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| - Muscle Man: Good, you're all here. As you probably already know, today marks five years I've worked at the park. So in honor of me, we're eating at Fry it Up at 8:00! Mordecai: Oh, no can do, Muscle Man. Muscle Man: What? Why not? Rigby: We already made plans with Margaret and Eileen. Muscle Man: Pssh, your loss, bro. While you're striking out with some chicks, we'll be scoring some wings! And some chicks! Am I right, Skips? Skips: Sorry, I can't either. I'm bowling with Pops and Benson. Pops: Lawn bowling! Muscle Man: Ugh! Looks like it's just me and you tonight, Fives. Hi Five Ghost: Oh.... Muscle Man: What? Hi Five Ghost: Low-Five is graduating from the police academy tonight! He's my brother, I have to go! Muscle Man: (Stutters) Fine! You're all uninvited! Mordecai: Dude, don't be like that. Muscle Man: No, it's cool! It's not like it's my fifth anniversary or anything! This bird is flying solo tonight, babies! WHOOOO! (Runs away) Waiter: Oh, are you waiting for more people? Muscle Man: No! Why would I be? I'm a one-man party! Waiter: Okay... Muscle Man: Give me the bottomless wings, the bottomless muffin tops, and a cream cheese donut stuffed inside a roast chicken. Muscle Man (continued): Uh, no. I'm gonna keep this for a minute. Muscle Man (continued): Those guys are totally missing out. Filbert: Ugh, this next issue isn't coming together at all! Mulligan: A little fried milk, please. Filbert: I mean, look at these. We're supposed to be on the cutting edge. Mulligan: Hold the phone? Filbert: Holding. Mulligan: I think we found our solution. Mulligan: Uh, excuse me sir. Muscle Man: What? Mulligan: Uh, please, would you mind standing up for a minute? Muscle Man: Ugh, fine. (Does so) I know my rights, though. Mulligan: I told you. Filbert: Tell me kid, have you ever thought of becoming a model? Muscle Man: No. Filbert: (Picturing Muscle Man's body) Because you sir, have the perfect body.. to pose as a pregnant woman. Hi. Filbert & Mulligan. Mommy Monthly Magazine. Muscle Man: Mommy Monthly? But I'm not a woman. Filbert: (Laughs) I just love this kid! Mulligan: Look, we all know that there's nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman's belly. Filbert: There's no disputing that. Mulligan: But we also know that shooting the real thing is twice as expensive and takes three times as long. Filbert: Plus, pregnant women don't stay pregnant forever. Mulligan: So that's where you come in. As a gut model. And that is the technical term for males in this business, gut model. You'd make some real sweet dough. Filbert: Some beacoup dinero. Muscle Man: Well, I got other commitments right now, but I appreciate the compliment. Mulligan: Hey, we appreciate the view. Filbert: Of your gut. Mulligan: Because you look a lot like a pregnant woman. Filbert: (Giving Muscle Man the business card) Give us a dangle if you change your mind. Muscle Man: (Sitting back down) Pssssh. A model. Yeah, right. (Remembers something) Hmmm. (Picks up a piece of food) "Ooooh, Muscle Man! We're sorry we didn't hang out with you. Please don't leave us to be a gut model." That's right. Keep begging. (Eats food) Hmm-hmm-hmm. Benson: Ok, everybody. Listen up. Before we do the chore handout today, Muscle Man has something he'd like to say. Muscle Man: (Standing up) I'm quitting. Muscle Man (continued): I was scooted by some guys at Mommy Monthly Magazine, so I'm ditching you losers to be a world-famous gut model. Whaddya thinka about that? Pops: Sounds like a golden opportunity. Muscle Man: Uhh, yeah. Ladies, afterparties, and I'll be making oju dinero. Benson: That's great, Muscle Man. I'll just fix the schedule. Benson (continued): Hi Fives, you're with Mordecai and Rigby now. HFG: (Hi fiving the two) Alright! Rigby: Yeah-yuh! Mordecai: Alright! Muscle Man: Uhh, yeah. So I'm pretty set on leaving... unless you guys need me around or something. Skips: Oh we understand. When Mommy Monthly calls (Points at him with a smile) you pick up the phone! Benson: Alright everyone, (Everyone gets to work except Muscle Man) we've got a lot to do today. Muscle Man: Fine. I'll see you guys later! But probably not! Because I'm leaving! To be a famous gut model! I'm really gonna do it! Filbert: No, no, no- (Woman comes in with Muscle Man) Oh, there he is! Mulligan: There's our guy! Muscle Man: Yeah, so I guess I'll take the job. Filbert: Great, great! Mulligan: Love it! Hey, we didn't catch your name last time. Muscle Man: Mitch. (With a proud face) But my friends call me Muscle Man! Mulligan: Alright, Mitch. Filbert: Hey, soon we're gonna be callin ya "Mommy Man", so get ready! Mulligan: This is big, Mitch. Your whole life is about to change. Filbert: We need to celebrate! Mulligan: Launch party tonight. Boom! Filbert: Mitch signs the contract at the party, we'll move all the big players and be there: double boom! Mulligan: I like the boom of that. Filbert: We'll do it Al Fresco! That park over there. Muscle Man: Hey, that's where I work! Mulligan: Used to work. (Nudges Muscle Man in the shoulder) Right, Mitch? Muscle Man: Yeah. Forget those guys. This is gonna be awesome! (Proceeds to hi-five) Filbert: (Straightening his tie) This is the magazine industry, Mitch. No hi-fives, okay? Mulligan: How bout some quick test shots, huh? Mulligan: (Taking the pics) Yeah! Uh-huh! Oh, these look great Mitch! Muscle Man: Hey, you know who else look great in photographs? (Puts his hands up) MY MOM! Filbert: Is that a joke? Mulligan: Look Mitch, we don't do jokes here. Just let your gut do the talking. Muscle Man: (With a just-kidding look) But I was just- Mulligan: (Resumes picture-taking) Shirt! Shirt! Mulligan (continued): There we go! Yes! (Chuckles) Customer: I'll have the besta miyata. Muscle Man: (Nonchalantly) Benson! Benson: Hey, man of the hour! Nice shirt. Muscle Man: Uh, yeah. Hey, I didn't give you my two-week notice, right? I can stick around if you're short handed. Benson: Don't worry about it. I already posted in a job listing. Muscle Man: What? Benson: But what do you care? You're gonna be a gut model. (Walks away with food) Get out there and mingle! Muscle Man: Give up, guys. It's never gonna work. Rigby: What are you talking about? Muscle Man: (Pointing at them) I know you guys are planning a prank or something. Better get it in while you can. It's your last chance. But if it's really good, I'll have to stay and get you back. Mordecai: Alright, you got us. We did plan something. Muscle Man: Oh ho ho! Man, I knew it! Mordecai: Ok, ready? Mordecai & Rigby: ♪ Muscle Man, Muscle Man! Usually so obscene But now you're following your dream Just don't become a drama queen! Modeling, modeling We are modeling, modeling!♪ Muscle Man: That's it? Mordecai: (Panting) 'That's it'? Rigby: (Panting) We've been working on that all day! Muscle Man: (Sighs) This is it. I'm really leaving, Hi Five Ghost: I know. It's crazy. Muscle Man: (With a smile) You're gonna be lost without me, bro. Hi Five Ghost: (Chuckles) I'll get by. Muscle Man: Yeah, right! I know you're gonna miss me. I might consider staying if you like, begged me or something. Hi Five Ghost: Muscle Man, I- Filbert: Hello, hello? Hi, welcome everyone. Thanks for coming out to honour the new gut of Mommy Monthly Magazine. Mitch, where are ya? Filbert (continued): Get up here! Muscle Man: (To Hi Five Ghost) Uh, what were you saying, bro? Hi Five Ghost: You better get up there. Filbert: There he is! Mitch, everybody! Filbert: Well, the time has come. Mulligan: Just sign the contract and you'll be a world-famous gut model. Muscle Man: Uh, well, I mean, if no one objects to me leaving. Anyone have a good reason why I shouldn't sign this contract? Skips: Just remember us when you're famous! (He and the others laugh) Filbert: Ladies and gentleman, our new gut model for life! Muscle Man: (Shocked) Wait, what? For life? You're joking, right? Mulligan: We don't joke kid, remember? (Stern tone) Read the contract. Muscle Man: Okay, fine! (Points at his friends) If this is it and you all want me to go so bad...! Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, Pops, Skips & Hi Five Ghost: Huh? Filbert & Mulligan: Huh? Muscle Man: You want me to go be a gut model?! I'll go be a gut model! But this gut model's going out with a bang, baby! (Takes off his gut model shirt and twirls it) Whoo! Muscle Man (continued): Yeah! Muscle Man (continued): Yeah! Fry it up, everyone! (Picks up the mic stand) Fry up EVERYTHING! Man: Stop! You can't put inedible items in the fryer! Muscle Man: It's my party and I'll fry if I want to! Skips: Take cover, everyone! Skips (continued): Go! Go! Hi Five Ghost: (Noticing Muscle Man in trouble) Muscle Man! Hi Five Ghost (continued): Calm down! You're ruining everything! Muscle Man: Everything's already ruined! I thought you guys were my friends, but no one cares if I leave. Rigby: (Who is under a table with Mordecai and Benson) Dude, what? Of course we care. Mordecai: We're just happy for you! Hi Five Ghost: We don't want to stand in the way of your new life! Muscle Man: What new life? I never wanted to be a gut model. I just wanted you guys to say you needed me. Hi Five Ghost: (As chaos is still going on) We do need you! I need you! Muscle Man: Well, I needed you at that restaurant last night. You're the one person I thought I could count on. Hi Five Ghost: Dude, that was just bad timing! Get over it! If you left, it wouldn't be the same. Muscle Man: Really? Hi Five Ghost: I'd be miserable without you, bro. (With a smile) You're my best friend. Muscle Man: Fives, let me out! Hi Five Ghost: (Does so) What are you gonna do? Muscle Man: I'm gonna save my friends. Muscle Man (continued): Yo, Grease Puddle! Muscle Man (continued): You wanna fry something? Fry this! Filbert & Mulligan: (In slow motion) Mitch, nooo! Filbert & Mulligan (continued): Aaaaaaah! Filbert: Why'd ya do it, kid? You could have been one of the greatest gut models of all time! Muscle Man: (Opens his crusted eyes) My friends needed me, and I saved them. Mordecai: Uh, actually, you didn't really do anything. Rigby: Yeah. (Points) Firemen are still trying to put out the Grease Monster with bread crumbs. Mordecai: I mean, I guess you did buy us enough time to make it safety, so that was pretty cool. Mulligan: Well, we don't need this anymore. Muscle Man: Whatever. I'd rather be fried and hanging with my bros at a park than be making dijon dinero as a gut model anyday. Skips: And we wouldn't want it any other way. Muscle Man: Can you guys stop making me laugh? It hurts when I smile. Muscle Man (continued): Ahioooh!
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