About: Gerard Finneran   Sponge Permalink

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Prior to 1995, Finneran was just an ordinary schlub, a worker drone like you and me, well, just you, actually. But he hungered, he thirsted for more - he was a legend-in-waiting, and 1995 was to be his year. In November 1995, Finneran took an ordinary first-class flight on United Airlines from Buenos Aires to New York, returning from a business trip. For most people, that would be the end of the story, but that's what makes you part of the herd. A man of infinite resource like Gerry is capable of elevating such mundane activities to the realms of folklore. And so it proved.

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  • Gerard Finneran
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  • Prior to 1995, Finneran was just an ordinary schlub, a worker drone like you and me, well, just you, actually. But he hungered, he thirsted for more - he was a legend-in-waiting, and 1995 was to be his year. In November 1995, Finneran took an ordinary first-class flight on United Airlines from Buenos Aires to New York, returning from a business trip. For most people, that would be the end of the story, but that's what makes you part of the herd. A man of infinite resource like Gerry is capable of elevating such mundane activities to the realms of folklore. And so it proved.
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abstract
  • Prior to 1995, Finneran was just an ordinary schlub, a worker drone like you and me, well, just you, actually. But he hungered, he thirsted for more - he was a legend-in-waiting, and 1995 was to be his year. In November 1995, Finneran took an ordinary first-class flight on United Airlines from Buenos Aires to New York, returning from a business trip. For most people, that would be the end of the story, but that's what makes you part of the herd. A man of infinite resource like Gerry is capable of elevating such mundane activities to the realms of folklore. And so it proved. Our man politely requested a drink before the plane took off, which the hostess was pleased to provide him with. He drained it in short order, and, feeling insufficiently refreshed, requested a second. This was swiftly followed by a third, then a fourth, and so on. By the time the plane was under way, Finners was heroically oiled. Pleasingly though, he refused to stop of his own accord at this point, and requested another beverage from the hostess, possibly slightly less politely than before. Inexplicably, this request was refused, setting Gezza's destiny in motion. Showing commendable initiative, our Guy decided that the obvious next course of action for a reasonable person was to start fixing his own drinks. The flight crew, however, objected to the empowering notion of the self service, probably because they are in a union, or some other commie club of that nature. They repelled his attempts to further his own intoxication, and also rallied around their colleague to reject his further entreaties for some time. When a female flight attendant refused him service for the twentieth time in as many minutes, something inside young Finny snapped, and he chose that moment to manifest his destiny.
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