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| - Mordecai and CJ: Whoomp, there it is! Whoomp, there it is! Whoomp, there it is! Mordecai: Break down. CJ: Fun fact about me -- I did a color-guard routine for this in the ninth grade. Mordecai: Uh, fun fact about me -- this song was on a mix tape I made in the seven grade titled "Maxin' and Relaxin'". I was the master at mix tapes. I'd pick a title, then put together a perfect mix. Like "Good Vibes and High Fives", "TV Watchin', Pizza Noshin'", "Mad Schoolin', Straight Foolin'". CJ: Wow. You were pretty cool, Mordecai. Mordecai: Yeah, I was. (He grins) Mordecai: I'd play them for you, but the tapes are all at my mom and dad's. CJ: Dude, we should listen to them! Mordecai: Sure, I could get them tomorrow maybe. CJ: I'd love to come along. Mordecai: You... wanna... CJ: Come along to your parents' house! We can get the tapes, I could meet your parents... (She gasps) I can meet your mom! Mordecai: M... My mom? Mordecai: (Loudly and nervously) Ha-ha! I mean, why not? We've been going out for a few months now, right? Why wouldn't you want to meet my mom? I mean, it's not like I can keep my mom from you forever! CJ: Great! (She kisses Mordecai on the cheek, then punches his shoulder.) Thanks for the dinner/movie. Mordecai: Yeah. Can't wait for you to meet my mom! Mordecai: She can't meet my mom, dude. Rigby: What's the big deal? Your mom's totally cool. Mordecai: She's totally psycho. Rigby: Whaaat? Mordecai: She'd always go out of her way to embarrass me whenever I had a girl over. Rigby: Yeah, but how many times did you have a girl over? Zero? (He stops plays the game) Was it zero times? Mordecai: No! Remember Daphne Gonzales? Daphne: Music? Mordecai: Uh, yea-ah. Daphne: (She covers one of her ears) It's loud. Mordecai: (He covers one of his ears and talks over the loud music) Uh, so what did you get for question 12? Hilary: Hey, kids! Sorry I had to kick the door open. I-It was closed for some reason. (Laughing) This music! What's going on, a dance party? Hilary: Come on, Mordy! Shake what your mama gave ya! Your butt, Mordy! I'm talking about your butt! Mordecai: What do you want, Mom?! Hilary: I made some snacky-wackies for my wittle study buddies. Pigs in a blanket and, uh, prunes. (Whispering to Daphne) The prunes are for Mordy, hon. Keeps him regular. Mordecai: Mom! Mordecai's mom: What? It does. Mordecai: Ugh! Okay, Mom, fine! Just leave now, alright?! Gosh! Hilary: (She sets the plate down on a table) Okay, okay, Mordy. I'll leave. It's just... (She turns to face Daphne with teary eyes) Daphne, thank you. Daphne: Uh, for what? Hilary: For being the first girl Mordecai's ever brought over! (She picks up a video camera) It's going on the tape! So tell me -- how do you like studying with my son? Tell me for the tape. Daphne: I gotta go! Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Rigby: So that's why Daphne wrote "I hope you're still eating your prunes, ha-ha!" in your yearbook. Mordecai: Molly Sherman, Bernice Chan, Sasha Diaz -- none of them lasted a day with my mom. Rigby: (He goes back to playing a game) Sounds rough, man. William: Well, if it isn't my favorite and only son. Mordecai: Uh, hey, Dad. I'm thinking about coming by the house with my girlfriend so I can grab one of my old mix tapes. William: Girlfriend, eh? I'm sure your mom will love that. Mordecai: That's kind of the problem. She gets weird when I bring girls home. It's embarrassing. William: Wait. You've brought girls home? How many times? William: Was it zero times? Anyway, I know Mom can go overboard sometimes, but I'm not sure what you want me to do about that. Mordecai: Just... Is there a time I can come by when Mom won't be home? William: Well, she does have Punchercise tomorrow night, but-- Mordecai: Look, I know it's messed up, but please don't tell her we're coming. William: Uhp, uhp! I can't lie to that woman. Haven't in 25 years. Except if she asks if she could still