rdfs:comment
| - Watching the glorious spectacle sends my heart reeling, as though I was watching the very first football in game in history, thousands of years ago, at the beginning of the universe, when the Lord himself was the referee. O, how I long, how I lust... for the chance to feel closer to God's great game, by watching how it is conducted on Earth. It does send an earnest tear down my eyes and into the very tips of my well tailored hair, viewing what is, and always will be, America's sport.
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abstract
| - Watching the glorious spectacle sends my heart reeling, as though I was watching the very first football in game in history, thousands of years ago, at the beginning of the universe, when the Lord himself was the referee. O, how I long, how I lust... for the chance to feel closer to God's great game, by watching how it is conducted on Earth. It does send an earnest tear down my eyes and into the very tips of my well tailored hair, viewing what is, and always will be, America's sport. And, what better way to instill the strong patriotic fervor and fear of Jesus — two things that are pathetically lacking in the U.S today — into the hearts and minds of our youth than giving them the gift of football? No need for that Science, English, History, and Math rubbish, the only education our children need in High School is how to throw and kick balls in spandex for our bemused amusement, and for America. So far, this system has worked wonders in America's high schools: the money that could have been spent funding music or art classes or *audible gasp* teacher's wages has been used to support a true American tradition. Instead of raising a new generation of poor Un-American lesbian communist liberals, we've grown a generation of children that know how to throw things and run towards other things really fast, two talents necessary for surviving in the modern world. Unfortunately my friends, there is a threat to not only our cherished Football, but to our very way of life.
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