About: March 18, 2002 episode of Monday Night RAW/Transcript   Sponge Permalink

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Jim Ross: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night RAW! We are live from the Omni Coliseum in Atlanta, Georgia, just 24 hours removed from an epic WrestleMania! J.R.: My name is Jim Ross, and I'm joined by my broadcast colleagues, Jerry "The King" Lawler and "The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko, and tonight will be, arguably, one of the most exciting editions of RAW in recent memory! Earlier today, Mr. McMahon announced the beginning of the brand expansion! WWE is expanding! Starting tonight with the first ever draft lottery! King: Now, don't get my hopes up, Larry.... King: It's true, he did!

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  • March 18, 2002 episode of Monday Night RAW/Transcript
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  • Jim Ross: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night RAW! We are live from the Omni Coliseum in Atlanta, Georgia, just 24 hours removed from an epic WrestleMania! J.R.: My name is Jim Ross, and I'm joined by my broadcast colleagues, Jerry "The King" Lawler and "The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko, and tonight will be, arguably, one of the most exciting editions of RAW in recent memory! Earlier today, Mr. McMahon announced the beginning of the brand expansion! WWE is expanding! Starting tonight with the first ever draft lottery! King: Now, don't get my hopes up, Larry.... King: It's true, he did!
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  • Jim Ross: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night RAW! We are live from the Omni Coliseum in Atlanta, Georgia, just 24 hours removed from an epic WrestleMania! J.R.: My name is Jim Ross, and I'm joined by my broadcast colleagues, Jerry "The King" Lawler and "The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko, and tonight will be, arguably, one of the most exciting editions of RAW in recent memory! Earlier today, Mr. McMahon announced the beginning of the brand expansion! WWE is expanding! Starting tonight with the first ever draft lottery! King: Ain't that the truth, J.R.! For those of you who don't know what the draft lottery is, starting tonight, every single superstar on the roster will have their contract bound to either RAW or SmackDown! Superstars will no longer be able to appear on both brands! This is the first time in WWE history that something like this has ever happened! I'm excited to see what will go down tonight! Zbyszko: Tonight will definitely be a historic episode of RAW. The most interesting thing about this draft lottery is that it will be totally random! Each draft pick will be a completely random pick from the roster. So we could get anyone! The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Triple H, The Undertaker....heck, this may be the last night we broadcast as a team! King: Now, don't get my hopes up, Larry.... J.R.: The other big announcement was that each brand, from here on out, would be controlled by a General Manager! In one of the most shocking appointments I've ever heard of, Eric Bischoff, who was formerly President of WCW, has been named General Manger of RAW, while "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes was placed at the helm over on SmackDown. Zbyszko: I don't have a problem with this whole GM thing, but why did our GM have to be Eric Bischoff? J.R.: In just a few moments, the draft will begin! Lillian Garcia: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the General Manager of RAW, Eric Bischoff! J.R.: And here he comes, our new General Manager! Whether you love him or you hate him, there's no question that Eric Bischoff has done some great things in this industry. Zbyszko: Yeah, and one of them is getting his ass handed to him by me at Starrcade '97! *laughs* King: You better watch your mouth, Larry. Remember, he's your boss now...again. Zbyszko: Ask me if I care, King. J.R.: Well, he certainly appears to be in a good mood. And why shouldn't he be? He's now in control of the premier program in sports entertainment. Zbyszko: Don't say that too often around him, J.R. The last thing we need is more air to be pumped into his already overinflated ego. Bischoff: I just wanna tell each and every one of you how happy I am to be here with you! Bischoff: For those of you who may not know me... my name is Eric Bischoff, and I used to run WCW. (Boos intensify) Not that watered-down version, by the