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| - Rigby: (Laughing) Dude! I'm open, I'm open, dude! Mordecai: (Snickers) Go long, dude! Rigby: Touchdown, sock faces! Benson: Hey, you two! Quit fooling around; we're having an emergency meeting. Mordecai: Aw, what? Rigby: Boooo! Benson: (Signals to the door) Outside, now! (He leaves as Mordecai and Rigby watch. A Clock transition to outside Skips's place occuer. All the park workers are standing outside.) Benson: Alright, everyone. I got some bad news. The park is being audited. (Points to Pops) Pops tried to pay the park taxes... (Gives him a look) ...with lollipops. Pops: But I gave them more than enough! Benson: We already went over this, Pops. You pay taxes with money, not lollipops. Pops: (Sad) Oh. Rigby: (Spits) What's the big deal? It's not like an audit is a bad thing. Benson: It is a bad thing, Rigby. If we don't take care of this, the government takes our stuff away! Benson (continued): Okay, we only have till three to stop the audit. Benson (continued): Does anyone know someone who can help us? Anybody? Anybody at all? Muscle Man: (Raises hand) I know someone who can help. Benson: If you say your mom, you're fired! Muscle Man: (Long pause) MY MOM! Benson: GET OUT! Muscle Man: It was worth it! Mordecai: (Thinks) Hmmm... Hmph. Hey! (Looks at Rigby) We know someone! Rigby: We do? Rigby (continued): No! No way! Benson: What?! If you know somebody, you've got to tell me. Mordecai: Rigby has a brother. (Rigby punches Mordecai.) And he's an accountant. (Rigby punches Mordecai rapidly.) Rigby: Shut up! Mordecai: Dude, what do you have against Don? (Rigby gets mad, on the verge of crying. A ripple leads us to a flashback of Rigby's sixth birthday party. We pan down from the banner to a young Rigby.) Young Rigby: Guys! Guys! Guys! Young Rigby (continued): Watch me blow out the candles, guys! Young Don: Hey, Rigby! Happy birthday, bro! Young Rigby: Wha?! Wha?! I told you to stay in the basement! Young Don: Oh! Sorry, Rigby. I just wanted to give you some birthday sugar. Young Rigby: I don't want your freakin' sugar! Rigby Friend 1: I'll give you some sugar, Don. Rigby Friend 2: Yeah, me too! Young Rigby: Don't you dare! Young Mordecai: I'm just getting some sugar, dude! (Rigby lets go of him.) Besides, Don is cool. Rigby Friend: You're the best, Don! (Young Rigby growls as we ripple back to present day.) Mordecai: Yeah. Don really made that party. Benson: Call your brother! Rigby: No! Rigby: No! I hate him! Benson: Fine. (To Mordecai) Mordecai, you call him. Rigby: You better not! Mordecai: Dude, he could save the park! Rigby: Dude, he could ruin my life! If he comes, I'm gonna tell him to leave! Benson: (Walks up to Rigby) No, you won't! You be nice to your brother or you're FIRED! (To Mordecai) Call him. (He walks off.) Mordecai: (Pats Rigby) Dude, just be cool until he stops the audit. (Rigby growls.) (Scene shows the park workers outside waiting for Don.) Rigby: You guys are making a big mistake! Benson: Don't ruin this for us, Rigby. (We see Don drive up in his convertible.) Benson: Really nice car. Pops: He looks just like Rigby! Don: (Gets out of his car) Did somebody order an accountant? (Everybody laughs except Rigby.) Benson: Thank you so much for coming on such short notice. I'm Benson. Don: Benson! Give me some sugar. (Hugs Benson) Nice to meet you. Hey, who's this guy? Pops: I'm Pops. Don: Pops! Give me some sugar. (Pops runs over laughing and gives Don a big hug.) Don: Don. Good to meet ya. (Don hugs Skips.) Don: Look at this sugar shack. Come here, guy (Gives Mordecai a hug) I haven't seen you in forever. Mordecai: (Chuckles) Yeah, I know! Oh, it's been forever. Don: Rigby! Give me some sugar, bro. Rigby: Don't you have taxis to do? Why don't you get to it? Don: (Chuckles) Oh! He was always greedy with the sugar. Rigby: Augh! I can't wait for you to get out of my life! Don: What, bro? Benson: (Whispers in anger to Rigby) You keep your mouth shut! Rigby: (flinching) Nothing. (The scene switches to Rigby in the hallway. Don and the others can be heard through a doorway in the computer room.) Don: So then I said, "you're not an accountant, you're an account-can't!" (The others laugh at the joke.) Pops: I didn't realize accounting could be so fascinating! Don: I'm just lucky I get do what I love. Rigby: (Mocking Don) "Ohh, I'm just lucky I get to do what I love." Don: (Turns around) Rigbone! Sugar? Rigby: Shouldn't you be fixing the augit? Don: You mean the audit? Rigby: Don't correct me! I know what it is! Don: (Laughing) Whoa, there. I'm sensing some tension, bro. I think it's time we all take a well-deserved break. (The gang - minus Rigby - are outside, and they are playing football.) Don: Mordo! Go long! (He then throws the ball too far.) Mordecai: I got it! (He goes to find the ball and sees Rigby already holding it. A mad expression