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| - Santa: I can't let you do this, Quillgin. Quillgin: You don't have a choice! Santa: Rudolf, deine nase! (Use your nose!) (Rudolf uses his nose to blast Quillgin's hand, and Santa grabs the present and jumps off the sleigh; Quillgin shoots 3 bullets in Santa's stomach, making him pass out) Quillgin: Merry Christmas, Santa Claus. Muscle Man: Man, these cookies are great! You know who else makes great cookies? My... uncle's bakery, on Fifth and Western. You been there? (Goes to the living room and Benson and Audrey are seen talking to each other.) Audrey: Oh, my gosh. That sweater is so cool. Benson: Oh! You like it? Yeah, you know, it's just fun, festive. I like to get loose on holidays. Audrey: I mean, that's gotta be the winner for ugliest sweater, right? Benson: Oh! Oh yeah. Pfft. Isn't it funny how ugly it is? (Laughs then sips his soda) I'm gonna get more soda. Be right back. Pops: (Laughs) Christmas! Mordecai & Rigby: ♫ We just wanna wish youse a Merry, Merry Christmas! M: Bells jingle! R: Kris kringle! Both: Wrap your gift like this, son! Wrap, wrap, wrap, wrap....tape, tape, bow!♫ (Mordecai picks up his phone) Mordecai: Did you hear it? Yeah, well you gotta see it with the moves. Ha. All right, well have fun with your parents. Merry Christmas, Margaret! Rigby: Did she like it? Mordecai: Yeah, I think so. Benson: Oh, are you leaving already, Mr. Maellard? Maellard: It's Christmas Eve and I'm a busy man. Six more parties to attend. That sweater's terrible. Good party, though. (Mr. Maellard leaves) Benson: Hey, I'll take it! Merry Christmas, sir! (Chuckles) Well, alright. (Goes to get a refill of soda and notices the bottle is empty) Aw, man. Thomas? (Goes to the living room, where Thomas' head is stuck on the stair rail) Benson: Oh, hey Thomas. Could you get some more soda from Skips' garage? Thomas: Uh..well I'd love too...(W'iggles his head) but, uh... Benson: Mordecai! Ri-- (Mordecai and Rigby walk up to Benson) Mordecai: Yeah! We'll go! Rigby: We'll get the soda. Benson: Oh. Okay, great. Mordecai: This counts as your Christmas gift from us, though. Benson: My gift is you getting me more soda? Fine. Whatever. M&R: Ha ha! Yes! (B'oth high-five each other) Mordecai: Tis' better to give than to receive! Thomas: Uh... can someone give me a hand? Mordecai: Man, don't you just love Christmas? Rigby: If you mean getting gifts, then yeah. Mordecai: Dude, of course that's what I mean. Rigby: Christmas should be, like, minimum, once a month. Mordecai: ♫ Minimum! ♫ Huh? Dude, what is that? (They see a meteor (Santa) crash through Skips' garage with a loud noise) Mordecai: (Gasps) Come on. (The two open the garage door; they look up at the hole in the ceiling and then look down where they see Santa Claus) Both: Whoa. Mordecai: Dude. Are you alright? Santa Claus: (On his side) Please...take... take the box. (Turns to his back to see M&R) Take- Aw, man! You two? Rigby: What? This box? (Picks up the present and is about to open it) What's in it? (An ominous moaning comes from inside) Santa Claus: No! (Groans) No, don't look into it! You must destroy it! Rigby: What? Why? Mordecai: Wait. Who are you? Santa Claus: I'm Santa. Mordecai: What? Santa Claus? Santa Claus: (Sarcasticly) No! Santa McMurphy. Yes! Santa Claus! (Groans in pain) Mordecai: Come on, you don't even look like Santa Claus. Rigby: Yeah, Santa's all fat and junk. Mordecai: And he smells like gingerbread cookies. Rigby: He's got rosy cheeks. Mordecai: Yeah, your cheeks are more bruised colored. Rigby: And you smell like you stepped in something. Santa Claus: Well, sorry to disappoint you. But I was just shot at! Fell 3,500 feet and crashed through a garage. (Groans in pain) Besides, all that other stuff was just made up by advertising companies. Trust me! I'm the real Santa Claus! Rigby: Prove it. Santa: (Sighs) Okay, look. You're Mordecai and Rigby. I've been getting letters from you two since you were little. (Mocks them) "Dear Santa, dude, give me an invisibility cloak." "Santa, dude, don't be a jerk, just give me an invisiblity cloak." Rigby: This is Santa! Mordecai: Yeah, I know! Rigby: Hey, what gives? How come we never got 'em? Santa: Look. It's against the rules to give magical gifts. Rigby: Whoa, even Santa has to follow rules? Santa: You have no idea. Mordecai: Okay, so you're Santa. But what are you doing here? Rigby: And what's in the box? Santa Claus: Actually its not what's in the box. But the box itself that matters. (Flashback to Santa's workshop and narrates) It all started a few months ago. I was approached by my lead toy-designer, Quillgin, who is excited about a breakthrough he'd made on his life work. The idea was simple; an empty box that when opened, would give the child what they desire most. Little did I know that the key component was a dark magic. We used a focus group to test how it would work in Christmas morning scenario. And things got ugly. The box had a power over people. (The family turns evil) It brought out worse in them. I ordered that the box be locked away, and then any work pertaining to it'd be destroyed. I should've known he'd come back for revenge. (Flashback ends) The box is in your hands now. You must destroy it. If Quillgin gets it back, he'd use its power to get what he wants most. The destruction of Christmas forever! Mordecai: Christmas gone forever!? (Mordecai and Rigby look each other) Don't worry. You can count on us, Santa. Rigby: Yeah, the box is in good hands. Mordecai: Wait, where is it? Rigby: I thought you were holding it. Mordecai: Oops. No, here it is. (picks up the box) Haha. Santa: Ugh! Why do I have to land in this garage? Mordecai: Alright, c'mon. Let's get you outta here. Santa: No, just go, leave me. The box needs to be destroyed first and for-most. (Groans in pain) Quillgin won't stop until he gets it. (Passes out) Mordecai: Santa! Rigby: Aw, man! He passed out! Mordecai: (to Rigby) We gotta find help! C'mon! Mordecai: C'mon, everybody. He's in here. Benson: Santa, huh? You guys would make up anything to get out of work. Mordecai: He was right here. Rigby: Maybe he's just hiding somewhere. Muscle Man: Weak prank, bros. Pops: I agree. Bad show. Mordecai: It's not a prank. Look, Santa gave us this box. It can give people whatever they want. But it turns them evil. Benson: (Groans) Enough. Gimme that. (Takes the box from Mordecai) I bet this thing's empty. (He opens the box) What the-- Muscle Man: I wanna see! Aw, sweet! Rigby: (tries to take the box) No! Mordecai: Pops! Skips: Enough! Benson: (Turns back to normal) Where'd you get that? Mordecai: I told you. Santa gave it to us. Look, we need your help. We have to destroy this thing to save Christmas. Muscle Man: Then, what are we waiting for?! Skips: Hmm... This box is made from dark magic. It can't be destroyed by any normal methods. It has to be taken deep beneath the earth, and cast it to a fiery molten lava. Rigby: Where are we gonna find that? Skips: I know a place. Rigby: Aw, here? Gene and those rival park guys are losers! Benson: Quiet, Rigby. Skips: The lava pit's in an abandoned mineshaft on the other side of the park. C'mon, let's go! Mordecai: (to Rigby) What are you doing? Rigby: Fixing their snowman. East Pines Worker: Freeze! Stay away from the snowman's carrot! Quillgin: The box was here. Let's move out! Gene: I can't believe it. I thought the prank war is all over, but here you come, to pull some sort of lame yuletide prank. Benson: Look, we're not here to prank you. We're just here to destroy this box in the lava pit. Gene: Oh, sure, that makes sense. What? Someone got you another horrible sweater for Christmas and now you wanna trash it? Mordecai: You don't get it. This box is dangerous. Rigby: Yeah.It was given to us by Santa. Gene: Oh, Santa. Larry, open the box. Larry: But what if it is a prank, sir? Gene: Well, that's what I wanna find out. Now open it! Larry: Woah! Amazing! Gene: Give me that! (Gene takes the box and opens it. Larry: Give it back! Gene: No! Employee: Let me have a look! Mordecai: Stop it! Now do you see what's happening? This is why we have to destroy the box! If it fell to the wrong hands, it could mean the end of Christmas forever. Gene: What is it? Larry: Unidentified men infultrating the park, sir. Gene: What the—Who is that? Mordecai: (Gasps) That must be the elf who's after the box! Rigby: That dude?! I thought he'd be a small elf! Mordecai: C'mon, Gene! Help us! The guy's evil, dude! (The employees of the park begin to plead) Mordecai: Dude, don't you care about Christmas?! Rigby: Yeah, c'mon! Christmas is at stake! Rigby: It's too late!
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