About: Flag Burning Amendment   Sponge Permalink

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Of all the methods of political protest, burning the American flag is by far the most effective. Especially if you are a maggot-infested hippie trying to change minds, burning a flag is an expression much more thoughtful than mere words. Given that your goal is to change the minds of the people most opposed to you — say, veterans of the armed forces — burning the symbol for which they gave up at least two or four years, and in some cases a limb or an eye, is an effective way of instantly changing minds.

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  • Flag Burning Amendment
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  • Of all the methods of political protest, burning the American flag is by far the most effective. Especially if you are a maggot-infested hippie trying to change minds, burning a flag is an expression much more thoughtful than mere words. Given that your goal is to change the minds of the people most opposed to you — say, veterans of the armed forces — burning the symbol for which they gave up at least two or four years, and in some cases a limb or an eye, is an effective way of instantly changing minds.
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  • Of all the methods of political protest, burning the American flag is by far the most effective. Especially if you are a maggot-infested hippie trying to change minds, burning a flag is an expression much more thoughtful than mere words. Given that your goal is to change the minds of the people most opposed to you — say, veterans of the armed forces — burning the symbol for which they gave up at least two or four years, and in some cases a limb or an eye, is an effective way of instantly changing minds. Flag-burning is appropriate wherever you may be: in a crowded downtown, inside a government building, or even in thick woods. There is simply nothing that can go wrong. Flag-burning is the designated method for disposing of worn-out flags. This is as opposed to, say, turning them into trousers, muscle shirts, or doo-rags. Boy Scouts learn this before becoming Tenderfoots, or tender feet, and often collect worn-out flags to start bonfires. They virtually never use the American flag as the neckerchief on their uniforms. Not even at Halloween. Flag-burning, however, is frowned on when conveying an anti-American message. That is, it is all right to burn a flag when what you are feeling is reverence. It is not all right if you are feeling rage. This is why the most important aspect of being an American is to lie about what you are feeling, a trend that ushered in the presidency of Bill Clinton. Flag-burning assumes that it's your flag. Burning a flag you don't own is never persuasive and is always trouble; likewise a barn, a home, or a joint.
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