| abstract
| - Vastra, Jenny and Strax are having tea. Vastra: Any post Strax? Strax: A letter. Strax hands over the letter. Vastra opens it and reads it. Vastra: It says "Dear, reptile woman. Hand over the one with the bow tie. If I do not receive him by tomorrow, the entire human race will be destroyed. Signed, Mr. Gunman." Strax: Might I suggest a proper war with grenades, guns and those small green bomb things. Jenny: Peas Strax. Someone knocks on the door. Strax opens the door to find the new Doctor. Strax: How dare you impersonate the Doctor? Vastra appears. Vastra: Doctor! Have you... Doctor: Yes. Vastra: We have got problems. Clara runs up. Clara: So have we. Doctor: Now that I've started a new regeneration cycle, the TARDIS doesn't recongnise me. She thought today of all days would be a good idea to set the randomiser back on. I tried to set the SOS settings on, that would send her here, but she wouldn't co-operate so she parked three roads away. Vastra: Come to the drawing room. The four take their places in the drawing room. Jenny: Here's the letter. The Doctor takes it and reads it. Doctor: Mr. Gunman. Otherwise known as Half-Face. Clara: Who's Half-Face? Doctor: Another Time Lord. He broke every single Law of Time, so he was exiled to a planet chosen at random. Skaro. He teamed up with the Daleks. In fact, that's how the whole Time War started. I thought he died when we froze Gallifrey. Jenny: Why would he want you now? Doctor: We're all going. Vastra: We can use my letter-finder. It can detect the exact location of someone's written you a letter in the past week. The five of them are walking down the street. Doctor: Look, I agree with Strax. We should fight him. Clara: But why? Doctor: Whatever he's up to, it's something to do with making a massive hole in the universe so that he can go into the Time Vortex and meddle with time so every period of history at once. Jenny: To stop development? Doctor: Correct. Vastra: My letter-finder says he's here. Doctor: Half-Face is a master of invisibility. Half-Face appears. Half-Face: Doctor. Doctor: Half-Face. Half-Face: You probably want to know why I want you. Doctor: Yes. Half-Face: Your blood, to complete my Time Meddler. Doctor: Couldn't you have thought of a worse name? Half-Face: Just one little drop. Doctor: No. That's like helping to destroy time. Half-Face: I can't force you. But maybe my friend can! A dinosaur stomps over to them. Half-Face: Meet my friend, Diny. Strax: Surrender now, prehistoric scum. Strax throws peas at the dinosaur. The dinosaur opens his mouth and throws the Doctor, Clara, Vastra, Strax and Jenny inside, then closes it. Doctor: Oh. Clara: Exactly how long does it take to get through the digestive system of a dinosaur. Doctor: I don't know. Strax: I can use my space laser to shoot the big one's lungs, and then we can get away faster. Jenny: How? Strax: He'll die and we can yank his teeth and wriggle between the layers. Doctor: Or, we can use the sonic to whizz through his body and climb through his bowels. Clara: Any other way? Doctor: We could go through the nose, but we'd be killed by giant mucus. Clara: OK, we'll go through the bowels. Doctor: OK, everyone, get on my back. Vastra gets on the Doctor's back, followed by Strax, followed by Jenny and Clara. Doctor: Ready! Now! The Doctor aims his sonic screwdriver at the lungs and the five fall down the dinosaur. The Doctor, Vastra and Strax come through the bowels, but Jenny and Clara get left behind. Strax: Where are the other females? Half-Face has disappeared. Doctor: Half-Face! You better come here right now! Meanwhile, Half-Face is sitting at a computer, with a Clockwork Droid on the screen. Clockwork Droid: Has the Doctor's blood been taken? Half-Face: I fed him to the dinosaur. Clockwork Droid: Well? Half-Face: Wait, he escaped, with a Silurian and a Sontaran. Clockwork Droid: That could be a threat. Missy won't be pleased. Half-Face: Don't worry. I'll use Hard Mode.
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