pass as a college student. Then you lie. Otherwise, no lies! Mordecai: Just don't tell her! Mordecai: Dad, we're here! William: Ah, there's my boy! Mordecai: Ha. Hi, Dad. William: And you must be CJ. I'm William. CJ: Nice to meet you, sir. William: Please, call me Will. "Sir" is my boss's name. Unfortunately, Mordecai's mom isn't around at the moment. Mordecai: (Faking disappointment) Mom's not here?! Darn it! Life's so unfair! Oh, well. Next time or whatever. Anyway, I'm just gonna run up and grab that tape so we can-- Mordecai: Aah! Mordecai's mom: Where's my little champion? Mordecai: Mom! Mordecai: (Strained) You're home! Mordecai's mom: Of course I am. You don't think I'd miss my handsome gent coming home, do you? And when your dad told me you were bringing a new sweetie over, I decided to take the afternoon Punchercise class so I could run right home to see you two. William: 25 years, no lies. Mordecai's mom: (Looks at CJ) And you! Wow! Gorgeous! CJ: Yup. I'm smart and funny too. Mordecai's mom: And modest. She's the whole package. (She puts an arm around Mordecai) Mordy, tell me you and this bombshell will be staying for dinner. Mordecai: Uh, actually, we were-- Mordecai's mom: Pshaw! I insist! Besides, I already whipped up something special before Punchercise. You two sit tight. It'll be ready in a jiff. Mordecai: (Bitterly) Can't wait. Mordecai: Sorry my mom's so weird. CJ: She's totally sweet. Mordecai: Here's my room. CJ: Whoa. Yup. Yup. You can tell a lot about a man from the room he grew up in. Mordecai: Anyway, I think my mix tapes are in the closet. Mordecai: Hmm, they aren't here. Mordecai's mom: (Calling out from downstairs) Mordecai! Mordecai, I need you right now! Mordecai: Ugh! I'll see what she wants. Mordecai's mom: Mordecai! Mordecai: (Comes down the stairs behind her) What? What is it, Mom? Mordecai's mom: Is CJ a vegetarian? Mordecai: That's what you called me down for? No, Mom. No, she isn't. Mordecai's mom: Oh, good! She can have some of my prized meatloaf. Mordecai: Can you just be normal? Mordecai's mom: Normal? Mordecai: Yeah, normal! Ever heard of it? Let's not go nuts here, okay? Mordecai's mom: Don't worry. Let me show you the dessert. Mordecai's mom: See, the berries spell out-- Mordecai's mom: Hey! Stop! What are you doing?! Mordecai: (With his mouth full) Sorry. It just looked so good, you know? I couldn't wait. You've still got it, Mom. Mordecai's mom: You're lucky I have... a backup! Mordecai's mom: Think she'll like it? Mordecai's mom: It was hard to get all her features. Gelatin is such an unforgiving medium. But luckily, I got a bunch of her photos off the internet. Mordecai: CJ! CJ! We got-- We gotta go! CJ: What? Why? Mordecai: We just gotta! Before-- Mordecai's mom: (Calling out from downstairs) Dinner's ready, kids! Mordecai: (He sighs) Never mind. William: He kept running and running. Mordecai's mom: And he shoots the ball into the other team's basket! Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Mordecai's mom: (Laughing) Oh, memories. I've been collecting them, you know, CJ. CJ: Yeah. (She playfully elbows Mordecai) I'm collecting a few interesting ones myself. Mordecai's mom: No, I mean on tape. It's called (Echoing) "Mordy Moments". Mordecai's mom: Okay, who's ready for some "Mordy Moments"? Mordecai's mom (on tape): (Imitating fanfare) Bum-da-da-bum! Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-buuuum! "20th Century Mom" Presents Mordy Moments! "Slip 'N Slide" Mordecai: Yea-ah! Ohhhh! Ahhhh! "Peter Pan" Mordecai: Just think a happy thought, and you can fly too! Baby Mordecai: "Pasghetti" everywhere! Mordecai's mom (on tape): "Pasghetti" on your tushie! Mordecai's mom: You remember that tape, Mordy? Mordecai: Oh. