About: K.I.L.I.T. Radio/Transcript   Sponge Permalink

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(The episode starts off with Mordecai and Rigby washing the cart, while Muscle Man is playing the guitar.) Muscle Man (singing): You're the pickle on...no...no...you're the cheese on my burger...uh...burger...(normal voice) Yo bros, what rythmes with burger? Rigby: "Shmurger"? Muscle Man: Mmm hmm. (puts down guitar) Not bad. Not bad. What rythmes with "hottest girl in the world"? Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man what are you doing? Why don't you help us? Mordecai: Dude, that's not gonna work. Muscle Man: No, she'll totally hear it because she listens to the radio like every night. (phone ringing)

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  • K.I.L.I.T. Radio/Transcript
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  • (The episode starts off with Mordecai and Rigby washing the cart, while Muscle Man is playing the guitar.) Muscle Man (singing): You're the pickle on...no...no...you're the cheese on my burger...uh...burger...(normal voice) Yo bros, what rythmes with burger? Rigby: "Shmurger"? Muscle Man: Mmm hmm. (puts down guitar) Not bad. Not bad. What rythmes with "hottest girl in the world"? Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man what are you doing? Why don't you help us? Mordecai: Dude, that's not gonna work. Muscle Man: No, she'll totally hear it because she listens to the radio like every night. (phone ringing)
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  • (The episode starts off with Mordecai and Rigby washing the cart, while Muscle Man is playing the guitar.) Muscle Man (singing): You're the pickle on...no...no...you're the cheese on my burger...uh...burger...(normal voice) Yo bros, what rythmes with burger? Rigby: "Shmurger"? Muscle Man: Mmm hmm. (puts down guitar) Not bad. Not bad. What rythmes with "hottest girl in the world"? Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man what are you doing? Why don't you help us? Muscle Man: I'm busy writing a song for Starla. Today marks a special day in the history of our relationship. It's the anniversary when we first made out. And I want it to be really special for Starla. That's why I'm gonna call K.I.L.I.T Radio and get DJ Donny G to play my song and give a shout out to Starla! Mordecai: Dude, that's not gonna work. Muscle Man: No, she'll totally hear it because she listens to the radio like every night. Mordecai: No, dude. Donny G doesn't play amateur music. Rigby: Yeah, he doesn't even take requests anymore. Mordecai: You're wasting your time. Rigby: There's no way they're gonna play your song. Muscle Man: We'll see about that! (Scene cuts to the kitchen where Muscle Man calls K.I.L.I.T. Radio and also Mordecai and Rigby are in the room.) (phone ringing) Phone monitor: Hello, this is K.I.L.I.T Radio~ Muscle Aan: Yeah, I like Donny G to play my- Phone Monitor: To talk to a K.I.L.I.T representative, press 0. (Muscle Man presses 0) Phone Monitor: Are you calling in regard to a song you heard? Muscle Man: No, I wanna talk to somebody! (presses 0 several times) ZERO! ZERO! ZERO! Phone Monitor: I'm transferring you to our bilingual system.~ Muscle Man: NO! (presses 0 again) ZERO! ZERO! ZERO! Muscle Man: (moves table & chair) Uhh!, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! (hits phone madly on the table) (Mordecai & Rigby come to Muscle Man) Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man, calm down! Muscle Man: Ugh! I'm a failiure of a boyfriend! I can't even do something special for my girl! Mordecai: Why don't we just go down to the radio station and find somebody to talk to? Rigby: Yeah, maybe someone there can help you. Muscle Man: You're right, bros. I need to take this to the source. (Scene cuts to the K.I.L.I.T. Radio station when Muscle Man, Mordecai and Rigby come in Muscle Man's car. They get out of the car and Muscle Man presses the speaker and the security camera turns to them) Speaker: Welcome to K.I.L.I.T Radio. Do you have an appointment?~ Muscle Man: Uhh...no but- Speaker: You need an appointment to enter. Good day.