and traditional manner, Barkida enters the chute and climbs atop the next in line... the ferocious Chicken on a Chain, as-yet unridden! She cinches the free end of the rope tight around her gloved hand, settles in between a pair of wings (Chicken on a Chain must be a Sky Pony), nods to the chute boss, and the gate flies open! Beast Rodeo: Barkida is placed on the back of Chicken on a Chain! YEE HAW!! Foxfire shakes himself in attempt to get rid of all the drops of water on him. He is clearly aquaphobic, and landing in the trough has frightened him. "Maybe," he replies to Steeljaw. "Ick..." Tossing its head, the ig-yac shoots off in a bouncy gallop. Beast Rodeo: Barkida manages to stay in control of Chicken on a Chain for another round! The ig-yac tries to head-butt one of the rodeo clowns. Beast Rodeo: Barkida is knocked off of Chicken on a Chain! Sandstorm HAHS as the beast thrashes about, the bits of slime knocked off the thing smoldering in little flames as they hit the ground. "Whoo! Now this is how ya ri--AUGH!" Then the beast slams headfirst into one of the guardwalls, sending the Wrecker slipping off and crashing over on the other side. Barkida is staying on! She's staying on! She's going to win! She's- oh, she's flying through the air. Dreadwind watches the event but really couldn't care less about the varying successes and failures of the beast riders, it's just a waste of effort anyway. Then an official starts calling out his name, eventually realising that the gloomy guy standing off to the side on his own is the mechanoid he's looking for. Snippets of the conversation between the two drift through the crowd, something about not having signed up in the first place but still being made to take part and how it's really not worth even trying. Grudgingly Dreadwind heads towards the smelly beasts and picks the pale horse err ig-yak and slumps on its back starting what will no doubt be a very short ride, followed by a painful maiming as it tramples him into the ground, not that anyone will care. Sandstorm calls out a moment later. "I'm okay!" Fumbles a bit as he grabs the top of the wall, then falls back down with a thud as his still slimy hands slip off. "Still okay!" Barkida clambers up over the fence to get away from the rampaging ig-yac and sits atop it, fanning herself with her hat. That's harder than it looks! Beast Rodeo: Dreadwind is placed on the back of All In! YEE HAW!! The harness starts to slide to one side of the ig-yac. Beast Rodeo: Dreadwind manages to stay in control of All In for another round! The ig-yac leaps straight up, slamming back down. Beast Rodeo: Dreadwind is knocked off of All In! Kup gestures animatedly as he recounts, "Well, the Decepticons thought they had the upper-hand, bein' as they were all fancy fliers, but like I said, you could just plug into the native beast to control 'em, and some of them were these big winged critters a bit like you, Swoop, but they weren't as smart!" Read: they were dumber than a Dinobot. "So we tamed some of them flying critters and lured the Decepticons into these strange floating mountains...." And then, it's Steeljaw's turn. He grunts, pushing himself to all fours. He wobbles a little. Just a little. Then starts to walk out towards the field. He eyes the beasts, shrugs, and seems to pick one almost at random to be put up on. He manages it with only a little help, thankfully. How he manages to even get mounted on the beast is anyone's guess. But he manages none the less, clinging to the beast's hide. "How do they say it... Oh yeah, RIDE 'EM COWBOY!" And he's off! Beast Rodeo: Steeljaw is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! Knocking over a few barrels, the ig-yac keeps bucking. Beast Rodeo: Steeljaw is knocked off of Voodoo Child! Impactor slowly rises from the ground, his head immersed in Ig-Yak poo. Shaking it furiously, the Wrecker leader stumbles to the fence and a pair of femme onlookers. "Greetin' ladies, name's Impactor.. Wreckin' and Rulin' is my buisness!" The femmes both scream in shrill like voices, running off. "What's their problem?" Impactor questions, sauntering over by Sandstorm. "Is there somethin' in mah teeth?" Dreadwind's passive riding skills hold out for a while before the beast finally throws the dead weight but doesn't trample him. Eventually he drags himself upright and trudges to safety, "You did that on purpose didn't you..." He remarks at his former mount. Kup shouts at Impactor, "Go dunk yer head in the water trough - you got somethin' on it!" At the end of the round, the blue pony tosses her mane and stamps her hoof. "It would seem that the creatures do not find Utopia Manner quite so calming as most people do!" she observes. That, or they all just hate pink. "Thus, we will have another round. Barkida, Dreadwind, and Beastbox will all be automatically advanced to the next stage, plus the /four/ top riders of this second rou-" and then a pink glow suddenly surrounds the Ig-Yaks and is absorbed by them. The winged pony blinks, startled. "I wonder what /that/ was!" "Try on yer head, boss," Sandstorm replies as he finally gets himself upright.. and blehs. "Good thing I ain't got an actual nose." "Head or face old timer?" Impactor calls to Kup. Steeljaw might be strong for a tape, but that doesn't mean anything on the back of an ig-yac! Try as he might to cling to the thing's hide, he's jostled, tossled, and thrown about. Which just does not go well with a hangover. He's flung off as the beast hits the barrels, and ... At first it looks like he's going to be dunked into one of the water barrels, but he just manages to miss it by an inch. Lucky cat. Not so lucky that he doesn't land in a pile of mud. Or at least hopefully it's mud. Kup shouts back, "The whole thing!" This pale colored ig-yak is covered in black and dark green speckles, but what's most interesting about him are all of his added features. Three sets of black tipped headspikes, a second tail, and seven legs means this ig-yak gives riders and fans alike more for their money. Will he trip over all those extra claws and paws? Or will he athletically jump over the Bar Moon? Goes wide-eyed at the thought of creatures like him; he's not seen too many with forms like his. AndOf course Swoop takes Kup's comment as a complement, he's rather intelligent; for a Dinobot. "Septicons always think they fancy cuase they fly, but Dinobot fly and can kick their afts easily!" Swoop ways, some how with a wide grin on that sharp golden beak of his. "Flying Mountain? Never seen Flying mountain before. Me Swoop thought they were too heavy to fly." Impactor dunks his