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| - Gus: Ahh, pizza? Matt: Boom! You just got pranked. Pizza Hut? More like Pizza Butt, am i right? Kerry: Nice. Matt: That's what i'm talking about. Dominos? Uh, Dumbinos. Papa Johns...? That one doesn't work, but i'm still delivering shame and humilitaion in thirty minutes or less. Gus: You want a prank war? It's a prank war you got, except you forget, you're dealing with the prank master, i'm the prank king, baby. Matt: Oh, are you? Gus: I'm the prank fucking king. Matt: Oh yeah? Gus: Wanna see my accomplice? Matt: What you got? Gus: Abe Lincoln. Matt: Uh huh. Gus: Sucker! Matt: What? Matt: Enjoy the play? What? Gus: Haha, you just got pranked! Best seats in the house, told you i was good. Matt: Thank you? Matt: For Matt? Awesome. Gus: Hope you like technology, 'cause you just got Techno-pranked. Gus: Owwww. Matt: i'm keeping this. Gus: Sucker, this is a great prank. Matt: Hey Gus, what'cha doing? Gus: You caught me, but i pranked you! I'm washing your car, and i fucking filled your tank with gas, put supplies in the back, PRANK! Matt: Ok that's a good one. Gus: Put the crown on me, i'm the king baby. Matt: Ok, Gus...you do know this is not how you prank people. Gus: What? Matt: Pranks are not nice things you do for people, they're playfully mean surprises. Gus: But you gave me pizza earlier. Matt: I gave you pizza so you would sit in it. Gus: Oh...I thought it was because you knew I liked pepperoni. Matt: No, it's because i knew you didn't like sitting on pizza. Gus: Ooooohhhhh. Matt: Yeah. Gus: Okay, smart yeah, yeah yeah, that makes sense. Matt: You get it now? Gus: Yeah, yeah. Matt: Just finish up. Gus: Yeah man. Matt: 'Cause i gotta go home soon. Gus: Man I got such a good lather going. Matt: Ha, Alright Gus, what do we have this time. Joel: FREEZE, Secret Service. Burnie: Thought you could get away with it, did ya pal? Come 'ere. Joel: Yeah but somebody ratted you out you rat! Burnie: Yeah, guess you could call us the hardy boys, 'cause we're so hard, on naughty little boys. Joel: Hard boys. Matt: Okay...that's disgusting. Burnie: No, you made it disgusting. Matt: Wh..who...who are you guys, what are you doing here? Joel: You're under arrest, for conpiracy to murder the President on the United States! Matt: What? Burnie: Oh don't play dumb with us pal. Joel: Don't play dumb with us, you think we wouldn't find out? Matt: Find out? I haven't done anything. Burnie: Oh no, but you were planning on it weren't you smart guy. Matt: No, no. Joel: Oh, i see it's just a coincidence that you got one ticket to the same play as the President is attending! Matt: I can explanation...I mean...I...I have an explanation. Burnie: Oh an explanation, well can you also explain your internet searches? Joel: What did you Ask Jeeves, huh? Burnie: Conspiracies. Joel: Conspiracies. Burnie: Guns that kill. Joel: Kill. Burnie: Guns that kill important people, My name is Matt Hullum and i want to kill The President at 7pm next Tuesday at the play we're both attending. Also there were searches for girls with large thighs, what's up with that pal? Matt: No, i didn't... Joel: You didn't even disable cookies. Burnie: What an amatuer. Joel: Cookie? Disabled. Matt: Why are we bringing baked goods into this? Burnie: And what about that nice trunk of evidence we found in that clean getaway car right outside? Joel: And you know what was in that trunk full of evidence? Joel: A trunk full of gas, used to drive all the way to Mexico! Amigo, Even though you and I are not friends my friend. Matt: Friend?! Who played a prank on me. Joel: ADMIT IT, YOU WERE GONNA MURDER THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! Matt: No...no, i wouldn't, how would i even do that, i don't even own a gun. Matt: Ahhh, ugh it's not mine! That's not mine. Burnie: The buck stops here pal! Joel: You make me sick. Matt: No, no no, you guys got it all wrong. Burnie: That's enough, let's go pal, Come on! Matt: I put pepperoni, on his pants, and then, he was...it was payback, payback for the Pepperoni Pizza Pants Prank! Burnie: Keep walkin'! Quick flashes of Matt getting a mugshot, fingerprinted and sentenced - cut to Matt in prison, clutching the bars It was a prank. Matt: It was a prank...PRANK! Gus, GUS! GUUUUUUUS! Matt: And that's how I found myself an old man with nothing left to live for, and now I got to either get busy living or get busy dying. And I suppose I- Gus: Ha ha, Prank King, Prank King, Prank Master! Ha ha, You got pranked, I win, It was worth it, Ha ha ha. Matt: And that's how I found myself an old man with nothing left to live for- Gus: Prank King, Ha ha ha, Prank Master, I win, It was worth it ha ha. Fuck your cane! Gus: Ha Ha Ha!
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