| abstract
| - Benson: All right, everyone, quiet down. We all got to setup for a band that's playing at the park tonight. Mordecai: What band, Benson? Benson: It's not important. Mordecai: What's the matter? We only want to know what band. Benson: Hair to the Throne. Mordecai and Rigby: Hair to the Throne?! Rigby: One of the greatest living bands to ever live is coming to the Park?! Muscle Man: This is huge. Hair to the Throne got me though high school. Mordecai: You got to tell us everything! Rigby: Yeah! Do we get to meet them? Muscle Man: How about backstage passes? Mordecai: Are they gonna play the sweet drum solo off their first album? Rigby: The most epic drum solo in history. Mordecai: You've heard it, right? Rigby: I guess you're kind of out of touch, huh? Mordecai: Don't worry. You can totally borrow my -- Benson: Oh, I've heard it because it was me! I performed that drum solo! Mordecai: Get real, Benson. Rigby: Yeah, we know you used to be in a band or whatever, but there's no way you played that solo. Benson: Oh, just because I'm some lame, old park manager, I can't do it? Mordecai: (scoffs) Yeah. That solo features a hundred and fifty pieces of percussion. Skips: It's too advanced for anyone to play. Benson: It is not! Rigby: It's dangerous for a person to play. I heard some guy in Denmark tried, (he raises his arms) and his skeleton caught on fire. (Mordecai nods.) Benson: How about I play the solo then? Mordecai: What? Benson: That's right. If you want to hear some real drumming and not some artificial garbage, I'll be performing the legendary solo right before the concert. Rigby: Oh, look, they're here! Benson: UGH! Muscle Man: Out of the way, losers. (He pushes fans out of the way) Oggy: You must be the park workers. Rigby: Yeah, dude. Mordecai: Of course, we know you guys. Gunner Von Strauss, lead guitar. Oggy Ogostrom, lead vocals. The bass player. (The bass player frowns.) Rigby: But where's the-- (He gasps as some sort of a machine comes out of the bus.) No way! The Drumotron VI! (He says it as the letters V-I and not the Roman numeral six.) Mordecai, Rigby, Skips, Pops, Muscle Man, and Hi Five Ghost: Ooh! Skips: That was the most realistic drum fill I've ever heard. Benson: (scoffs) That fill was a joke. Tell them, Oggy. Tell them the Drumotron is ripping off my solo. Oggy: (sighs) You never played that drum solo, Benson. Gunner: The Drumotron VI played that solo -- always has, always will. Oggy: Anyway, it's impossible to play. Benson: Yeah? Well, I'm gonna play it before the concert. I'm gonna show the world the truth. Hair to the Throne: Ooh! Oggy: Oi, what happened to your hair, Benson? Benson: IT'S HEREDITARY! Oggy: Ha! Yeah, look at this chrome dome. Benson: Chrome dome? Mordecai: Cool. Gunner: Now, we have a surprise for you lot. We're making you our honorary roadies. Rigby: Yeah! This is the best! (Benson groans) Gunner: (waves the last pass tauntingly, in a singsong voice) Benson? Benson: UGH!!! I'M NOT YOUR ROADIE! (to Mordecai and Rigby) Mordecai and Rigby, come on. You're helping me get the rest of my kit. Mordecai and Rigby: Aw, what? But honorary roadies. Benson: I'm still your boss. I'm not asking. I'm telling. Now, come on! (walks away) Oggy: (calling) You're making a huge mistake, Benson. You're only gonna embarrass yourself! Benson: Well, there it is -- the 150-piece kit I used to play that solo. Are you clowns even listening to me? Benson: Oh, come on. It can't be that interesting. Rigby: (holding the backstage pass) But it's holographic. (He moves the pass, upon which its image changes) Mordecai: Besides, having a bunch of drums doesn't mean you did the solo. Benson: Just try and focus. We only have a few hours, and I really need your help. Mordecai and Rigby: Wh-o-o-o-oa! Benson: Hurry up! We've got a dozen more of these to haul, each one heavier than the last. Mordecai: Uh, we should probably get going, Benson. Benson: What? Rigby: You seem to have this covered. Mordecai: Yeah, see ya. Benson: Hey, get back here! (He tosses the hi hat cymbal to the ground) Come back and help me, or you're fired! I can't... do this alone. (sigh) Oggy: Oh good, you guys are back. Here to help out? Mordecai: Yeah, we are. Oggy: The show's about ready to start. We just need a hand with one thing. Mordecai: Sure, dude. Anything. Rigby: What's so funny? Benson: All right. Just a few more trips and my kit will be back to its former glory, and then I'll show them who can play that drum solo. Mordecai: So, why do you guys want a ride here? Oggy: No reason. Benson: Yeah! I'll show them. (He gasps as he arrives at the 150-piece kit, which Hair to the Throne is destroying.) Rigby: Stop! Mordecai: You guys are supposed to be cool! Oggy: We are cool. That's why we destroyed that loser's drum kit. Gunner and Bass Player: Ooh! Mordecai: No way. I don't care how good your first album was. You're just a bunch of jerks. Oggy: Fine. If that's how you feel, we're officially stripping you of your unofficial roadies status. Mordecai and Rigby: Fine! Oggy: Don't bother showing up to the concert. Hair to the Throne, out. Mordecai: (sighs) Benson, are you okay? Rigby: Can you still perform the solo? Benson: (throws broken drum to ground) Of course I can. But what does it matter if my kit's busted? No one cares I play this thing anyways. Mordecai: We care. What if we help you fix it? Oggy: Are we having a good time, park? (He holds his microphone to the audience, which cheers) And now, playing the most impossible drum solo IN THE WORLD... Oggy and the audience: Five, four, three, two, one! Oggy: ...The Drumotron VI! (He points to where the fog has cleared to reveal, instead of the Drumotron VI, just part of Benson's entire 150-piece drum kit.) Audience member: Hey, who's that? Oggy: Benson?! Benson: (echoing) Years ago, something was taken from me. And now I stand before you to reclaim it. My name is Benson! And I can play this SOLO! Oggy: What the...? Thomas: Whoa. Oggy: No! If anyone finds out that he can play this drum solo, we're ruined! Oggy: Stop him! Skips: He's really doing it. Mordecai: What the...? Mordecai: Benson, watch out! Oggy: Not the MIDI controller! Benson: Clear the way! Mordecai and Rigby: The gong! Gunner: But that can only mean... Oggy: 360-degree ascending sky cage?! Oggy: No worries, mate! There's no way you can fit a gamelan on... Park members: Yeah, Benson! Rigby: Past the point of no return. Benson: All right, it's time to finish this. Benson: MY... SKELETON! Mordecai: That was amazing! Rigby: You did it, man! You really did it! Mordecai: We're sorry for doubting you. Skips: All of us. Benson: I told you. Oggy: Benson, we're sorry, mate. It was pretty uncool of us to throw you out of the band and lie about you. We know that now. You're the heart and soul of the band, Benson. Please, come back. Benson: No, Oggy. I don't need rock 'n' roll's endless party 'cause the park is my rock, and managing it is my role. (He picks up his clipboard from the floor) Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to work. (He walks away.) Mordecai: Dude, what the heck, man? Rigby: I know, right? Working at the park blows. Mordecai: I guess we'll never understand that guy.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)