head in the water trough, coming up and shaking it back and forth vigorously. Do any of the klumps land on anyone?? "Wow, that feels better." Foxfire stands up on his hind legs and puts his paws on the corral fence. "Steeljaw!" he calls. "You okay?" Barkida smiles widely at the news. She gets to advance! With that tall blue thing and the little purple thing. She doffs her hat politely to the blue pony and goes up on top of the chutes to watch the second round from there. Steeljaw rolls out of the mud - thankfully it is just mud - to land on his back. "I would be if the world stopped spinning," The tape mutters woozily. He rolls over, ending up on all fours finally, and sulks all the way back to the outside of the fence. "This means another bath for me, slag it." Rodimus Prime transforms into his Wind Whistler mode. Disgruntled at both his poor performance, and the damage to his once handsome face, Redshift again approaches the sturdy gates barring in the ferocious Igyaks. His expression dark and grim, made all the more imposing by the gaping wound that fills the side of his face, a broken red eye struggling to stay lit inside the remains of his cranium. He scowls, and again approaches the pearly grey and beige mutant Igyak. He eyes Pearl Snap's armor, looking for weaknesses, and finds none... Save the creature's extra JAWS protruding from it's neck. Again, Redshift leaps to mount the beast, and now, instead of avoiding those extra, tooth-filled mouths, he thrusts his hands into them, grabbing the beasts razor-sharp teeth in his bare hands! Trying to turn the Igyak's apparant STRENGTH to his own advantage, using the deadly jaws as hand-holds, even as they chomp and chew upon his hands, Redshift snarling right back in the greusome creature's contorted features. Beast Rodeo: Redshift is placed on the back of Pearl Snap! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac shakes like a wet dog drying itself off. Beast Rodeo: Redshift manages to stay in control of Pearl Snap for another round! The ig-yac slows briefly, rolling eyes, snorting, and looking unimpressed. Beast Rodeo: Redshift is knocked off of Pearl Snap! Fortress Maximus watches as Barkida goes up towards the chutes before looking over to the rest of the Autobots, "Impressive, I wonder if she handles beasts like these on her home planet as well?" He then returns to observing the other competitors. Foxfire shudders at Steeljaw's mention of a bath. Galvatron approaches Bones again, who is giving him a dirty look. "You will learn respect for me, beast! For I am Galvatron the Mighty, ruler of all I survey, and you will yield to me or you will suffer the consequences!" Bones snorts back at him, like he doesn't give a crap. "Insolent animal!" Galvatron screams, hopping onto the Igyak, and giving it several hard kicks as he grasps the reins. "KNEEL TO GALVATRON!" This time, Galvatron thinks he's got it figured out. All he has to do is use his anti-gravity drive to lighten himself, and that will somehow give him the same edge as Beastbox and Barkida... right? Beast Rodeo: Galvatron is placed on the back of Bones! YEE HAW!! With a growl, the ig-yac tries to bite at the rider. Beast Rodeo: Galvatron is knocked off of Bones! Nope, that just made it even easier for Bones to throw Galvatron off, and the tyrant goes *flying* over the horizon. "AHHHHHHhhhhh...." Barkida overhears Fortress Maximus and explains, "These creatures are only slightly more difficult to wrangle than my species' males." Kup explains to Swoop as he stand and circles the corral again, "The mountains were magnetic, see, and that was what kept 'em up in the air. So anyway, having all these rocks flying around made it mighty hard for the Decepticons to really use their wings. We ambushed 'em and harried 'em and hit 'em hard, and eventually, we sent 'em all crashing down to the ground." This time, he uses the chute and murmurs, "Easy there, Gunner boy. Just wanna go for a lil' ride." Beastbox mutters, "I think amputating himself to scare it into submission woulda worked better..." Beast Rodeo: Kup is placed on the back of Say I Won't Gunner! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac jerks to a sudden stop! Beast Rodeo: Kup manages to stay in control of Say I Won't Gunner for another round! Barkida adds, "That's normally a three-person job, of course." The ig-yac tries to fall on its side to pin the rider. Beast Rodeo: Kup is knocked off of Say I Won't Gunner! Redshift's hands becomes mangled and chomped on, reducing his hands to mere /stubs/, and the gouts of flame spat by the beast burn the stumps of his ruined hnds into charred slag. But still, despite the pain, Redshift stays on - Briefly. His broken face contorted, gritting his teeth and trying to keep from screaming, until the beast finally bucks him off, rolling it's eyes at the /audacity/ of someone trying to grip it's extranneous jaws as a hand hold. Swoop jumps up as his body folds and converts into his Pteranodon mode. Kup is viciously pinned by Gunner. Looks like soft words don't work too well! He tries to shove the beast off the top of him, but the thing hammers right back. Finally, Kup gets out from under it, looking rather worse for the wear, and a rodeo clown walks him off to the side. "Ugh." Dreadwind sighs as it finally sinks in that he has to do it all over again. His eternal loneliness eats at him as he stands appart from everyone his only companion his gloom. Not even a single 'well done' or 'that was cool' is even half heartedly muttered in his direction. Swoop continues to listen intently to the rest of the story as Kup enters the corral once mor,e which reminds Swoop that here is a contest going on here, but its just so easy to get lost in Kup's tales of Heroism. "Of course you did, Kup is best!" Swoop replies happily, always wanting to be as much of a hero as Kup was in his younger days. As the story finishes he watches Kup's preformance as he does much better this time. "Showed ig-yak good this time!" He says and transforms once more. "Hopifully Swoop can do better too." He says and approaches All in once more, since all the others were attempting the ones that threw them off. "Easy boy, Swoop just wants to ride. Be good for Swoop. Swoop is friend!" He says and climbs on the beast's back Beast Rodeo: Swoop is placed on the back of All In! