| abstract
| - Dark Harvest Zootch: (hit by the dodge ball) Ugh! My organs! (doubles over in pain) Zim: Rhahaha! Inferior (points at Zootch) human organs! Zim: Oh, my squeedilyspooch! (holds his squeedilyspooch) Dib: Squeedlyspooch? Did you hear that, Gaz? That's no human organ. Humans don't have squeedilyspooches! Gaz: I've got a squeedilyspooch. Dib: If only I had some way of looking inside his body... Guy: I'm looking for a ....Mr. Dib? (looks at his clipboard) Dib: That's me! (takes package and signs his name) It's my personal ex-scope! I ordered it from the back (takes out ex-scope) of Crops Circles Magazine. Gaz: You had it delivered to skool? Zim: (as Dib is observing Zim) Hey! Throw it over here you filthy stinking friends. (ex-scope shows ZIM's squeedilyspooch which is unknown) Dib: Incredible! (Zim is heard yelling "HEY HEY HEY!" over and over) You see Gaz, to defeat my enemy I must study my enemy, then become my enemy, then move in with my enemy, then wear my enemy's clothes (Zim yells "I AM ZIM!!!" in the background) then- Gaz: You're in my light. Ms. Bitters: So you see, Ring Around the Rosie refers to the horrible symptoms of a (pigeon flies in) terrifying disease. A disease which--- (pigeon coos and lands on Zim's head) a disease which (bird coos again) Zim! Zim: SIR! Ms. Bitters: There's a pigeon on your head. You've got head pigeons. Get to the nurse before they spread to the other children. Zim: Yes Ms. Bitters. (Walks towards door with pigeon still on his head.) Ms. Bitters: No leaving the class without a hall pass, Zim. Zim: Of course! (Walks over to Ms Bitters' desk and gets a collar hall pass.) Ms. Bitters: If you leave skool grounds, (puts the collar around Zim's neck) it will explode. (The collar shrinks around Zim's neck. Dib is seen with an evil expression on his face) Dib: You know Zim, when the nurse examines you, she'll notice that you don't have human organs. Then it's just a short step to a hospital and from there to an alien autopsy table and then you're just another segment on "Mysterious Mysteries"! Zim: I'll be fine. I bet my squeedilyspooch on it. Hall Monitor: Hey. Where's your hall pass? Zim: Say, you're full of organs, aren't you? Hall Monitor: (looks at his torso) Why yes, yes I am. Zim: And you wouldn't notice if you were, say missing a few? Hall Monitor: (thinks for a second) Probably not. Ms. Bitters: And then the rats came for them. Thousands of them, dirty (shows Dib drawing a picture of Zim in a hospital cut open and a nurse finding out that he's an alien.) Dirty rats. (Dib looks over to Zim's empty desk) And these weren't the cuddly kind of rats (Dib breaks pencil) you get in today's sewers. (Dib raises his hand) Dib: Ms. Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain? (Pencil is up his nose) Can I go to the nurse? Ms. Bitters: How far in your brain? Dib: (looks at his nose) Pretty far. Ms. Bitters: Alright. Take the auxiliary hall pass. Dib: I'm looking for the pigeon-head kid. Secretary: (shakes the can again, another "moo" sound) Nobody's come in with head pigeons, young man. Dib: Zim? Dib: The green kid... Secretary: Oh, the green child! (points to Hall Monitor, who is sitting in a chair across the room) He's right over there doubled over in pain. Hall Monitor holds his stomach, pale green and shivering violently. Hall Monitor: The cooing... (shivers and makes a gagging sound) The cooing! Secretary: He's missing his liver. That's how some kids react to the cafeteria food... The lucky ones... Dib: No! It's Zim! It has to be. He's stealing organs and replacing them with... stuff. He must be stopped! Secretary: Don't forget the your pass! Dib: Right... Dib: Must... warn... others... (looks around as the sound of pigeons cooing echoes through the vents) Zim? (more cooing) Zim? (to himself) Do not show fear. (stands taller) This is me without fear... and a sixty-two pound hall pass. Dib: (reaching an arm up from the ground as kids walk past him) Hey! Wait! Your organs! In danger! Spoon: I don't feel so good. Dib: The hall pass! Dib: Look at them... Dib: ...And it's not even ketchup and rice day... Dib: Gaz! Gaz: Don't bother me, Dib. I'm in the zone. Dib: That's it, Zim! This has to stop! Zim: I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. Dib: (gesturing at Zim) Look at you! You've gone too far! You're a hideous blob of stolen organs! Zim: I've been working out. Dib: You think you can fool a trained medical professional? Zim: Yes. Dib: I suppose you've got a heart in there... Zim: Six of 'em. Dib: Intestines. Zim: Large or small? Dib: Spleen? Zim: In three different colors. Dib: What about lungs? Dib: You won't find lungs on my watch, Zim! Dib: You! You look like you still got all your organs! Torque: Yeah. So? Dib: You're in danger! Come with me! Torque: (sighs) I have to go lift things... Dib: D-um, then I'll come with you. Dib: And he wants to destroy us all. Now I know you think I'm crazy, but you'll thank me... (yells) You'll all thank me! Dib: Aliens are kind of a hobby of mine. Well, more like a way of life, really... Torque: (as Dib searches) Man, you're creepin' me out... Dib: I have vague memories of being taken on board an alien ship as a baby. Dib: And I'm not sure, but I think they were doing tests on me... Trying to create some kind of genius super-baby perhaps... Dib: Torque? (he slowly enters the room) Torque Smackey, is that you? Dib: Come on, man. Talk to me... Let me know you're still here! Dib: (screaming in grief) TORQUE SMACKEEEE! Dib: NOOOOOOO! Dib: NOOOOOO! Ms. Bitters: (pointing at Zim) That one has head pigeons. The other one is just annoying. Fix it. Dib: (weakly) Your stupid plan won't work, Zim. (inhales and moos) You'll never pull this off. (exhales and moos again) Zim: (mouth full of organs) You shpeak craziness, Earth boy! More organsh meansh more human. It will work... Nurse: (looks at the thermometer) There! Why, you're one of the healthiest little children I've ever seen! (puts her hands on her knees) And such plentiful organs! (Zim smiles triumphantly, swings his legs, and looks at Dib) Nurse: (walks over to Dib) And what's the matter with you, young man? Nurse: It isn't human! It's horrible! Dib: (points weakly at Zim) But, he-
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