way, that invaded this company... but the real deal. You see, when I ran WCW, I became famous. Zbyszko: Oh, brother..... Bischoff: That's right. I was the only person EVER able to take it right to Vince McMahon. That would be me. In fact, when Vince was out here a couple weeks ago talking about ruthless aggression... just who the hell do you think he was talking about? That, of course, would be me - I've personified ruthless aggression. King: It's true, he did! Zbyszko: Shut up, King. Bischoff: When Vince McMahon needed star power, I was ruthless. Hell, I signed everybody he had! Hulk Hogan (pop for Hogan) - Randy Savage (pop for Savage) - Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Roddy Piper, it went on and on and on, hell - I was like a kid in a candy store! I signed Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and "Mean" Gene Okerlund... just for the hell of it! (boos return) Just because I could. Zbyszko: Do we have to listen to this? King: Shut up, the general manager is speaking! Bischoff: But what I really did... is I took this little family business, this McMahon monopoly, and I gave it one big swift kick in the crotch. And it was sweet. In fact, while Vince McMahon was on trial with the federal government, he took his eye off the ball - and I raided his company dry. (boos continue) And for all of you people who say the only reason I was successful is because I had Ted Turner's money, I've got news for each and every one of you - I was successful because I was innovative. In fact, I was cutting edge, remember - remember back when RAW was taped every other week and Nitro was live, and I decided to go on the air two minutes before RAW, and I gave away everything that happened on RAW so YOU people didn't have to watch it? (boos intensify a little more) Oh, DAMN! That was ruthless. And it was a little aggressive, but it worked. J.R.: He has a point there. Bischoff: And how about Alundra Blayze, you remember her? Vince's Woman's World Champion, I signed her away and I said 'hey, Alundra, bring your belt to Nitro,' she didn't really want to, but I made her, 'cause... she worked for me. King: *laughs* How could you not love this guy? Zbyszko: King, you've got about two seconds to take that back before I knock your damn block off.... J.R.: Easy now here, guys... Bischoff: And I had her go out on national television and throw it in the trash! Hahaha... that one killed me, it was a little ruthless, it was a little aggressive, but it worked. *pause* But you know what the important thing was? Is I forced Vince McMahon to change the way he did television. I did. Because on Nitro, I gave away a competitive main event every week with big stars! Hell, WCW Nitro changed the face of sports entertainment forever! And I singlehandedly forced Vince McMahon to change the way HE did business so HE could keep up with ME. It was beautiful. (Boos return again. Bischoff is smiling away.) Zbyszko: Can I slap him? Please? Bischoff: Hey, remember when I created the nWo? Cutting edge! Ruthless! Aggressive! Not some stale retread. Nitro beat RAW EIGHTY-FOUR WEEKS IN A ROW. Eighty-four weeks in a row, and I came THIS close - can you see it? THIS close to putting this company out of business forever. Singlehandedly! (More boos) You all can boo me, but you know I'm right! So naturally, I was a little surprised when my phone rang...and on the other end was none other than Vince McMahon, and he said 'hey Eric, whaddaya think about becoming the general manager of RAW?' Well I gotta tell ya, I was surprised. I was DAMN surprised. But then the more I thought about it, the more sense it made to me - because you see if there's one person - ONE person who can take this... struggling franchise, and turn it into a national media powerhouse! Well... that would be... ME. J.R.: He sure loves to hear himself talk. As if we didn't already know that.... Bischoff: And for all of the rest of you in the back - some of you I've had a chance to work with, some of you I'm meeting for the very first time - one thing I'm sure you'll all agree on is that people generally like working for me - it's really not about the money - truly, it's not. People are drawn to winners - you people are drawn to winners - Mr. McMahon was drawn to a winner, which is why he hired me. Let's face it: the WWE needs me - you people DESERVE me - and there's one thing I wanna promise each and every one of you people. I am here to put the 'E' in WWE. (More boos rain down on him, but he continues to smile.) Zbyszko: Is he done now? I'm about this close to ripping my ears off. J.R.: Our new General Manager giving a rather lengthy introduction for himself here on RAW. Well, one thing about him sure hasn't changed: he loves to spew hot air. King: It got me fired up! Bischoff: Now, I bet a lot of you are wondering what this draft lottery is. Starting today, everyone on the roster will either be a RAW superstar or a SmackDown superstar! (Pauses for cheers.) And RAW has been awarded the first draft pick! If you all would turn your attention to the TitanTron please. J.R.: Okay, here we go. In mere moments, we will find out who our first pick is. King: Who's it gonna be? King: Oh, my...! J.R.: Stone Cold is our first draft pick! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Zbyszko: Look at Bischoff! He looks like he's about to piss his pants! And doing a bad job of hiding it too! And Austin....he looks like he wants to rip his ears off too. J.R.: What a draft pick! Here he comes down to the ring, the toughest S.O.B. in WWE, one of the greatest superstars this company has ever seen, and now he's exclusive property of the RAW roster! Bischoff: On behalf of the RAW roster, I'd like to welcome you to the - Austin: Actually, I'd like to welcome you, Mr. Bischoff, to WWE, on behalf of the entire WWE roster. Zbyszko: Well, that's awfully decent of him. King: Don't fall for it, Bischoff! Austin: And while I do admire what you accomplished over on Monday Nyquil - Zbyszko: *laughs* Austin: - the fact of the matter is, son, you're in Stone Cold's ring, now. So, here's a word of advice for you: stay outta Stone Cold's way, and nobody will get hurt. Bischoff: Funny, I was under the impression that I was calling the shots. (Crowd boos. Eric changes his tone to make it sound understanding, but he's obviously being sarcastic) Now look, Steve - it's our first night working together, and I don't wanna get off on the wrong foot. You're a superb sports entertainer, there's no denying that, but if you step out of line, there's nothing to stop me from firing you - like I did in '95. (Boos intensify. Austin has a sarcastic smile of his own on his face.) Austin: Touche. So, from one professional to another, how 'bout it? (He holds out his hand to shake Bischoff's hand. Bischoff is apprehensive at first, but then takes it. Austin's music starts to play again.) Toss me a couple of Steveweisers! (Two silver cans of beer are tossed from off-screen into the ring, and Austin hands one to Bischoff.) J.R.: Well...a surprisingly decent welcome from the first official member of the RAW roster, Stone Cold Steve Austin, in welcoming new GM Bischoff to WWE! Zbyszko: It would've been better if he'd Stunner'd the bastard. J.R.: Oh, my - ! King: What the hell?! Zbyszko: Ha-ha! Yes! Austin: Is it just me or did everybody else wanna punch this son-of-a-bitch in the face while he was rambling on out here?*gets down in Bischoff's face* You seem to have forgotten while you were playing second-fiddle to Ted Turner on Monday Nyquil that Stone Cold doesn't listen to nobody, certainly not a chickenshit piece of crap like you. (cheers intensify) King: I can't believe he has the balls to say that! Zbyszko: I can. Austin: Now, I don't care if you're the General Manager; if you get in Stone Cold's way, I'm gonna beat your ass! And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold says so! Oh - and before I go - (tosses a Steveweiser to Zbyszko) - that Stunner was for you, Larry. Zbyszko: Man, this night keeps getting better! Not only does arguably the best superstar in the company become an exclusive member of RAW, but I got to see Eric Bischoff beat up, and I got a free beer! King: Oh, shut up, Larry! What the hell did he ever do to you? Zbyszko: Pull your head outta your ass first, King, and I'll give you a list longer than the members of the nWo. J.R.: Well, RAW has certainly started off eventful so far! Stone Cold Steve Austin being announced as RAW's first pick for the roster, then reminding Eric Bischoff that he is indeed the big man on campus. King: You can bet that Bischoff is not gonna let that assault go unpunished! And why should he? It was an unprovoked attack on our new General Manager! That's certainly no way to treat your new boss. Zbyszko: Well, Bischoff was the one who was stupid enough to get in the ring with Austin without some kind of protection. J.R.: Anyway...our first match of the night is up next! J.R.: World Tag Team Champions Bradshaw and Faarooq will team up with the Hardys to battle the Dudley Boyz, Al Snow, and Hardcore Champion Raven in an eight-man tag team match! That