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac tries to head-butt one of the rodeo clowns. Beast Rodeo: Swoop is knocked off of All In! Sit-Com boggles as very few riders stay on for even one round. "We got us some tough customers is what we've got," he drawls, as Swoop literally goes flying, and not by choice. Fortress Maximus hears Barkida's explanation and nods grimly, "A three-person job, is it? Hmm, perhaps I should try to approach this from another angle then." Having said that, Fortress Maxmius' head detaches itself and unfolds into Cerebros who continues off where he had left off earlier in Galen's voice, "Perhaps a smaller form and mass would help make us be more agreeable to the beast?" The headless form of Fortress Maximus assists the smaller Autobot onto Chicken on a Chain once again. Cerebros straps in before lightly tapping the side of the black chicken. Apparently, All in isn't Swoop's friend through as he once again goes flying, this tie over the head of a Rodeo Clown that's dressed up like Galvatron, and lands face down in mud. "Swoop no good at Igyak riding..." Beast Rodeo: Fortress Maximus is placed on the back of Chicken on a Chain! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac shakes like a wet dog drying itself off. Beast Rodeo: Fortress Maximus manages to stay in control of Chicken on a Chain for another round! The ig-yac flips end over end to try to dislodge the rider. Beast Rodeo: Fortress Maximus is knocked off of Chicken on a Chain! From Fortress Maximus, Galen transforms into Cerebros' head and is promptly attached to it's body. The Junkion grimaces and tries his luck once more. "Soooo ornery," he moans, trying the gentle route. Maybe it won't work, but maybe it'll work on the right beast. He immediately mounts the beast that just threw Fortress Maximus. Beast Rodeo: Sit-Com is placed on the back of Chicken on a Chain! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac barrel-rolls in mid-jump! Beast Rodeo: Sit-Com is knocked off of Chicken on a Chain! Galen's excited cries can be heard from Cerebros as Chicken on a Chain proves to be just as uncooperative as earlier. The black beast jumps, swings, and eventually a quick turn sends the small Minibot sized Autobot flying... flying... and then straight through the wall in the nearby stall. Ouch. Sandstorm whistles at the barrel-jump. "Didn't know they could do -that- Sit-Com flies headlong and faceplants in the dirt. He spits it out and hopes there's nothing other than dirt in there. "Yeow, I guess he didn't like the smell of my cologne," he mutters. Foxfire approaches Pearl Snap again and peers up at it. "Okay, buddy," he tells the Igyak in a friendly manner, "if you have to throw me, don't do it too hard. I don't want to land in more water." The beast simply snorts in response, and Foxfire climbs back on. Beast Rodeo: Foxfire is placed on the back of Pearl Snap! YEE HAW!! Flash photography from the stands causes the ig-yac to flail about. Beast Rodeo: Foxfire is knocked off of Pearl Snap! Impactor, sogging wet with loose clumps of Ig-Yak dung still speckled on his shoulders, stomps right up to Voodoo Child. "Beast, yer gonna git a lesson in manners!" The Ig-Yak tromps forward, throwing it's chest into the Wrecker leader. "Oh yeah?" Impactor roars back, holding his ground and throwing a shoulder check into the beast. Voodoo Child backs down a little bit, wild look still in it's eyes. Vaulting on top of the Ig-Yak, Impactor swings his right harpooned hand around and into the beast's mouth. With the other arm, he grips the sharp projectile.. allowing Voodoo Child to bite down like a bit. "YEE HAWW!!" the Wrecker shouts, digging his heels into the pastel beast's sides. Beast Rodeo: Impactor is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! There's a mighty bellow from the ig-yac as it thrashes hard to the left. Beast Rodeo: Impactor is knocked off of Voodoo Child! Impactor is sent flying through the air again, minus a harpoon attachment. Voodoo Child might have bit down too hard, severing the connection. Landing on his back, the Wrecker can't help but grimace in pain as energon seeps from his hand stump. Sandstorm finally trots his way back over to his ride, giving the slimy beast one of his half-cocked smirks as he does so. "What, surprised to see me again? It's gonna take more than one throw to get the better of ol' Sandstorm!" The Wrecker clamors onto the back of the slimy, smoldering beast's back a second time, getting as good of a grip as he can in the mucky hide. Beast Rodeo: Sandstorm is placed on the back of Boogerbutt! YEE HAW!! A nimble leap carries the ig-yac halfway across the arena. Beast Rodeo: Sandstorm is knocked off of Boogerbutt! Steeljaw cringes as Foxfire goes for another round on one of the beasts. "We must have completely lost our motherboards." A pause, as he starts to grin a little bit, "... But that was kind of fun." Shaking himself vigorously, he sends motes of mud flying everywhere. Content, he starts back for the arena. He eyes Bones critically, tail flicking a bit from side to side. "Okay beast. You don't like me, and you smell like something Ramhorn would have rolled in. But let's get this over with." Once on the beast's back, the mud flecked feline grabs ahold with his claws. But this time, he grabs a bit of mane, or whatever he can in his jaws, latching on best he can as the beast gets going. Beast Rodeo: Steeljaw is placed on the back of Bones! YEE HAW!! Some of the audience's cheers cause the ig-yac to lunge at the wall! Beast Rodeo: Steeljaw is knocked off of Bones!
* WHUD* And a few moments later is sprawled against a wall upside down, sliding down exceptionally slow because of icky gunk. ".. Two might do it though.." Wind Whistler stamps her right hoof in irritation. "This has gotten /beyond/ silly!" she protests, tone more faintly irritated than out and out angry. "Well! It seems that we still need one more to advance! Redshift, Kup, and Fortress Maximus, you may sit out this round. You will all three will advance to the next phase! Everyone else... you have one more try!" Even the might of Steeljaw's jaws can't do battle with these things. He only manages a few more seconds before he's thrown up and off. ... And lands with a THUNK on one of the rafters. "... I do not like Igyaks." Pearl Snap bucks, and throws Foxfire right off! Though this time, thankfully, he doesn't land in a trough. Swoop says, "Igyaks mean, and ugly too!" Swoop adds to Steeljaw's dislike of the things." Redshift, despite his severe injuries, watches intently from the sidelines. His damages eye barely stays lit, but still, his gaze wathes the action going on in the rodeo's confines. Tough compeditors fail, and some succeed, to join Redshift in the next round. "The Igyaks are definatly more ferocious this year. Perhaps we should've riddne something a bit less viciouss..." He