is evident on his face.) Rigby: Hello, "Mordo". Enjoying your game? Mordecai: Uh, sure, dude. Can you pass the ball? (Rigby throws the ball hard at Mordecai's stomach.) Mordecai: (Grunts) Rigby! Rigby: He's not even doing the debit! Mordecai: It's audit! (Sighs) Rigby, why don't you just try being nice to your brother? He's actually pretty cool. Rigby: You don't get it! He... Don: Hey, Mordo! We playing or what?! Mordecai: Uh, yeah, coming! (Mordecai runs off, leaving Rigby looking just as angry as before.) (Back inside, Don is alone at the computer.) Don: Ah, I just about got this. With a few minutes to spare. (Rigby walks in.) Rigbone! How about a little pre-saving the park sugar? You know: for almost being done saving the park? Rigby: NO! Don: What's going on with us? You never give me some sugar. Did I do something? Rigby: Yeah. You were born! Don: Wow. That's heavy. I gotta get out of here. (Don leaves the room.) Mordecai: Dude? No, wait Don! Don: I'm sorry. I just (Almost crying) gotta get out of here. Mordecai: Dude, what are you doing? He was almost done! Rigby: Ah, he's not so cool. Rigby (continued): I can finish this up myself. Rigby: OK. (He presses another button and more ads pop up. The screen turns red and vibrates dangerously.) Augh! Mordecai! Help! Mordecai: What did you do? Rigby: I don't know! Mordecai: This doesn't make any sense. Rigby: No, no, no! Benson: Don? We brought you a cake. It's almost three - were you able to stop the audit? Rigby: (Imitates Don, badly) Uh, almost done, Benson-bone. (Normal voice, to Mordecai) How do I send this thing? Mordecai: No dude, call your brother back. Rigby: No! I hate him! Mordecai: Don't... Don't send it! Don't! Rigby: Augh! Must... push... send! Mordecai & Rigby: Crap! Computer: You are late. Begin audit. Pops: Oh, my... Benson: Where's Don?! (Outside, Don is shown driving away, almost crying. The others run out after him.) Don! Wait! (To the others) What happened?! Mordecai: Rigby blew it! He wouldn't give Don sugar. Benson: (Furious) What? Go give him some sugar! Rigby: (Even more furious) Never! Mordecai: Rigby? Rigby! (He looks for Rigby and eventually sees his tail poking out from under a pile of clothes on his trampoline.) Rigby! Rigby: (In a sad voice) Rigby's not here right now. Mordecai: Quit being so selfish! (Moves clothing out of the way) The park is disappearing: you have to end this. Rigby: Don't tell me what to do! You don't know what it's like to have a brother, so you don't know! Mordecai: You're right. I don't have a brother. But I kinda know what it's like... 'cause I have you, dude. You're like my brother. Rigby: (Climbing out from under a t-shirt) Really? Mordecai: Yeah. You're to me like Don is to you. I think you're kinda awkward to look at, and you embarrass me all the time, and I wish I could trade you in for someone else. But I don't. Because you're like my brother. With brothers you always gotta make do. And I think you should make do, too. Mordecai (continued): Now will you please get Don to stop this audit? Don: Look, I'm glad you guys stopped by but... I just can't finish the audit. I'm sorry. Rigby: Don, please! I need your help with the augit, bro. Don: Why is it so hard for you to give me sugar? (Almost crying) Why do you hate me? Mordecai: He's mad about the birthday party. Rigby: No! It wasn't just the birthday party. It's everything. Rigby (continued): I'm always in your shadow. You're so much better than me. Everyone likes you better, and to top it all off, everyone thinks you're my older brother. I'm the older brother! Me! Why do all my friends think you're so much cooler than me? Don: I... I had no idea. I'm sorry, bro! I didn't mean to steal your friends! I was just trying to be cool like you. Rigby: Huh? Don: I've always looked up to you, bro. I get my hair cut like you, I try to look like you, and I don't wear clothes, just like you! Remember when you started walking around naked? I thought you were so cool. Mordecai: Yeah, dude. That was pretty cool. Don: Alright. Let's go save your park! Don: Where's the computer? Don: Jeez! What did you do, bro? Rigby: I tried to do the taxis! Don: Hold on - this is gonna be close. Don: Alright, I got it! I just have to do one more thing. Mordecai & Rigby: Do it! Rigby: Why isn't anything happening? Don: Because... (Stands up and turns around, arms outstretched) I still need some sugar, bro! Rigby: WHAT?! Mordecai, Pops, Skips & Benson: (Angrily) Rigby! Mordecai: Aw, Don! Do you have to leave already? Don: Sorry, Mordo, but an accountant's work is never done. Benson: Thanks for everything, Don. Pops: Do come back soon! Skips: Mmhmm. Don: Well, big brother, if you ever need some sugar, you know who to call. Don: Later, gators! Mordecai: (Leaning in to Rigby with a giant smirk on his face) Sugar? Rigby: Shut up!
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