will be next! J.R.: We are back live, and we are moments from out first match of the night! Lillian: The following contest is an 8-man tag team match set for one fall! Lillian: Currently making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 560 pounds, they are the World Tag Team Champions, Bradshaw and Faarooq, the Acolytes Protection Agency! J.R.: And here they come, the reigning World Tag Team Champions, the WWE's resident bodyguards-for-hire, who very well could be split up by the draft lottery! What would happen to them then? And what would happen to the tag team titles? Zbyszko: That's another thing I was wondering - are the titles bound by brands? Because, say, wherever Triple H ends up, will the title be bound to that show, or will he have to vacate it? J.R.: Considering that The Game is not a member of either roster right now, I'd say that he'll take the title with them, but I'm not on the board of directors, so I have no clue. Lillian: And their tag team partners, accompanied by Lita, from Cameron, North Carolina, at a combined weight of 451 pounds, Matt and Jeff, The Hardy Boyz! J.R.: And here come the Hardy Boyz, accompanied by the lovely Lita. These guys are arguably one of the hottest upstart tag teams in the wrestling business. No strangers to tag team gold themselves, they won their first tag team championship from Bradshaw and Faarooq, back in 1999! Zbyszko: They've definitely been able to prove that they can hang with the big dogs, J.R. But they've also proven that they are capable of success in singles competition too! Matt Hardy, in particular, for his lengthy run as European Champion; he holds the second-longest reign to date, and is the longest reigning American to hold the belt! J.R.: That is true, Larry. Jeff also has a reign as Intercontinental Champion under his belt, which he did by defeating Triple H! Both of them also have reigns as Light Heavyweight and Hardcore Champion on their resumes as well. There is a chance that the Hardys could be split up by the draft lottery too, which, if that happens, could give them the opportunity to shine as singles competitors! J.R.: And of course, Lita isn't safe from the draft lottery either. What direction will her career take if she's split up from Matt and Jeff? Lillian: And their opponents, accompanied by Joel Gertner, from Dudleyville, at a combined weight of 560 pounds, Bubba Ray and D-Von, the Dudley Boyz! J.R.: And here come WWE's resident table-breakers, who also are no strangers to tag team gold, and that idiot Joel Gertner. King: Now, J.R., I know you're jealous that Gertner is better-looking than you, but that's no reason to call him an idiot. J.R.: Oh, please...... Zbyszko: The Hardys and Dudleys are no strangers to each other either. Their ladder matches and TLC matches against each other and Edge and Christian are legendary. J.R.: They sure were. Those matches re-defined the word "extreme". And, speaking of extreme..... Lillian: And their tag team partner, from The Bowery, weighing in at 244 pounds, he is the WWE Hardcore Champion, Raven! J.R.: Raven, an ECW Original, is definitely a not a man to be taken lightly. A former ECW World Heavyweight Champion, former ECW Tag Team Champion, and former U.S. Champion, at one point, he was considered one of the most dangerous men in professional wrestling. I'm sure The Sandman and Tommy Dreamer could back me up on that one.... King: Just be glad that he's not parading around with a carnival of freaks..... King: I mean, he's enough of a freak himself anyway. J.R.: Well, I won't disagree with that.... Lillian: And his tag team partner, from Lima, Ohio, weighing in at 235 pounds, Al Snow! J.R.: Here's another man that should not be taken lightly. Al Snow, nearly two decades of in-ring experience to his credit, a former European, Hardcore, and Tag Team Champion - and ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that SmackDown's first draft pick will be announced after this match. King: It could be any one of these guys! Any one of the three tag teams in this match could be split up after this match - they might be competing in their last match as a tag team! Do either of you think we'll be seeing the end of the Dudleys, Hardys, or APA tonight? Zbyszko: It's possible, but I certainly hope not. While I may not be a fan of those damn Dudleys, you gotta admit that they are one heck of a team, and it would be a shame to split them up at the height of their success. Same for the Hardys and the APA. J.R.: Well, nobody in this match is a complete stranger to SmackDown, so