muses, eyeing the blue, fluttering Wind Whistler. Still,where before he was first exhuberant, then downright disgruntled, now he is calm, collected, and focussed, as he waits for the last chance for someone to join the second tier of competition. Kup wisecracks to Fortress Maximus, "Looks like usin' yer head did it for you!" He's also sidelined. While he's intact, unlike the handless Redshift, he's definitely beat up. Dreadwind sighs looks up at the sunny blue skies and then the worst thing happens he starts to talk to anyone that cares to listen, "Great we have to spend even more time out here in these harsh conditions while we wait to be detroyed by the beasts that we are forced to ride." Galvatron eventually flies right back at Bones, face twitching madly! "YOU DARE TO THROW ME!?!? YOU DARE!?!? I'LL SHOW YOU! None can withstand GALVATRON! NOOOONNNNNE!" And like he's possessed by a demon, he digs his fingers into the sides of the Igyak's head, and it squeels in protest. Can Galvatron's cruel grip see him through, or will he just enrage his mount even more? Beast Rodeo: Galvatron is placed on the back of Bones! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac barrel-rolls in mid-jump! Beast Rodeo: Galvatron is knocked off of Bones! Beastbox says, "Yoo khan doeet!" Barkida looks skeptical. Beastbox stops. "I hate it when I'm wrong. A group of stable staffs hurries into the stall that Cerebros was thrown into and helps the small Autobot over to the large headless Headmaster leader. Galen's dazed voice can be heard from Cerebros as he replies to Kup, "Ooof, I guess me and Maximus can't complain about the results." The Minibot-sized Autobot rubs the back of its head, "Good thing that stall was made of wood." Sandstorm takes a bit of work to finally extract himself off the wall, and shakes some of the gunk off. Hmm. It seems to stick to anything -but- the ig-yac itself. Shoots a dirty look in the direction of Boogerface. Galvatron is flung right into the dirt by barrel roll, and Bones jumps up and down on the fallen tyrant before he rises up, screaming in anger. Spinning around, he decks the beast as hard as he can, and it certainly rattles Bones, but to Galvatron's alarm, it doesn't knock him out. "What are you!?" Galvatron shrieks, laying into Bones, but Bones starts laying into him just as hard. It's pretty brutal Swoop stands up, and rotates his neck, working a few burrs out of it. He decides not to go for All in this time. That beast is too mean. Swoop just wanted to make friends and it throws him. He decides to try the one Kup rode. That one seemed more even temptered. One more into the breach, he leaps back into the corral and walks over to the gun-legged beast. "Easy boy, Just want to be friends. You good beasties, aren't you?" He asks, hopign being nice to it will improve his chances as he carefully climbs on. Beast Rodeo: Swoop is placed on the back of Say I Won't Gunner! YEE HAW!! Knocking over a few barrels, the ig-yac keeps bucking. Beast Rodeo: Swoop is knocked off of Say I Won't Gunner! The Junkion gives a start. "What, not the full quota yet? Ok, one more time..." Beast Rodeo: Sit-Com is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! Swoop is yet again thrown off the stupid igyak. "That it. Me hate igyaks. They no nice to Swoop." He says as he transforms while in midair and flies down safely. A nimble leap carries the ig-yac halfway across the arena. Beast Rodeo: Sit-Com is knocked off of Voodoo Child! With a fearsome shriek, Swoops body unfolds and converts into his robot mode. Sit-Com is debeasted once again. He gets up and moans. "Ooooh, I'm getting Deja Vu all over again." Galvatron and the Igyak Bones are eventually pulled away from each other by a small army of rodeo clowns, and though Bones is pretty bloodied, Galvatron may have come out of that brawl worse off! "This... this isn't over, you animal!" Galvatron screams over the small army of rodeo clowns leading him away, shaking a scarred fist covered in his fuel. "I'll get you!!!" Foxfire has scurried back to the edge of the corral by this time. He frowns as he watches Galvatron, but then he pads back over to Pearl Snap, giving the Igyak a glare. "Okay, pal," he states firmly. "You don't like me, and I don't like you. But I aim to tame you." He climbs on once more. Beast Rodeo: Foxfire is placed on the back of Pearl Snap! YEE HAW!! Flash photography from the stands causes the ig-yac to flail about. Beast Rodeo: Foxfire is knocked off of Pearl Snap! Impactor collects himself yet again, marching over to Voodoo Child. "Okay, lissen up. Yer a friggin' pain in tha afterburners, but so am I. Let's get this over with without ANYMORE problems, kapiche?" Without waiting for a response, Impactor saddles up and gets ready to get bucked! Beast Rodeo: Impactor is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! Doing ferrets proud, the ig-yac bounces sideways, hard, several times in a row. Beast Rodeo: Impactor manages to stay in control of Voodoo Child for another round! The ig-yac leaps straight up, slamming back down. Beast Rodeo: Impactor is knocked off of Voodoo Child! Dreadwind shakes his head at the continuing failure, "See this is what happens when you try..." Foxfire is knocked off the Igyak for a third time. He lands hard on his back, and rolls out of the way just in time to avoid being potentially crushed by the beast. He darts back to the corral fence and scrambles under it to the other side. "Blast it all!" Sandstorm considers that for a moment more, and stops trying to rub the slime off. Maybe it'll stick to itself. Oh well, at this point its worth a shot still, so he hoists back onto the dripping deamonic thing's backside once more. He's probably as slimy as Boogerbutt is by this point. Maybe it'll cohere together and hold him on? Beast Rodeo: Sandstorm is placed on the back of Boogerbutt! YEE HAW!! Impactor manages to stay on Voodoo Child another round, "Hey, it worked! Mebbe yellin' and kickin' peoples aren't tha way ta motivate 'em!" And he spoke too soon, as the Ig-Yak throws him to the ground again. Sit-Com takes a seat to watch the rest of the competitors. Twirling his grass-head idly. The ig-yac tries to fall on its side to pin the rider. Beast Rodeo: Sandstorm is knocked off of Boogerbutt! Finally, Steeljaw manages to make it off of the rafters with a couple of lunges. On the plus side, being knocked around a bit has knocked him out of his hangover. He lands heavily in the arena floor again, eyeing the nearest Igyak. "This is almost getting ridiculous," He mutters, claws burying into the ground. Fine, the nice way didn't