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| - ♪Yeah Rigby: Man, Timmy's so awesome. Hi Five Ghost: I can't believe he's already turning ten. Muscle Man: Seriously. We watched that kid grow up, bro. All: Happy birthday, Timmy! Timmy: Guys, guys! Check it out! I'm gonna walk the plank like a real pirate! (Jumps off the plank into the ball pit) Timmy (continued): Arrgh! Benson; And the winner of the astronaut icecream-eating contest is....Timmy! Timmy: You guys always make my birthdays the best! Rigby: Man, Timmy's parties just keep getting better every year. Mordecai: Yeah. We gotta make sure this stuntman party is the best one yet. Benson: (On mobile phone) What do you mean a real stuntman job? But it's a stuntman-themed party! What are we supposed to tell our client?! Well, you can say goodbye to your complimentaty fountain sodas, and YOU'LL NEVER STUNT IN THIS PARK AGAIN, MR. HAZARD! Mordecai: Is everything okay, Benson? Besnon: No, everything is not okay! The stuntman cancelled, and Timmy's party is ruined! Mordecai: Are you serious?! Rigby: But Timmy's counting on us! Benson: I know. But where am I supposed to find a stuntman this late in the game? Muscle Man: Well, I might know a guy who...actually no. I don't know any stuntmen. Aah! You're losing it, Mitch! Benson: That's it! We have to cancel Timmy's party! Rigby: No, wait! Mordecai: Yeah. Maybe one of us can do the stunt. Benson: No, it has to be a licensed stuntman. Our insurance doesn't cover amateurs. Rigby: Well, how hard is it to get a license? Benson: Hard. The success rate at Stuntman College is only 25%, and you guys aren't exactly stuntman material. Mordecai: But if it's 25%, then one of us should be able to do it, right? Benson: (Turns red) You think you'll beat the odds like that in one day? Muscle Man: If that's what it'll take to make Timmy happy, then we'll do it! Rigby: Yeah. It's the only chance we have. Mordecai: We're done with all the party prep. I'll enrol us right now. Benson: Ok, but one of you better come back with a stuntman license, or else Timmy's birthday are probably his life are gonna be ruined. Mordecai: Are you sure this is the right place? Muscle Man: (Holding up the brochure) It's the address that was on the brochure. Rigby: (Standing next to a stuntman staue) This is definitely the right place. Johnny Crasher is a living legend! Before he retired, he went in and out of over forty comas. No other stuntman has survived anywhere near that many. Muscle Man: Huh? Rigby: Johnny Crasher! Johnny Crasher: Yeeha! Rigby: Whoa, did you see that roll? Johnny Crasher: Not part of the stunt! Rigby: Ahh! Are you ok? Johnny Crasher: Yes! Are you trying to say I look bad after bein' in forty comas!? Rigby: Are you -- (Switches his sights to his right side) -- talking to me? Because... Johnny Crasher: Yeah, I'm talking to you! You think this stuntman is supposed to be pretty? You think (Interrupted by screams in pain) -- these headaches! Ok! Well, unless you're just here to drop off your recycling, let's get started! Johnny Crasher (continued): Here are your stunt textbooks! (Hands books out) They contain everything you need to know to complete this course! You should read these in case I forget to teach you something important, which is very likely because I've been in forty comas. You may think you have what it takes to be a stuntman, but I'm here to tell ya, none of that matters if you can't do one thing: A stuntman's gotta hit his marks! If you can't do that, (Muscle Man nods) you are worthless! Johnny Crasher (continued): Now, uh, before I give away any other freebies, there's a little matter of tuition. Cash your money orders only. Johnny Crasher (continued): That'll just about make up for the way things turned out. So just a few warnings while you're still in the comfort of your chairs. You're gonna be breakin' bones out there. You're gonna be gettin' your teeth knocked out, your faces smashed, your eyeballs ripped out! Anybody wanna quit