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| - Back during the earliest days of earth, Bartleby became friends with Loki, the Angel of Death. After Loki finished slaughtering the first born Egyptians, the two went out for a drink. During a drunken conversation, Bartleby convinces Loki that he should give up slaughtering humans in the name of God. Loki, taking the advice seriously, presents himself before God, throws down his sword and gives God the finger. God, enraged by this act, banishes the two to a fate worse than Hell; spending eternity in Wisconsin. The two eventually find a loophole through plenary indulgence, thanks to a New Jersey church celebrating its centennial. The two decide to journey to New Jersey in hopes of getting into Heaven, not knowing that it will wipe out the omniverse in the process.
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| abstract
| - Back during the earliest days of earth, Bartleby became friends with Loki, the Angel of Death. After Loki finished slaughtering the first born Egyptians, the two went out for a drink. During a drunken conversation, Bartleby convinces Loki that he should give up slaughtering humans in the name of God. Loki, taking the advice seriously, presents himself before God, throws down his sword and gives God the finger. God, enraged by this act, banishes the two to a fate worse than Hell; spending eternity in Wisconsin. The two eventually find a loophole through plenary indulgence, thanks to a New Jersey church celebrating its centennial. The two decide to journey to New Jersey in hopes of getting into Heaven, not knowing that it will wipe out the omniverse in the process. After a mishap on a bus, the two end up getting an update from the demon Azrael about Heaven and Hell's search for them and the threat of the Last Scion, Bethany Sloan. The two decide to take his advice to lay low. They take a train to New Jersey, which happens to have Bethany and her friends on it. The two then fight the group until they are thrown out of the moving train by Silent Bob. This is where Bartleby changes his upbeat sarcastic attitude to one of bitter rage against the Lord and Loki changes his attitude to a more nervous, insecure one. The two walk their way to Jersey and arrive just in time for the church's centennial celebration. They kill everyone at the event, knowing their souls will be clean once they enter the church. Bethany and company arrive at the scene to find a drunken, wingless Loki swirling around dead bodies while Bartleby hovers overhead. When Bartleby announces his plan to his foes, Loki turns a new leaf and tries to fight Bartleby, because as a side effect of cutting his wings off and becoming human, Loki now has a conscience. Bartleby stabs Loki in the side, killing him. After having his wings blown off by Jay, Bartleby heads for the church, but is interrupted by Metatron and God Herself. Kneeling before Her, Bartleby is killed by the sound of Her voice, all other humans covering their ears were safe at the time this happened.
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