work. Now for the nasty way! "This'll probably hurt me more than it hurts you..." Steeljaw crouches down closer to the ground briefly. And practically pounces on top of Chicken On a Chain's back. ... And it totally backfires as Sandstorm is too stuck on so when the thing rolls over, he -can't- fall off. "Ah shi--" *THWOMP* Beast Rodeo: Steeljaw is placed on the back of Chicken on a Chain! YEE HAW!! Flash photography from the stands causes the ig-yac to flail about. Beast Rodeo: Steeljaw is knocked off of Chicken on a Chain! ... And then Steeljaw is promptly kicked off, the other way. He ends up head first in a hay barrel on the other side of the arena. Wind Whistler actually does show a (*GASP*) emotion as Impactor manags to stay on a round! "WONDERFUL!" she exclaims, hopping from right hooves to left. Then she /realizes/ how silly she's being and stands straight and clears her throat, then coughs. "I mean, very good. We are now ready to advance to the next phase. Participants this time will be Redshift, Kup, Beastbox, Fortress Maximus, Impactor, Barkida, and Dreadwind. The top /three/ will move onto the final round." Then she mutters, sighing, "Let's just hope there /are/ three, shall w-" and then the pink light covers the beasts again, causing Wind Whistler to frown. "I /do/ wish I knew what was causing that!" Sandstorm manages to eventually claw his way out, once the beast has pinked away for a moment and before it returns to normal. "Ah well. Gave it the Wrecker try at least." He trudges over to one of the water troughs to wash the slime off of himself. The second round, with only serious Igyak riders. Apparantly. Some surprises abound, such as Beastbox progressing while Galvatron could not, but Redshift is confidant he can stick it out, given his previous experience with the beasts in other years. This year, they seem more vicious thanever before, but even with half a face and his fingers chewed off, he is still ready to compete. As his turn arrives yet again, the sparkled-but-mangled Decepticons proudly approaches his nemesis, the irridescent Pearl Snap, once again, as the beast is engulfed in a pink glow. Redshift glares at the creature for a moment, then suddenly leaps into the air, pirourettess, and tries to land on the beast yet again! Beast Rodeo: Redshift is placed on the back of Pearl Snap! YEE HAW!! The bucking ig-yac slips on some unidentified substance. Beast Rodeo: Redshift is knocked off of Pearl Snap! Kup decides to go another round with Gunner. Why break a streak of unbridled brutality now? He grins down at the beast as he gets into the chute, saying, "You've hammered me pretty hard, bucko, but make no mistake - one false move and you'll /be/ steak. Bet that Femaxian gal there could go for some barbeque once this event's over." Beast Rodeo: Kup is placed on the back of Say I Won't Gunner! YEE HAW!! Beast Rodeo: You are in the for ride of your life! After each pose, use the +beast/stayon command to attempt to stay in control of your beastie. Hang on for as many turns as you can! The ig-yac shakes like a wet dog drying itself off. Beast Rodeo: Kup is knocked off of Say I Won't Gunner! Cerebros adjusts his helm carefully, "Let's hope this time around our landings would be less painful." He watches as Sandstorm and Steeljaw gets subsequently thrown off, and winces in response, "...I don't think a helmet is enough protection!" Kup is flung into the stands, and he lands, rolling down the steps. "Slaggit!" Beastbox stretches his limbs while he waits for his turn, keeping his servos limber and his energon flowing. When the rider before him is inevitably thrown, Beastbox wastes no time in vaulting the fence once more. This time he knuckle-trots towards Voodoo Child, makes a dash underneath the beast, and then leap-mounts from the opposite side. Still zero respect for the creatures nerves. As soon as he is atop, he grasps hold and roars, "GO!" Will he stand up next to this mountain and chop it down with the edge of his hand? Beast Rodeo: Beastbox is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! The harness starts to slide to one side of the ig-yac. Beast Rodeo: Beastbox is knocked off of Voodoo Child! Redshift is quickly and uncerimoniously dismounted from Pearl Snap, landing hard on the ground after the creature slips in something with the consistency of cat vomit. Going first does not seem to be very lucky! Cerebros straightens himself up as he's called up and cautiously approaches Chicken on a Chain once more. "Here goes nothing!" Throwing caution into the winds, Cerebros leaps onto the back of the Ig-yak and taps the side of the wild beast! Robot Pteranodon wonders if Steeljaw got sick after his last ride... Beast Rodeo: Fortress Maximus is placed on the back of Chicken on a Chain! YEE HAW!! The ig-yac changes direction, jumping backwards! Beast Rodeo: Fortress Maximus is knocked off of Chicken on a Chain! Voodoo Child takes no guff from Beastbox this time, putting a most powerful buck with a spinal twist thrown in immediately. Beastbox is bounced and soars at an odd angle until his back slams into the pen fence. He drops like a stone after the crack of impact. He growls. "You dirty mutha..." He removes himself from the ring, vaulting back out. "I made it, YEAH!" Impactor exclaims, jogging up to the fence and grimacing when Redshift eats a dirt sandwhich. "Heh, guess he'll be BLUEshift tonight!" he chuckles, looking around for Sandstorm. Applying a makeshift wound dressing to the stump, the Wrecker leader jumps over the fence and pads back up to Voodoo Child after it's bucked Beastbox off. "Now see, that was some good ridin' last time. Let's keep with tha program now." Impactor whispers into the Ig-Yak's ear, before jumping on it's back again. Beast Rodeo: Impactor is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! Suddenly, the ig-yac snorts out a cloud of fire and smoke! Beast Rodeo: Impactor is knocked off of Voodoo Child! Barkida rosins up her glove and picks an ig-yak that seems to have a lot of traction; Voodoo Child, of the golden glitter and the writhing tentacles! How did they get him back into the chute so quickly? (the answer is waffles) She eases onto the rugose and etoliated beast and gets herself situated, although the chute crew have to shove Voodoo Child away from the side of the chute with a pole so that he'll stop pinning Barkida's left leg. The eldritch tentacles are frisky, but Barkida will just have to put up with them. She hopes that they might actually help her ride, if they decide to hold onto her. On the other hand they might drag her off the side. The chute slams