yet?! No? Alright, good. Rigby: He's just being dramatic, right? Johnny Crasher: Hey, little guy. I'm sorry, do you wanna teach the class?! Maybe you should get up here on the mark and show everybody how to take a punch. Huh?! Rigby: Buu... Johnny Crasher: Now! Mordecai: Good luck, dude. Muscle Man: Yeah! Whoo hoo! Teach us, teacher! Johnny Crasher: You think there's something funny about stunts? Muscle Man: No, sir! I'm sorry, sir. That looks very serious, sir. Johnny Crasher: It was, but I don't think you realize how serious. So why don't you get up here and take the next punch? Johnny Crasher (continued): Back to your crib, you little baby. Muscle Man: So are they any secr- Mordecai: (Puts hand up) I'm confused. Aren't we supposed to learn how to take a fake punch? Johnny Crasher: Oh, you're confused. Ah, okay. Why don't you get on this mark so that I can punch you in the face?! Mordecai: Uhh... Johnny Crasher: (Clapping) Well, well, well. You passed basic training. Congratulations! By the way, I'm being sarcastic. Johnny Crasher (continued): You've gone from being delicate butterflies to slightly less delicate butterflies. It don't mean NOTHIN'! If you want your stuntman licenses, you have to pass my final exam! Guys: Final exam? Johnny Crasher: This ain't no mamby-pamby true or false test. It's five and a half acres of pure pain! And if you survive that, you just hit your mark, and you'll get your license. Mordecai, Rigby and Muscle Man: Uhhh.... Benson: Where are you guys? Mordecai: Uhh, we're about to take the stutman exam. Benson: Well, hurry. We need a- Timmy: Uncle Benson! Benson: (on the phone) Timmy's here! Uh, I'll stall! ( puts on the goofiest false smile you've ever seen) Tiiiiiiimmy! Muscle Man: Bros, come on! Bring it in! Muscle Man (continued): The odds say at least one of us will make it. Guys: 1, 2, 3! Muscle Man: Who's this for?! Guys: Timmy! Johnny Crasher: You ready?! Guys: Sir, yes sir! Johnny Crasher: Starting positions! Johnny Crasher (continued): Get set! Go! Johnny Crasher (continued): Good luck, cadets! Hi Five Ghost: Bros, go on without me. I can't take it. Muscle Man: What? No! Hi Five Ghost: Just now, going through those wooden panels, it felt like we went through three times or something. Rigby: What about Timmy?! Hi Five Ghost: Timmy's a great kid. Be great for him. Mordecai: We got to go! Guys: Timmy! Timmy! Muscle Man: Don't try this at home! Muscle Man (continued): Come on, bros! Rigby and Muscle Man: Mordecai! Mordecai: Dudes.... cant... hold on! Muscle Man: But you gotta! Mordecai: Tell Timmy.....i'm sorry. Rigby and Muscle Man: Nooooooo! Rigby: Go without me, dude. Muscle Man: What?! We already lost two men! Rigby: But the pain... Muscle Man: How about Timmy's emotional pain when his big 1 0 blows! Your pain means nothing! Timmy means everything! Rigby: You're...right! Rigby (continued): Well, at least we didn't have to jump any sharks! Muscle Man: What was that? Rigby: The final jump! Gun it, bro! Johnny Crasher: Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, this part always gets up! Rigby: Dude, we're gonna miss our mark! Muscle Man: Get on my back, bro! Rigby: Dude, how'd you know to wear a wingsuit? Muscle Man: It was in the textbook, bro! Johnny Crasher: Well, I'll be! He read the textbook! Muscle Man: Alright, let me down easy! Johnny Crasher: The doctor said this eye would never produce tears again, but the way you hit those marks out there is nothing short of a miracle! Johnny Crasher: Congratulations! And, uh, this time I'm being sincere. Benson: Everything ready, guys? Muscle Man: Yeah. Benson: Okay, kids, it's the moment you've all been waiting for! Timmy: It's time for my birthday stunt! Benson: Hit it! Muscle Man: Yeah! Whoo! Rigby: Make some noi-oise! Rigby and Muscle Man: Happy brithday, Tim- Muscle Man: I'm sorry, Timmy. Timmy: Alright! That was the best stunt I've ever seen. Now, let's open some presents! Rigby: Aw, I love that little guy.
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