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mordecai's mom: You know, you two should stay for a bit longer. We could eat the special dessert I made for CJ, then we could watch the tape! William: Now where did I put it? Mordecai's mom: I think you put it in the basement. Mordecai: (Quickly gets out of his chair) I'll intercept-- I mean, look for it. (He runs out of the kitchen.) Mordecai's mom: CJ, you're in for a real treat. Mordecai: Yes! Mordecai: Jackpot. CJ: So why do you guys have so many prunes again? Mordecai's mom: Once Mordy brings up the tape, I'll show you why. Mordecai: Sorry, Mom. Mordecai: Aaaahhh! Mordecai: Where's the mix tape? "Slip 'N Slide" Mordecai: Oh, you mean... this mix tape? Mordecai: Hey, give it back! Mordecai: Aah! What the heck?! Mordecai: Who are you?! Mordecai: Whoa... You're all me! "Peter Pan" Mordecai: Brilliant. Grab him! Mordecai: Ugh! Get off! Mordecai: Aah! Aah! Help! CJ! Mom! "Peter Pan" Mordecai: Pfft! Yeah, right. Why would Mom want to help you after tonight? Mordecai: What does that mean? "Slip 'N Slide" Mordecai: Yeah. It means that while you were busy looking for your dumb little mix tape, we put together a little mix tape of our own. Mordecai's mom (on tape): Stop! Mordecai (on tape): Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Mordecai (on tape): Can you just be normal? Mordecai's mom (on tape): Normal? Mordecai: Alright, fine. I admit I haven't been super nice to Mom tonight. But of all people, can't you guys understand? She humiliated us! She put our most embarrassing moments on tape, and now you're stuck like this forever! "Peter Pan" Mordecai: You have to learn to let go, dude. Embarrassing moments make us who we are. The problem isn't that we're stuck like this on "Mordy Moments". (Points to Mordecai's head) It's that we're stuck like this in here. "Slip 'N Slide" Mordecai: Besides, Mom can be really cool. Remember after I got caught in the diving slide? Mordecai: Oh, yeah... To make me feel better, she took me out for the biggest sundae I ever saw. I guess that was really cool of her. "Slip 'N Slide" Mordecai: I'm free! Mordecai: Yeah. She had to pull a lot of strings to find a good doctor to remove that saxophone. Marching Band Mordecai: Yea-ah! "Peter Pan" Mordecai: And after the play, she hunted around for weeks to find me a new pair of rocket-ship underwear. Mordecai: Aw, man. You guys are right. Mom's totally rad, and I've been a complete jerk to her all night just because I wanted CJ to think I was cool. "Slip 'N Slide" Mordecai: Dude, CJ does think you're cool. (He frees Mordecai from his watering hose binds) But girls don't dig guys who are jerks to their mom. Mordecai: You're right, guys. Thanks. I needed that. "Peter Pan" Mordecai: Glad to help, bro. "Peter Pan" Mordecai, Marching Band Mordecai, and "Slip 'N Slide" Mordecai, : See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya! Mordecai: Heh. I guess that stuff is pretty funny. Mordecai's mom: Mordecai? Did you find "Mordy Moments"? Mordecai's mom: Oh, good. Come on. Everybody's in the living room. Uh, Mordy, we don't have to watch it if you don't want to. Is it embarrassing for you? Do I embarrass you? Mordecai: Mom, you don't embarrass me. I've been acting totally crazy. Sorry about being a jerk tonight. Mordecai's mom: Aww. My little boy could never be a jerk. William: Well, look who it is. You found it? Mordecai: Yup. Mordecai's mom: And here's dessert! (She sets the gelatin down on the table) CJ: Wow! It's like looking in a jelly mirror. Mordecai's mom: Oh-ho-ho-ho! This one's a keeper, Mordecai. Mordecai: Okay, okay, everybody, settle down. Welcome to the 10th annual screening of "Mordy Moments". I need everybody to turn off their cellphones, and no food or drink in the theater -- except Mom's dessert. Mordecai: And I'm gonna need everybody to sign a nondisclosure agreement. Mordecai's mom (on tape): (Imitating fanfare) Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-buuuum! CJ: This is way cooler than a mix tape. Mordecai's mom (on tape): ..."Mordy Moments"! "Slip 'N Slide" Mordecai: Yea-ah! Ohhhh! Ahhhh! Baby Mordecai: "Pasghetti" everywhere!
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