| Contents
| - :Stan: [Imitating Bernie Mac] Boy driving me insane, got me talking like Bernie Mac.
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:Steve: Hey bitch, where's my Mickey Mouse towel?
:Francine: I'm sorry! I'll try harder.
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:Jack Smith: SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS NOT A CHOICE!
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:Stan: What are you doing? We had a deal.
:Santa: Yeah, well I'm Santa and maybe now even a dumbass like you can figure out that I'm the bad guy.
:Steve: That's what I was trying to tell you! Krampus was good. He cared about kids, Santa just spoils them.
:Santa: And I make a hell of a lotta money doing it. Most of my portfolio is in toy stocks. [laughing]
:Stan: That's why you give toys to everyone...whether they're naughty or nice.
:Santa: The naughty kids buy the most toys.
:Roger: Wait, what? Kids don't buy toys, you give toys away. H...how does that make mone...
:Santa: Do not overthink this! Just know that I'm in bed with big toys so I'm making money.
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:Jack Smith: Merry Christmas! And from your ass!
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:Roger: I've got almost too many hands for jobs.
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:Roger: What's with the speedo, Jeremy? It's too baggy. Is it a tandem speedo for two men? [gets in Jeremy's speedo] Even this is too lose. Mark, hop in here.
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:Roger: [to Stan] Looks like you got some stuff goin' on. Wanna tell me what you did? Wanna tell me who you did? Was it a boy?
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:Stan: Wow, full moon tonight.
:Roger: Actually once you get above the clouds, it's always a full moon.
:Stan: Is that true?
:Roger: Is any of this?
:Santa: Once we kill Krampus, you'll be on my permanent good list, Stan. You and Jesus.
:Roger: But he's Jewish.
:Santa: He is?!
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