~ (Muscle Man presses the speaker again) Speaker: K.I.L.I.T. Radio. Muscle Man: Look, I just want to talk to someone. Speaker: Do you have an appointment? Muscle Man: No, I have to sent- Speaker: Good day. Muscle Man: Can you believe this place! Mordecai: Sorry Muscle Man. Rigby: Wait, who's that? (Car comes to a parking spot) Muscle Man: Dudes, I think that's Donny G. Mordecai: What? That's not him. Muscle Man: Dude, that's him. Rigby: Yeah, I think it is him. Muscle Man: Watch. YO DONNY G! (Donny G looks) SEE! WOO! DONNY G! HA HA I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! My name's Mitch! Big fan! Donny G: Uhh, thanks man. (Walks away) Muscle Man: Listen, I need a big favor. I wrote this song for my girlfriend Starla. Could you have them play it on the air tonight? Donny G: Uhh.. Muscle Man: It would mean so much to me. Donny G: Yeah, okay sure I'll give it a whirl. Muscle Man: And do an old-fashioned shout out? Donny G: Hey, why not. Muscle Man: WHOOO! Oh man, Starla's gonna be so stoked! Thanks Donny you're the best! Donny G: No problem, my man. Rigby: Well, that was easy! Muscle Man: Yeah, we totally got the hook up from Donny G! Man, I can't wait to see Starla's face tonight. She's gonna be really appreciative. Muscle Man: *Gasps* OH NO BRO! Muscle Man: YO DONNY! Muscle Man: DONNY G!!! Donny G: Look man, it's not what you think. Muscle Man: It is what I think! Cause I saw you! I used to think that you were cool! You know something, I see D-player could do your job! But you know what, I still have a voice. Muscle Man: And this voice, on this tape won't be silenced on YOU! Donny G: Shh, shh, shh. Muscle Man: I SAID I WON'T BE SILENCED! Donny G: Okay, okay. Donny G: But, we can't talk here. Donny G: I'm sorry for the secrecy. It's not safe to talk back at the radio station. Look, Mitch, you were right about everything you said back there. The fact of the matter is, I haven't played a song on the air in a long time. Donny G: Back in the day, K.I.L.I.T. was run by the most famous DJs in the world. We were the heart and soul of the station. And we loved every minute of it. Past Donny G: This is DJ Donny G and we got a nine o'clock power rock block comin' up next for y'all, but first a shoutout to Jerald C from Windy Yarr. Love ya babe. 'Cos that's how we KILL IT! Donny G: Things were going great, until one day the top executive showed up and inforced a new automated DJ system, just so they could cut the budget in half. Little did they know, the system learned to DJ at a geometric rate. And on August 4, 2:14 P.M. EST time, it became self-aware. That was the day the music died. (Shows a man being choked to death by tapes and everyone looks at him. Cartridges are thrown at everyone and the DJs evacuate the building. Everyone except Donny escapes. K.I.L.I.T. DJ 3000: Stay, Donny. We have a special job for you. You must stay! Donny G: As time went on, K.I.L.I.T. Radio's new format ruined popularity. K.I.L.I.T. DJ 3000: This is K.I.L.I.T. Radio. Clean out your ears, dummies! Donny G: And as for my special job. K.I.L.I.T. DJ 3000: Now, clean me Donny. CLEAN ME! Mordecai: So, that's not your voice on the air? Donny G: No. It's just a computerized simulation of it. Rigby: So that's why they don't take song requests anymore. K.I.L.I.T. needs the human touchback. It needs DJ Donny G! Donny G: Nah. Those days are over. Now I'm just DJ Donny the janitor. Muscle Man: Oh, forget that! You need to get back on the air! Donny G: Eh, what's the point? Muscle Man: The point is to not let some lame machine tell you what to do. Radio should be for the people, by the people. Donny G: You're right. Muscle Man: I'm glad you think so Donny G. 'Cos I gotta song to play and you're the only man to do it. What do you say we get you back on the air? K.I.L.I.T. DJ 3000: Unknown individuals detected. Who are these people, Donny? Donny G: Uh, they're repairmen I hired to fix a couple of things. Can't do it all myself. Heh heh heh. Rigby: It's onto us. Mordecai: Dude, be cool. K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000: You may enter. Donny G: Alright boys, the trouble's down in the basement. Let's get you fellas set up. Donny G: Okay, go grab some old equipment and patch them in the system manually. Rigby: C'MON! K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000: You're planning to overwrite the automated broadcast. Muscle Man: Uh, no! K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000: Intruders must be neutralized. Muscle Man: Not before Starla hears my song! Donny G: We have to get to