it may not be so bad from their point of view. J.R.: Here we go, our first match of the night getting underway. Bradshaw, the legal man for his team against Raven. J.R.: Bradshaw, the big brawler from Sweetwater, Texas, has been with WWE since 1996. A former collegiate football player, the nephew of Blackjack Lanza and cousin of Barry Windham, he is the epitome of "wrestling tough". J.R.: D-Von taking advantage of the cornered Bradshaw..... Zbyszko: And here comes Bubba Ray! J.R.: Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von's half-brother, as well as the heavier of the two. Zbyszko: To borrow a line of yours, J.R., business is starting to pick up! J.R.: Indeed! Bradshaw's been on the defensive for most of the match so far, but now he seems to be going on the offensive. King: Looks like Bubba Ray senses it too; he looks a bit worried. J.R.: And here we go; the first tag of the match for Bradshaw's team has been made, and Matt Hardy is raring to go! J.R.: Matt is feeding off the adrenaline of this crowd! You can almost feel the energy radiating from him! Zbyszko: Looks like Bubba Ray was trying to end this one early. Smart thinking on his part. J.R.: I have to agree. Matt is on a roll here. J.R.: There's the Side Effect! You think Matt might wanna finish this off quickly too? King: I would. Especially if your facing someone as dangerous as the Dudleys. J.R.: And here comes D-Von, entering the fray for the first time in this match. J.R.: D-Von on fire here; Matt better counter back or tag someone in quickly! J.R.: And there's the Saving Grace! Matt's in trouble! Zbyszko: Man, he sure is. J.R.: Twist of Fate! There's the Twist of Fate! J.R.: Matt tags in his brother! And it looks like, are they - ? J.R.: And it is! The Event Omega! Zbyszko: It never gets old seeing that move. J.R.: And here's the pin! Will Jeff win it? J.R.: Damn it, Gertner, get the hell out of there! Zbyszko: Wait, here comes Lita! J.R.: And all hell has broken loose at ringside here! J.R.: Listen to this crowd! They know what happens next! Zbyszko: Yeah, baby! Swanton Bomb! Lillian: Here are your winners: The Acolytes Protection Agency and the Hardy Boyz! J.R.: And what a way to kick off RAW! Zbyszko: I could not agree more, J.R. King: I hope they savored that match, because like we said earlier, this could very well be the last time that any of those guys appears here on RAW. J.R.: Very true, King. J.R.: Ladies and gentlemen, up next we will find out who SmackDown's first draft pick will be, and we will also be hearing pre-recorded announcements from the heads of the governing bodies of wrestling in both Japan and Mexico, on the talent exchanges that WWE has just been announced as part of the brand expansion! That will be next. J.R.: We are back live on Monday Night RAW, and ladies and gentlemen, we are moments away from finding out SmackDown's first draft pick. Joey Styles is currently in the ring. Styles: Ladies and Gentlemen, please turn your attention to the TitanTron at this time as SmackDown's first draft pick is chosen. J.R: Oh my god! King: Whoa! J.R.: Listen to this crowd! They are going crazy for the Brahma Bull! Zbyszko: SmackDown sure scored big time! It's too bad we won't be seeing The Rock on RAW anymore. King: I have to agree with that. There are few better in professional wrestling today than the Rock. Styles: Rock, thank you for joining me. First, how do you feel as being SmackDown's first choice in the draft lottery? The Rock: Finally...*the crowd pops as they know what comes next, and in typical fashion, join him* The Rock has come back to Atlanta! *pause for cheers* In response to your question, Joey Styles, The Rock is definitely pleased that he's going back to his show, the show he helped build, SmackDown! *Crowd cheers* And let The Rock also say this - Zbyszko: Oh, god. Not him again. Bischoff: Rock, even though you, as of right now, are a SmackDown exclusive superstar, RAW is my show, so therefore you have to follow my rules. (Boos intensify.) Zbyszko: Ah, here comes the ego trip... King: He's right, though. Bischoff: Now before my little encounter with Steve Austin (crowd: What?) I had planned to make (crowd: What?) another announcement. (crowd: What?) For you see, every championship (crowd: What?) has a certain amount of flexability. (crowd: What?) But in keeping with the WWE's rules (crowd: What?), only five championships are allowed to be on a brand (crowd: What?) at any given time. (crowd: What?) So, with that being said (crowd: What?) I'm here to announce (crowd: What?) that you, Rock, in