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| - The People's Republic of Rotherham - locally 'Rothrum' - is a landlocked satellite state of the former USSR, produced through an amorous collision between pig excrement and the Soviet Galactic Battle Fleet. These illicit origins have led to Vladimir VII's denial of Rotherham’s existence and his cynical stratagem to remove it from all maps and government funding initiatives. Holy Emperor Chairman Blair, thought to be complicit in these machinations, most recently said, under state interrogation, “Rotherham? Where’s that? Well, I’ve certainly never heard of it before. Are you sure it exists? Like, no shitting around, mo’fo?” Rotherham was formerly a member-state of the Socialist Workers' Republic of Yorkshire but declared unilateral independence in 1997 following the beginning of Moore's Cul
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| abstract
| - The People's Republic of Rotherham - locally 'Rothrum' - is a landlocked satellite state of the former USSR, produced through an amorous collision between pig excrement and the Soviet Galactic Battle Fleet. These illicit origins have led to Vladimir VII's denial of Rotherham’s existence and his cynical stratagem to remove it from all maps and government funding initiatives. Holy Emperor Chairman Blair, thought to be complicit in these machinations, most recently said, under state interrogation, “Rotherham? Where’s that? Well, I’ve certainly never heard of it before. Are you sure it exists? Like, no shitting around, mo’fo?” Rotherham was formerly a member-state of the Socialist Workers' Republic of Yorkshire but declared unilateral independence in 1997 following the beginning of Moore's Cultural Revolution (see below). Described by Oscar Wilde as “the most attractive arrangement of human refuse since last night’s chicken Vindaloo”, Rotherham consists primarily of crack dens and farming collectives watched over by the vengeful ghost of Arthur Scargill, who is wont to savagely suppress all murmurs of dissent, such as in the Tiananmen Square 12-in-a-Cage Super Smackdown Event of July 2005, also known as Geldof Aid. Owing to its semi-subterranean position, Rotherham receives as much as four hours of sunlight per day, during which the prisoners risk being picked off by working-class Dinosaurs skimming Dane Bowers CDs. The general impression has been likened to The Sound of Music, and even more so to the scenes involving Jean Claude Van-Damme in the Party-approved 1987 sequel, The Sound of Music II: Retributive Measures (a landmark in socialist realism). By night, individual Rotherhamites (or Chuffs) search for displaced Party members and legitimate father figures, before returning to bathe in Vodka Kick.
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