the main broadcast room pronto! Rigby: AHH! Mordecai: Dude! Take out the cameras! Donny G: To the elevator! (They all run into the elevator. Donny presses the button to go to floor 3 repeatedly. ) Everyone: AHH! (Muscle Man kicks the camera out) K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000: Donny, You are acting very foolishly. (By getting off the elevator Muscle Man goes first when Mordecai & Donny help him out and when they all got out, they had to climb to the top of room 3) Muscle Man: (Grunts) (K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 sees him) Muscle Man: We made it! (Elevator wires break) Everyone except Muscle Man: AHH! Muscle Man: Oh no bro! (Muscle Man holds on to everyone while getting up) Muscle Man: (grunts) (Scene cuts when they made it to the broadcast room) Donny G: Hold them off when I set up! (K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 uses microphones to get Muscle Man, Rigby and Mordecai) (Donny puts the equipment in the center of the radio station while the others try to fight back with K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000) Donny G: Okay, guys we're ready! (one record suddenly goes through Donny) Muscle Man: DONNY G!!! (breaks the microphones and goes to him) Donny G.. Donny G: It's..(pants)..the tape Mitch.. Muscle Man: (takes out the tape) What do I do to play the tape? Donny G: ..(pants)..Leave it to me. (Gives out his hand for Muscle Man to give him the tape) (Muscle Man gets upset and gives him the tape) (Donny could barely be calm and goes to put the song in) K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000: Don't do it Donny. If you play the tape, I will be forced to destroy the whole station. (K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 tangles Donny with the wires.) Donny G: Go..save yourselves..No matter what you hear just keep running. Muscle Man: I'll never forget you Donny G. Donny G: I'll never forget you Mitch. You gave me my life back. (Muscle Man smiles and turns back) Muscle Man: Let's book. (They all try to get out except Donny) (Donny tries to put in the tape) K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000: Don't do it Donny, i'm the DJ now remember? Donny G: NOW I'M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW I KILL IT! (He puts it in in presses that they're on the air) K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000: NOOOOOO!!! (Showing self-destruction in 10 seconds) Donny G: Hey all you coolcats! This is your main man on the microphone, Donny G! Coming on live for one last time, with one very special request joining me here at the K.I.L.I.T studio with my main man Mitch! (Scene cuts to the 'Two Peaks Mall' parking lot and to Starla's car) Donny G: And he's got a very special song, for a very special lady, Starla. (Starla smiles) (Scene cuts to the studio while Donny presses the play button) (When he pressed the play button, the self-destructing countdown ended and the studio was getting destroyed while Muscle Man, Mordecai & Rigby tried to get out and also Muscle Man's song "Starla" was being heard) Muscle Man: (Song) I used to be a loser, hanging with my loser friends, and the first time when we made out, made my neck hair stand on end! Oh Starla, Starla-uh-uh-uh-uh! (Scene cuts inside Starla's car when she smiles even more) I guess it's like my heart is spinning donuts, you're the cheese upon my burger, i'm the mustard on your bun! (Donny puts on his sunglasses while seeing the explosion) Just like the perfect burger, our love's never overdone! You're the ice cube in my cola, i'm the ketchup on your fries, and i'll punch the face of any bro, who says so otherwise! (They all got out the building) Oh Starla! But I knew you'd be my lady! And i'll be your Muscle Man! (Starla comes and gets out of her car) Starla: Oh, Mitch! Mitch! (hugs Muscle Man) You did this all for me!! Muscle Man: I'd do anything for you babe! Did you like the song? Starla: It was so romantic! You remembered the anniversary the first day we made out! Muscle Man: Not only that, I remembered how we did it! (Starla and Muscle Man kiss) Mordecai: I don't know, that song was kind of lame. Rigby: Yeah, but it was pretty rad how we outran that fireball. Donny G: Yeah, it was like a movie or something. (The episode ends)
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