your last match on RAW, (crowd: What?) will participate in a 10-man interbrand over-the-top rope battle royal (crowd: What?) to crown WWE's first World Heavyweight Champion! (crowd cheers. Bischoff's music briefly plays again when he leaves.) J.R.: That's a huge announcement! Zbyszko: Is he serious? King: Of course he is! He's our general manager isn't he? Styles: Wow....a tremendous announcement from our general manager! Rock, how do you feel about that? Rock: How does the Rock feel about that? Well, Joey Styles, the Rock says, tonight, in front of the millions (crowd: And millions!) of his fans, he will be winning the World Heavyweight Champiinship, and he will be taking it with him to SmackDown.....if ya smeeellllll......what The Rock....is cookin'! J.R.: A huge announcement for tonight's main event! And even though we don't know who else will be participating in this battle royal, you gotta bet that The Rock is a frontrunner to win it! King: I agree, J.R.! And if I wasn't fired up before, I sure am now! J.R.: Well, ladies and gentlemen, as part of the brand expansion, WWE has announced a talent exchange between WWE and major promotions in Japan and Mexico. Let's hear from Francisco Higuera, President of the Comisión de Box y Lucha Libre Mexico D.F. and Hiroki Fujikawa, Chairman of the Japanese Wrestling Confederation. Francisco Higuera: I am happy to announce that, starting today, we will begin a talent exchange program with World Wrestling Entertainment. Members of the rosters of Mexico's top two Lucha Libre promotions, AAA and CMLL, will begin appearing at WWE events. Likewise, members of the WWE roster are free to appear with AAA or CMLL, or any smaller, independent promotions. I look forward to this exciting joint promotion and cannot wait to see our finest luchadores represent Mexico in a WWE ring. Translator: On behalf of the Japanese Wrestling Confederation, I would like to announce a special talent exchange beginning with Vince McMahon's WWE. Talent from both New Japan Pro Wrestling and All Japan Pro Wrestling will be free to appear with WWE, and likewise, WWE wrestlers will be able to appear here in Japan. J.R.: And our next match of the night will showcase quite a few of international superstars! It will be a 15-man "International Incident" battle royal! Lillian: The following match is a 15-man over-the-top-rope battle royal! Lillian: Currently making his way to the ring, from Hiroshima, Japan, weighing in at 209 pounds, Jushin "Thunder" Liger! J.R.: And here comes a man, who, undoubtedly was a pioneer for the high-flying style back in the mid-90's. Larry, you have see more of his matches than either me or King. Larry: And I feel proud to have done so! I love seeing Liger go at it in the ring, and seeing him in a WWE ring will be awesome. King: No one's questioning what he can do in the ring, but why does he have to wear that ridiculous body suit? Lillian: Now currently making his way to the ring, from Monclova, Coahuila, Mexico, weighing in at 221 lbs., La Parka! J.R.: And here's another revolutionary high-flyer, who, I understand, is one of Mexico's top cruiserweights. Zbyszko: La Parka is another guy I loved watching back in WCW. I bet you anything he'll be one of the top contenders for the Cruiserweight Title now that he's gonna be in a WWE ring more often. King: Somebody call Castle Greyskull, I think Skeletor lost his face! *laughs* J.R.: Will you stop, King? Lillian: From Tokyo, Japan, weighing in at 225 pounds, Shinjiro Otani! J.R.: Yet another WCW alumnus here in Shinjiro Otani, who, I believe, was WCW's first ever cruiserweight champion, which he won by beating Wild Pegasus, AKA Chris Benoit! Zbyszko: You'd be correct, J.R. J.R.: He's also known for his feuds with Eddie Guerrero - a former WCW Cruiserweight Champion in his own right - in both Japan and WCW. Their match at Starrcade '96 was a classic. Zbyszko: Makes you wonder if Guerrero and Otani will cross paths here in WWE later on, eh? J.R: Otani and Liger are not strangers. That would give both of them advantages over the others. Lillian: From Mexico City, weighing in at 181 pounds, Heavy Metal! J.R.: This man comes from one Mexico's greatest Lucha Libre families. A second generation wrestler. The son of Pepe Casas and brother of legends Negro Casas and Felino, Heavy Metal, I think has filled the shoes of everyone else in his family pretty well. He has multiple title reigns to his name in multiple Mexican promotions. I can see Heavy Metal having a future here.
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