open and off she goes! Beast Rodeo: Barkida is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! The harness starts to slide to one side of the ig-yac. Beast Rodeo: Barkida is knocked off of Voodoo Child! It doesn't work. The tentacles grab Barkida and yank her off Voodoo Child's back, then throw her into the stands. Dreadwind's name is called for the second round and this time an official is not required to find just where he's got to as he trudges through the crowds on the way to his inevitable failure. It almost looks like one spectator is about to pat him on the shoulder for encouragement but at the last second seems to be overcome with apathy. Dreadwind picks out the dull gray and beige beast and mounts it, no doubt two of its three mouths will be chomping down on him before long, but at least this will all be over, at last. Beast Rodeo: Dreadwind is placed on the back of Pearl Snap! YEE HAW!! The bucking ig-yac slips on some unidentified substance. Beast Rodeo: Dreadwind manages to stay in control of Pearl Snap for another round! Knocking over a few barrels, the ig-yac keeps bucking. Beast Rodeo: Dreadwind is knocked off of Pearl Snap! Dreadwind is eventually thrown to the ground and rolls like a broken rag doll eliciting gasps from the crowd as it looks rather painful and then to top it off the ig-yak starts to chew on his leg. However it quickly gives up as it starts dragging it's tongue on the ground apparently gloom is an acquired taste. Whether Cerebros might have had planned, Chicken on a Chain refuses to have any part to do with it. The Ig-yak jumps backward mid motion and throws the small Autobot off and head first into a water bucket. Wind Whistler lowers her head and sighs. "Only /one/ this time? Redshift, Kup, Beastbox, Fortress Maximus, Impactor, and Barkida? Try again. Dreadwind will advanced to the finals." Foxfire waves his front paws from the sidelines, like a cheerleader with pompoms. "Go Kup! Go Impactor! Go Fort Max!" The water bucket flips over and Cerebros crawls out more frustrated than pained, "Is it me, or are we ending up in more worst locations each time we're thrown off?" He makes his way back to the crowd and sits down. Redshift has a few more dents and scrapes to show for his efforts, and it seems that lacking one's /fingers/ is not a good approach to tryig to ride a bucking beast that would rather eat you than let it ride you. Maybe Kup's longwinded story had some merit, afterall. If only there was some way to control the monsters! Still, it seems Redshift's earlier failure doesn't leave him out of the competition, and he still has a chance to earn a medal. Letting the beast snack of his digits worked well before, and this time, as Redshift clambers upon the back of his chosen beast, he again tries to feed himself to the Igyak's accessory mouths, shoving the stump of his arm down the creature's smoldering throat. "AUUUGH! EAT ME mutant FREAK, EAT ME!" Beast Rodeo: Redshift is placed on the back of Pearl Snap! YEE HAW!! Some of the audience's cheers cause the ig-yac to lunge at the wall! Beast Rodeo: Redshift is knocked off of Pearl Snap! ".. That boy just ain't right," Sandstorm murmurs at Redshift's antics from the sidelines where he's cleaning up. Kup remarks, "I guess it's back in the saddle again for me!" He manages look upbeat about the fact that he is going to put himself on a murderous cyborg pseudobovinisaur that has tried to kill him repeatedly. Yeah, that's probably where Hot Rod got that reckless streak from, right there. He grins over at the little fox cheerleader. Kup makes a face over Redshift's riding tactics and says, "...that's just wrong." Quickly trying to put all memory of that nonsense out of his head, he heads to Gunner's chute, to resume his hate/hate affair with the resplendent beast. Beast Rodeo: Kup is placed on the back of Say I Won't Gunner! YEE HAW!! Beast Rodeo: You are in the for ride of your life! After each pose, use the +beast/stayon command to attempt to stay in control of your beastie. Hang on for as many turns as you can! With a growl, the ig-yac tries to bite at the rider. Beast Rodeo: Kup is knocked off of Say I Won't Gunner! Robot Pteranodon says, "Me think Me jinxed Kup. Me try riding that one, now Kup can't stay on..."" Hate. Yeah, it's definitely hate, as Gunner knocks Kup off and chomps off Kup's leg from the knee down. He swears up and down, "Rassafrassing good-for-nothing bolts-for-brains cyberdonkey!" as the rodeo clowns drag him away. Beastbox turns his no-neck head and cracks the sand-gooped oil loose. Another go at showing this filthy animal who's bad? Good. The newest Decepticon Cassetter sommersaults through the lower rungs of the pen fence rather than vaulting over the top this time just to be unpredictable, and points at Voodoo Child, points two fingers at his own optics, then points at the tentacled Igyac again. "You answer to me." He goes into a knuckle-run, double slaps the ground to bounce himself into the air and lands on Voodoo Child's back again who's tentacles writhe and whip at the oncomming Tape in anticipation of teaching the little annoying gnat a lesson. Beastbox is determined to feel this creature's aggression out and anticipate it's wild moves while wearing it down in order to get the better of it. Experience for when he'll have to rough up some Autobot prisoner for answers. Beast Rodeo: Beastbox is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! Kicking up clods of dirt, the ig-yac leaps back and forth between front and back paws. Beast Rodeo: Beastbox is knocked off of Voodoo Child! Foxfire just...stares at Redshift. "Remind me to stay away from him," he says to no one in particular. Steeljaw finally tugged his head out of the bail of hat that he got stuck in, and slinks his way back towards the spectators box. He huffs a little, eyeing Redshift. "Crazy decepticons." Though, the autobots weren't much better since they're still trying. The headless form of Fortress Maximus kneels down and holds up Cerebros, allowing the Minibot-sized Autobot to transform back into his facial vestige and promptly attaching it back onto his neck. Venting a sigh, no doubt due to Galen's influence, Fortress Maximus says, "I don't think Galen can stand go for another round of that." He looks over to Sandstorm and nods in agreement in regards to Redshift, "No doubt induced by stress. Well, looks like my turn again." Fortress Maximus proceeds over to Chicken on a Chain once more and, with some look of reluctance, cautiously mounts the Ig-yak once more. Beast Rodeo: Fortress Maximus is placed on the back of Chicken on a Chain! YEE