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| - WACO, TEXAS, August 27, 2007--Our Father, who art in Heaven has decreed that the night sky shall be darkened to commemorate the retirement of Alberto Gonzales as America's Greatest Attorney General Ever! During a surprise press conference, The Almighty God informed His Children that He would be staging a lunar ecplise to mark the retirement of Alberto Gonzales. After The Father rode away on a pterodactyl, a host of Angels finished the press conference with a request that everyone bask in His fury tonight between 4:51 a.m. and 7:22 a.m. EDT (1:51-4:22 a.m. PDT). ###
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abstract
| - WACO, TEXAS, August 27, 2007--Our Father, who art in Heaven has decreed that the night sky shall be darkened to commemorate the retirement of Alberto Gonzales as America's Greatest Attorney General Ever! During a surprise press conference, The Almighty God informed His Children that He would be staging a lunar ecplise to mark the retirement of Alberto Gonzales. "Al Gonzales is a man of integrity, decency and principle," began Our Heavenly Father, "After months of unfair treatment that has created a harmful distraction at the Justice Department, Judge Gonzales decided to resign his position. It's sad that his good name was dragged through the mud for political reasons.[1] And for this reason, I shall make the moon disappear at midnight and darken the Earth in the blackest night." After The Father rode away on a pterodactyl, a host of Angels finished the press conference with a request that everyone bask in His fury tonight between 4:51 a.m. and 7:22 a.m. EDT (1:51-4:22 a.m. PDT). Dress is casual (but not pagan casual) no sacrifices are welcome, but a love offering made out to the Alberto Gonzales Legal Fund will be accepted. ###
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