HAW!! Robot Pteranodon watches the continued failure. "Me think Igyak need to be put down, and next year get nicer animals to ride." The ig-yac slows briefly, rolling eyes, snorting, and looking unimpressed. Beast Rodeo: Fortress Maximus is knocked off of Chicken on a Chain! But determination just don't fly with these bad cattle. Voodoo Child tentacle whips Beastbox in the face and then bucks its back almost right after, sending the ape-robot a tumbling like the tumblin' tumble weed. Beastbox manages to at least kick in his antigravs this time before crashing and flies back over the fence. "One last blast, eh? Screw it." Impactor groans, getting to his feet and over to the mount again. "No more pep talks ya dirty beast, it's time you accepted yer role in this play! Now, no more funny buisness!!" Beast Rodeo: Impactor is placed on the back of Voodoo Child! YEE HAW!! The harness starts to slide to one side of the ig-yac. Beast Rodeo: Impactor is knocked off of Voodoo Child! Barkida decides not to mess with that tentacle one again. She suspects it tried to snu-snu her, not to mention the inglorious dismount. But if she could tame the beast that bested the Dark Machine Lord... that would be something for the skalds to sing of! Barkida dusts off her hat, settles it firmly on her head, and goes to meet Bones, spurs jingling and waffle in hand. Redshift's desperation to win doesn't pay off, and instead he merely recieves a mangled arm in addition to his other injuries, the pearl-backed Igyak throwing Redshift off mercilessly. Redshift struggles to regain his balance, and limps off, tenderly cradling his mangled limb and scowling like a thunderstorm. Beast Rodeo: Barkida is placed on the back of Bones! YEE HAW!! Bucking wildly, the ig-yac comes tromping and stomping across the arena! Beast Rodeo: Barkida is knocked off of Bones! The waffle didn't work! Fortress Maximus watches as his Ig-yac slows down, unwilling to move further. Feeling the sting of rejection, Fortress Maximus dismounts from Chicken on a Chain with a sad expression on his face. Dawwww.... Dreadwind has disconnected. Combat: Kup compares his Courage to 60: Failure :(Combat: Barkida compares her Courage to 60: Success! Kup falls flat on his face again. This is not his day to ride them buckin' broncos! Combat: Beastbox compares his Courage to 60: Failure :(Redshift still has a chance to face the fearsome creature, perhaps for the final time. The broken and damaged spacer aprahces the aptly named Pearl Snap once more, facing his fears and riding the terrible beast once more. Combat: Redshift compares his Courage to 60: Success! Combat: Impactor compares his Courage to 60: Success! Fortress Maximus is taken for a wild ride by Chicken on a Stick as the Ig-yck swings round and round and rooooound. Somehow the Headmaster leader manages to cling on, but how long can that possibly last?! Impactor jumps back onto the Ig-Yak, and despite the beast's bucking.. manages to stay on. "Hey, lookit Storm!" Barkida manages to stay on Bones this time! It took more than one waffle, that was the secret! Wind Whistler stamps her hooves impatiently as the Ig-Yaks prove themselves to be even more ill-tempered than expected. "I /do/ wonder what's wrong with them!" she wonders. Then she actually jumps as enough participants stay on to advance... and then some! "Redshift, Fortress Maximus, Impactor, Barkida, and Dreadwind. You /five/ will be moving onto the final round!" Beastbox makes his approach, thunderous knuckle-running and leaping. This time he barely touches the back of Voodoo Child when the Igyak just uses it's tentacles to slap him away. Beastbox hits the ground with a THUMP and his shoulder joint comes dislocated. He clutches his other fist while his damaged arm hangs limp and useless. The ape is beaten out of the competition, and he part knuckle-walks, part knuckle-drags out of the pen. Despite his greivious wounds, Redshift manages to stay on for longer, wrapping his less-damaged arm around Pearl Snap's neck, trying now to avoid the snapping jaws that try to devour him further. He is bucked, but as the competition heats up, the speedster leaps back upon the back of the opalescent creature, gripping it's armoured flanks with his legs and doing his best to stay on, swinging his hips as the beast bucks and rolls, working with it's wild movements. Combat: Redshift compares his Courage to 65: Failure :(Barkida circles around behind the chutes and gets ready to ride again! This is tiring! Are the robots tired? Can they even get tired? Maybe she'd better try not to look it lest they laugh at her. She takes her hat off and mops the sweat off her forehead with a neckerchief, then gets ready to get back on Chicken On A Chain for the final round. Combat: Barkida compares her Courage to 65: Success! Voodoo Child bucks relentlessly, but Impactor is set on keeping atop the beast this time. "Nuh uh, not this time Voodoo.. I've got yer number!" Stump hand be damned! Combat: Impactor compares his Courage to 65: Success! Fortress Maximus watches as the Ig-yck he had been using all along is riden away by Barkida. Daaaaaw, nothing like getting left behind in the dust. Deep down inside, Fortress Maximus is crying. Maybe. The large Headmaster leader looks around for another available Ig-yck before spotting Bones. He quickly mounts the Ig-yck without delay, riding the beast out into the arena when all of the sudden Bones starts spinning like crazy, in an effort to throw Fortress Maximus off. Combat: Fortress Maximus compares his Courage to 65: Success! Dreadwind couldn't be more unhappy if he tried, once again he somehow manages to remain on his chosen mount, for a time and advances straight to the finals while everyone else gets to be battered and thrown some more. At this rate he's going to win the competition and get even more people that hate despise him for a success he didn't even want to start with. It's all the fault of whoever signed him up for this event as a prank, it was probably Darkwing. Dreadwind is the least battered remaining contestant seeing as he's been thrown the minimum amount of times, not that he takes any heart from that as he picks out his next mount, hopefully it'll be terrible enough to finish this thing finally. Combat: Dreadwind compares his Courage to 65: Failure :(Wind Whistler seems to have finally calmed herself back down. "Redshift and Dreadwind are thrown almost immediately, taking the Decepticons out of the match, but Fortress Maximus, Impactor, and Barkida remains mounted. All three will be receiving medals; it only remains to be seen which one gets which!" Dreadwind is thrown high and slams hard into the ground as the beast merrily stomps on Dreadwind eventually they manage to get the ig-yak off of him but he doesn't move, though a single word can be heard, "Typical." as he is dragged to the side of the arena. Sit-Com jawdrops. "What, did they give those beasts an extra dose of 'roids this year?" he wonders, "I demand a drug test!" Barkida rides Chicken on a Chain around the corral, spurring him on with her hat in her hand! He responds to the spurring by leaping and twisting, springing into the air. His buffalo wings start flapping furiously and to Barkida's surprise he actually takes off, lifting off the ground and soaring into the air over the event. Rainbows are shooting out all over. Oh no, he's heading right for that glittering star hanging in midair! Combat: Barkida compares her Courage to 70: Failure :(Voodoo Child kicks it up another notch, rear legs bucking tremendously as the Wrecker leader stays on. "Fraggin' beast.. not gonna happen this time!" Impactor shouts out, wrapping his stump arm around the Ig-Yak's throat and clinging on for dear life! Combat: Impactor compares his Courage to 70: Success! Barkida catches a star to the face and falls into a trough as Chicken On A Chain flaps away to the sound of Erasure. Fortress Maximus is rocked back and forth wildly by Bones, "This beast doesn't get tired at all!" The world continues to spin around Fortress Maximus as he grits his teeth and grimaces while attempting to maintain his grip. Bones howls with anger as he steps up the pace even further, subjecting the Headmaster leader to even more inertia than before! Combat: Fortress Maximus compares his Courage to 70: Success! Wind Whistler stamps her right front hoof once, then twice, then shakes her head. "And Barkida is thrown, bringing in a bronze, and... I believe the second medal for the Femaxians this Olympics? In a game usually dominated by the Cybertronians, that's /quite/ impressive. Meanwhile, Fortress Maximus and Impactor remain mounted as the Wrecker Leader and the Headmaster Commander face off for gold." Barkida spits out glitter onto the ground as she shakes off the assistance of the rodeo clowns and climbs out of the trough. Still, she looks in high spirits. She's never even SEEN these animals before. "Thank you, Horse-Woman." "While I normally don't count tha eggs fore they hatch, congrats Maximus!" Impactor calls out, his vocal processors jumbled from Voodoo Child's incessant bucking. Rounding in a semi-circle, the Ig-Yak dips low and tries to deposit Impactor into the dirt. Combat: Impactor compares his Courage to 75: Success! Fortress Maximus looks up as he is being spun around on top of the Ig-yck. Strange. He could've sworn he just saw Foxfire spinning into view a second ago. Oh hey, there he is again! Yep, Bones is apparently only getting started as the beast picks up even more centrifugals force in an attempt to throw Fortress Maximus clear off his back! Combat: Fortress Maximus compares his Courage to 75: Success! Wind Whistler dips her head towards Barkida with a smile. "You're /quite/ welcome." Keeping in the circular path, Voodoo Child picks up the speed to dizzy it's rider. "Oh gah, seein' stars now.. how you holdin' up Maximus?" Impactor idly chatters, trying to calm his nerves in the face of defeat. Voodoo Child rears back and kicks with it's front legs, attempting to ditch the bum in the dirt again. Combat: Impactor compares his Courage to 80: Failure :(It dawns upon Bones that his irritating passenger just might be as stubborn as he is and in a stunning display of cunning, the beast decides to spin in another direction! Fortress Maximus feels the sharp change in direction but can't help but be a pawn of physics as inertia continues to carry him in the direction he had been going all along, "I'm doing ok... whoooa, but Galen isn't! I don't think I can hol--- whoaa!" Combat: Fortress Maximus compares his Courage to 80: Success! Wind Whistler hops a little, thin smiles. "Congratulations! Fortress Maximus takes gold, leaving Impactor with silver! Very good job, all of you!" "Congratulations, Galen," Barkida says generously to the big cyborg. "A triumph!" Wind Whistler looks over at the Ig-Yaks and sighs, then lowers her head and mutters, "But I suppose we really should get those things tested." Impactor is deposited on the ground, Voodoo Child tromps around the Wrecker in a circle.. gloating in his face about his 'dismount'. "Yeah yeah, eat it up you overgrown turbo-turkey!" Robot Pteranodon says, "Me Swoop still say the should be put down. Swoop thinks could mmake very good steaks." The dinobot replies, still upset that he couldn't even stay on one round." Dreadwind lies where he was dragged to after finally being thrown from the competition, he hears the cheers and friendly calls to the victors and wonders just what it's like to be on the end of those vicious barbs, not that anyone will ever cheer for him. Fortress Maximus lets go, with great relief, as soon as he hears Wind Whistler announce the conclusion to the event and he is promptly thrown to the ground as well. Bones snorts in annoyance but eventually trods away as it's satisfied that it had finally gotten rid of his irritating passenger. "Ooof!" Fortress Maxmius groans out as he slowly picks himself up from the ground and looks over to Impactor, "I'm not sure how we've managed to hold on for this long." He raises himself up onto both feet before Galen takes over control and does a Nebulan salute with Fortress Maximus' body in response to Barkida, "Thank you, Barkida! You've also done Femax proud with your own triumph here today. Oh it was a thrill competing with you." "Congratulations, you're winners," Sit-Com drawls to the medalists, "Happy trails to ya. Ever thought of getting into the Igyak business?" Fusillade vanishes out of reality. Fusillade has left. Rodimus Prime vanishes out of reality. Rodimus Prime has left. "I look forward to seeing you in the ring of honor!" Barkida replies warmly, before returning to where she tied up her spinehound to ride back to the Femaxian delegation's tent. Barkida has disconnected. Redshift has disconnected. Dreadwind moves to the Volcano of Sorrow. Dreadwind has left. Swoop vanishes out of reality. Swoop has left. Impactor vanishes out of reality. Impactor has left. Fortress Maximus takes flight to the Rainbow Gateway. Fortress Maximus has left. Fortress Maximus arrives from the Rainbow Gateway. Fortress Maximus has arrived. Gold: Fortress Maximus Silver: Impactor Bronze: Barkida
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